question for parents

[rh71]

Curious to know whether you wish you had your children earlier or later than you did. Would 30+ be too late or would you have preferred to wait till after you're 30 ? I know people are different everywhere but your opinions would still be interesting. If you can, state your age when you first started having kids and how you feel about it now. Thx.

 

[LeiZaK]

30-ish seems like a good time to start... that would put the kid reaching 18 when you're 50-ish.

 

[alm4rr]

no kids, but i would only be able to have them (short of accident) after 30 (27 presently)

 

[Bryophyte]

I had my kids at 27 & 31 (spouse is 16 months older than I am.) I think the timing was ok, though I suppose I could've waited another year or two on the first one in order to work on my career a bit more.

 

[Biggerhammer]

30ish was good for us. Old enough to be done with college, old enough to be somewhat established in careers, young enough to keep up with the sprog.

 

[RKS]

had our first a few years ago and our second a few months ago. we are both in our early\mid 30's. if i had been more mature and finished my education earlier we probably would have had them in our mid/late 20's which i consider ideal for us.

you have to weigh your social life and professional growth against the enormous amount of energy that you need to raise kids properly.

going to work is a vacation but i would never trade my life for anybody's.

sorry about the caps, i have the younger boy in my other arm right now.

 

[Pliablemoose]

30 or later, you have the $ to actually raise a family then.

1 child, born when I was 29.

 

[SlowSpyder]

My girlfriend and I are pregnant right now. She's 31 I'm 28. I'm glad I waited and I think she is too. She just finished her masters degree and waiting a while has given us both time to get a little more established then if we would have been 5 years younger. Having a baby, working full time, and trying to finish the masters degree would have been very difficult. We have a house (she bought it 6 years ago) and we are looking to sell it and make a small profit and buy something bigger. This would have been a lot more difficult if this had all happened earlier. Obviously not everyones situation is the same, but for us I think now is the perfect time.

 

[RKS]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
30 or later, you have the $ to actually raise a family then.

1 child, born when I was 29.

if you wait until you are financially secure/independantly wealthy you may be waiting until your 50's or 60's.

 

[rh71]

^ for more opinions.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: RKS
had our first a few years ago and our second a few months ago. we are both in our early\mid 30's. if i had been more mature and finished my education earlier we probably would have had them in our mid/late 20's which i consider ideal for us.

you have to weigh your social life and professional growth against the enormous amount of energy that you need to raise kids properly.

going to work is a vacation but i would never trade my life for anybody's.

sorry about the caps, i have the younger boy in my other arm right now.

When you have kids kiss your social life good bye.

And I agree with you 110% about work being a vacation. Now that I'm a dad, I love going to work and dread leaving work. lol I love my kids but they can be more than a hand full.

 

[FoBoT]

it was just right, not too soon nor too late

my wife always said she wouldn't have kids after she turned 30 and my youngest daughter was born 6 weeks before her 30th birthday


my kids were born when i was 27 and 32. so i wasn't too young/immature to be a dad and i won't be going on social security before they leave home. just right. my youngest will graduate right after i turn 50 years old

 

[rudder]

Had my first child 8 months after the wedding (I was 26). I would have rather waited, but I've got no complaints as to the way things turned out. The only reason for wanting to wait was so the wife and I could travel to more exotic places.

 

[shimsham]

had both my children by the age of 24. at first, i was freaking out. i always wanted kids, but 22 is young to start and i wanst sure i was ready. but now i wouldnt have done it any other way.

being that young i didnt have a career i had to be a slave to, and i dont mind sacrificing personal gain to give them a good home and be here for them. best investment ive ever made. besides, ill only be what, 42 when the youngest graduates hs and goes to college. plenty of time to persue what i want and take those risks.

money really hasnt been a problem. weve managed to buy a home and pay off two cars (at the same time), and we dont make squat, really. we dont have a 900" plasma tv or anything like that, but we are all happy.

 

[D1gger]

We had our first when we were 30 and the second at 33, then "snip snip" no more kids for me.

It has worked out very well for us. By the time we were 30 we were reasonably stable, financially secure and were able to focus energy on our kids instead of building a career.

On the other hand, if I had to do it again, I'm not sure I would have kids at all. I love my kids, but there have been times when I wanted to change directions in my life and I didn't have the freedom to do so.

A few years ago, I really wanted to take a year or two off and bum around spending some of our money, but it wouldn't have been in our kids best interest to take them out of school for a year or more.

A few years before that, I would likely have left my wife during an especially difficult time. Out of respect for our kids, I couldn't leave, so I am still in a marriage that I don't have any passion for.

 

[ZoomStop]

We just had our second (I'm 26, wife is only 22) and were pretty happy about everything. Yeah, being social with friends can be tough but the way we figure it our kids will be in college by the time I'm 44. So I would rather travel and have fun at 44 when I have the vacation time & money to do so.
There are pro's and con's either way but the point is, unless you an asshat, you'll be happy when you have them and be sad when they leave for college.

 

[Boxxcar]

30 +/- a couple years is good. You have an opportunity to travel beforehand, buy and furnish a house, etc, before having the family. Just remember though, when your kids become teenagers, they will hate you!!!!

 

[SearchMaster]

First at 31, last at 36. I think it was perfect. By the time they're in college, the house will be paid off and we should be very financially secure. Then when they graduate, I retire. I'm not sure I would have had as much patience and maturity if I'd had them much earlier, because it takes a lot of each.

 

[CPA]

Sometimes I wish I could stuff all of them back in.

But since I can't, the last will be leaving the house in about 13 years. I will be 51, so I'll have a few good years left before I die.

 

[Ramma2]

The earlier the better. Had our first kid at 23, second will be at 27, and I am pleased with how we did it. Wife and I are the same age, we are young and have plenty of energy to enjoy life with the kids. They will be 18 and on their own when we are 45. At that age we will be well established with our finances, free to travel the world and relax for the remainder of our lives.

Ahhh sounds good to me

 

[EatSpam]

Originally posted by: rh71
Curious to know whether you wish you had your children earlier or later than you did. Would 30+ be too late or would you have preferred to wait till after you're 30 ? I know people are different everywhere but your opinions would still be interesting. If you can, state your age when you first started having kids and how you feel about it now. Thx.

I had my first right after turning 25. My second will be born right after I turn 27. Seems fine... I guess I could have had them a little earlier and it would have been ok.

Little kids are a lot of work. I'd rather have them when I'm younger and still not so busy with work so I have time to be involved.

 

[Chryso]

Alba isn't going to have your kids.

 

[Scarpozzi]

Just a point...they say the later you wait to have kids, the more dangerous it is for the female. In other words, don't wait too long....30 is probably safe enough, but if you plan on having more than one or two, you might want to go just a little earlier than that for the female. 28-30

My fiance just turned 23, so we have a few years to plan things out....but will probably shoot for 3 years before we have kids, so we'll be looking at 26-27 most-likely.

 

[snoturtle]

Well I will be the odd one than

My first was born a week before my 19th birthday
Am now 28 with my fourth on the way

Wouldn't have changed any of it
By the time I am 50 they will all be all out of the house

I grew up with alot of kids that had parents that were closer in age to my grandparents than my parents and I didn't want to be the old dad

 

[shimsham]

:shocked:

4!?!

:shocked:

/passes out

i couldnt handle it. snipped after 2.