Question regarding marriage age...

[Futher]

What do you guys think is the minimum acceptable age to get married? I'm only 19, and I'm not ready nor willing to get married anytime soon. I've read people getting engaged after 6 months of dating recently. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half now, and was just wondering what other people thought was a good age to get married. Thanks.

 

[minendo]

Differs on the couple.

 

[MithShrike]

When you're ready.

 

[Konigin]

Originally posted by: Mith
When you're ready.

agreed.

 

[iamme]

more important than age is maturity. knowing what you want out of a partner. knowing your deficiencies and those of your partner. financial, occupational, religious and other personal goals. however, that knowledge seems to come with age.

unfortunately, romantic love is not nearly enough.

 

[DWW]

I think at least 30 years old for most people (realistically its 28-32 range)

People will flame that because they married earlier but if more people were wise and saved money well, married at 30, then they could easily buy their home, not go into debt and provide the best for their kids.

 

[Siddhartha]

Financial independence is an important criteria for marriage.

 

[Yzzim]

A good friend of mine got married when he was 21, his wife was 22. They are very happy together. Sure, they aren't financially well off (he's taking his masters courses while she's working) but it doesn't bother them.

 

[jadinolf]

I chose 30 to get married.

Only down side for me is that I was 33 when my son was born. Might have been too old for the first one.

 

[theNEOone]

i'm 21 and have been dating my g/f for 6 years. i'm not planning on getting married any earlier than 24.


=|

 

[GeekDrew]

Originally posted by: Yzzim
A good friend of mine got married when he was 21, his wife was 22. They are very happy together. Sure, they aren't financially well off (he's taking his masters courses while she's working) but it doesn't bother them.

One of my brothers is 31... got married shortly before their now 11 year old was born (making him around 20). My other brother is 28, and has been married 7 years (making him 22). My best friend is 25, and has been married 3 years, placing him at 22 (though I think he was 21 when he got married... the dates fall out of line, etc).

None of them are independently wealthy, but they don't let it both them either. They are all very happy couples. My parents got married when dad was 21 and mom was 18. Dad turns 59 tomorrow, and they are still very much in love. And yes, they were poor for a while when they got married, I'm told (that was a while back, AND dad was in the military at the time).

Everyone that I have listed in this message, though, I view as the exception to the rule. My best friend, as well as my oldest brother, are both remarkably mature for their age. My other brother's wife is the very mature one in that relationship. And I'm only making those judgement calls because I've been told I'm much more mature than most people five years older than me... however, I believe that other people's maturity is in the eye of the beholder.

Me... I'm just looking for a boyfriend. I need someone that I can be with, hold, love, etc. I wouldn't mind getting married while I'm young though.

 

[Futher]

I think I'm pretty mature for my age. I don't party, and all my life I've believe that the point of dating was to find someone that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I think most teenagers now adays are in it for pleasure, not love, which is rather sad.

 

[theNEOone]

Originally posted by: Futher
I think I'm pretty mature for my age. I don't party, and all my life I've believe that the point of dating was to find someone that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I think most teenagers now adays are in it for pleasure, not love, which is rather sad.

well, being mature has nothing to do w/ partying. and, yes most teenages are in it for the pleasure because that's the way things are at that young age. (i'm pretty damn young myself, btw). regardless, at 15,16...20 (hell, even 25 and over for some individuals) you don't even know yourself well enough to commit, let alone know what you want in a "mate."


=|

 

[prvteye2003]

for some people, including myself, money doesn't make you wealthy. I'm the richest man in the world because I have my wife, children, and a home to share with them.

 

[Futher]

amen =)

 

[iamme]

more important than wealth, i think common financial goals are important. or at least an understanding of each other's goals. if one person aspires to be filthy rich while the other wants to live as a starving artist, there may be conflict.

 

[Whisper]

It's tough to set a minimum age, and I'm inclined to agree with the "when you're ready" comment. However, I've always believed that during the course of their lives, everyone will break someone's heart, and have their own heart broken.

As such, I'd almost be willing to say that anything below at least 20 is stretching it. I personally wouldn't be willing to marry any female younger than 22...not a single one that I've met has known enough about herself before that point to be able to be happy in a marriage.

But, again, it really all depends on the situation.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Futher
I think I'm pretty mature for my age. I don't party, and all my life I've believe that the point of dating was to find someone that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I think most teenagers now adays are in it for pleasure, not love, which is rather sad.

I have to agree with this. I honestly do believe that you should be consider yourself ready for marriage within two years when you begin dating. If you're 19 and don't think you'll be ready to marry until you're 26, you'll be forming relationships that are almost bound to struggle some. Women do tend to want to get married in a year or four. If you begin dating somebody who you think is wonderful and would be a good mate when you're 19, but you just don't feel anywhere near ready for marriage, you're looking at maybe 7 years (in our example) of dating. Fewer women than men are into a waiting period of that length. Hence, dating that young when you don't think you'll be ready to marry until you're older makes for a single, very long, probably somewhat strained relationship or a series of multiple shorter relationships.

I think a person can be ready as young as eighteen or as old as never, depending on the person. I just encourage taking your readiness to marry into account when you begin a relationship.