Question on Jesus and Incest

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FeuerFrei

Diamond Member
Mar 30, 2005
9,144
929
126
You know, it's called the immaculate conception for a reason.
Mary didn't boink anyone to get pregnant.
Mary conceived miraculously when God implanted an embryo in her womb.
A miracle is when God breaks the laws of nature. In this case the miracle was a virgin giving birth.
God's son inhabited the body of Mary's baby who was later named Jesus. When Jesus returned to heaven eventually, he took his earthly body with him.

 

BigJ

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
21,330
1
81
Originally posted by: FeuerFrei
You know, it's called the immaculate conception for a reason.
Mary didn't boink anyone to get pregnant.
Mary conceived miraculously when God implanted an embryo in her womb.
A miracle is when God breaks the laws of nature. In this case the miracle was a virgin giving birth.
God's son inhabited the body of Mary's baby who was later named Jesus. When Jesus returned to heaven eventually, he took his earthly body with him.

You mean the cannibals didn't eat Jesus' flesh?
 

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
359
126
Originally posted by: sygyzy
Originally posted by: destrekor
what mary are we talking about? i was watching discovery channel that had something to do with the davinci code, and it talked about some 'whore' mary magellan or something like that.... i dunno... there's my input for this thread :D

661 posts of pure trash in the past two months. Please stop.

what contribution did you just make to this thread?
and what is trash? obviously you havent seen all my posts...
besides, all of ATOT is trash topics.. take a look at the front page right now
this is the only 'somewhat meaningful' thread alive atm. so, stop crapping on other peoples threads. i was making a suggestion to add mary magellan (or whatever her name was) as a conversation because I myself am not sure and would like to see if she has anything to do with, well, anything.
do i need to bow down to you or something? 'cuz um.... i dont see 'god' as your member title, so i really don't see your opinion being the iron-fist law.

edit:
Originally posted by: FeuerFrei
You know, it's called the immaculate conception for a reason.
Mary didn't boink anyone to get pregnant.
Mary conceived miraculously when God implanted an embryo in her womb.
A miracle is when God breaks the laws of nature. In this case the miracle was a virgin giving birth.
God's son inhabited the body of Mary's baby who was later named Jesus. When Jesus returned to heaven eventually, he took his earthly body with him.

im not gonna religion bash or anything, but i kinda find that funny ;)
 

Eli

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
50,419
8
81
Originally posted by: chambersc
1st...who believes that jesus = God?
2nd...Adam had sex with Mary, not God. God can't physically impregnate a woman.
Wow.

LOL.
 

conehead433

Diamond Member
Dec 4, 2002
5,568
901
126
Mary was a hottie. She caught God wacking off over her and took his sperm and rubbed herself with it until she orgasmed. Ninth moths later virgin birth. Mystery solved.
 

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
359
126
Originally posted by: conehead433
Mary was a hottie. She caught God wacking off over her and took his sperm and rubbed herself with it until she orgasmed. Ninth moths later virgin birth. Mystery solved.

:shocked:
 

Ricochet

Diamond Member
Oct 31, 1999
6,390
19
81
Originally posted by: chambersc
1st...who believes that jesus = God?
2nd...Adam had sex with Mary, not God. God can't physically impregnate a woman.

"Tell that to my wife(sister)." -Zeus
 

Viper GTS

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
38,107
433
136
Originally posted by: conehead433
Mary was a hottie. She caught God wacking off over her and took his sperm and rubbed herself with it until she orgasmed. Ninth moths later virgin birth. Mystery solved.

Wow that is going to offend a few people...

Viper GTS
 

DAGTA

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,172
1
0
Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Originally posted by: conehead433
Mary was a hottie. She caught God wacking off over her and took his sperm and rubbed herself with it until she orgasmed. Ninth moths later virgin birth. Mystery solved.

Wow that is going to offend a few people...

Viper GTS

Probably some but I think most people here have learned to just tune it out.

Threads like these just reinforce something that became obvious when I was teaching: humans prefer to live in ignorance and even write and speak in ignorance on a topic than actually open a book and learn something.
 

RollWave

Diamond Member
May 20, 2003
4,201
3
81
You could actually say that God raped Mary... She was not given the choice of whether or not she wanted a child, God forced that fate upon her.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
It would be interesting to be able to do DNA tests on Mary and on Jesus (and perhaps on Joseph as well). If the whole "immaculate conception" thing is true (personally, I think it's bullshit), then was half of Jesus' DNA contributed by Mary? If so, what does the other half look like, and where'd it come from?
 

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
359
126
Originally posted by: DAGTA
Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Originally posted by: conehead433
Mary was a hottie. She caught God wacking off over her and took his sperm and rubbed herself with it until she orgasmed. Ninth moths later virgin birth. Mystery solved.

Wow that is going to offend a few people...

Viper GTS

Probably some but I think most people here have learned to just tune it out.

Threads like these just reinforce something that became obvious when I was teaching: humans prefer to live in ignorance and even write and speak in ignorance on a topic than actually open a book and learn something.

what are you suggesting people here read? the bible? or a true, historical book that details jesus' life, and not the divine bs?
 

TBone48

Platinum Member
Feb 23, 2005
2,431
0
0
Originally posted by: rnp614
You could actually say that God raped Mary... She was not given the choice of whether or not she wanted a child, God forced that fate upon her.


:disgust: No.You could say it, but it wouldn't be true.
 

DAGTA

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,172
1
0
Originally posted by: destrekor
what are you suggesting people here read? the bible? or a true, historical book that details jesus' life, and not the divine bs?

The original post question references an event written in the Bible. So, yes, reading the Bible would take a person to the source of that event.

You do know it's possible to read a book just so you know it's content without claiming to believe it, right?
 

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
359
126
Originally posted by: DAGTA
Originally posted by: destrekor
what are you suggesting people here read? the bible? or a true, historical book that details jesus' life, and not the divine bs?

The original post question references an event written in the Bible. So, yes, reading the Bible would take a person to the source of that event.

You do know it's possible to read a book just so you know it's content without claiming to believe it, right?

i know enough of its content. i really do not see a purpose in reading the bible. i'd read a historical book based on events that can be accounted for, but besides.. i couldn't even bring myself to finish such a book (the bible). my attention span is lacking, thus why i rarely finish any games i play and only books that have an engrossing story can I actually read. Rainbow Six, and Michael Crichton books :)
 

KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
how in the world does anyone go from immaculate conception and virgin birth to Jesus having sex with his mother?

NO ONE had sex with Mary. That is why it is called virgin birth.
 

OutHouse

Lifer
Jun 5, 2000
36,410
616
126
Originally posted by: conehead433
Mary was a hottie. She caught God wacking off over her and took his sperm and rubbed herself with it until she orgasmed. Ninth moths later virgin birth. Mystery solved.

if there is a Hell, you just got a express ticket to it.
 

tfcmasta97

Platinum Member
Feb 7, 2004
2,003
0
0
Originally posted by: chambersc
1st...who believes that jesus = God?
2nd...Adam had sex with Mary, not God. God can't physically impregnate a woman.

zeus says differently. hes a badass pimp.

to OP, it dont matter either way cuz its all bull.

/thread!
 

DAGTA

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,172
1
0
Originally posted by: destrekor
i know enough of its content.

Originally posted by: destrekor
what mary are we talking about? i was watching discovery channel that had something to do with the davinci code, and it talked about some 'whore' mary magellan or something like that.... i dunno

Obviously, you don't.
 

conehead433

Diamond Member
Dec 4, 2002
5,568
901
126
My post was made in jest. However, given what we know to be scientifically valid, a woman could get pregnant without ever having intercourse by simply having semen reach her uterus.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,541
920
126
Originally posted by: chambersc
1st...who believes that jesus = God?
2nd...Adam had sex with Mary, not God. God can't physically impregnate a woman.

No no no, you got it all wrong. Adam had sex with the snake. That's why they were thrown out of Eden. Duh!