Question About Roommate's Significant Other

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HelloWorl

Senior member
Feb 13, 2009
385
0
0
Since Bonnie and Andy share a room, is the rent split 3 ways even or 50/50 by room?
THAT is a big equalizer. If you have 2 people over all the time for 50%, can't Carl do the same for winter break?

In terms of Dave coming over whenever he wants. That's not totally unacceptable, but borderline if Carl never got the OK.

Also, how long have Dave and Carl been dating? That is a big one. Is Dave trustworthy?

As far as Carl saying Dave could have friends over while Carl is out of town? FUCK NO! Ask his mommy and daddy to have a sleepover. You know why he's doing it at your place (flamesuit) ... he's having one of those homosexual orgies!!! Time to invest in some clorox.

Rent payments were noted above:
"Andy and Bonnie pay $400 each, Carl pays $500. Every appliance (including washing machine and dryer) and furniture item in the place is owned by Andy or Bonnie, except for the microwave. "
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
its not about money...its about maturity.

Why not just figure this out with the people involved and not a bunch of random internet nerds?
 

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2005
8,392
1
0
Bottom line, this isn't Dave's apartment. If he wants to hang out as Carl's guest when Carl is around, that's fine. Otherwise he needs to GTFO. And fuck no, this isn't his gaypad.
 

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2005
8,392
1
0
its not about money...its about maturity.

Why not just figure this out with the people involved and not a bunch of random internet nerds?

Yeah, because getting objective opinions from people unattached to the situation before starting a potential conflict is stupid :rolleyes:
 

GTaudiophile

Lifer
Oct 24, 2000
29,767
33
81
I think Andy and Bonnie should hire trannies Erica and Fredericka and send them over to Dave's parents house for a little suck and blow show and see how they feel.
 

gophins72

Golden Member
Jul 22, 2005
1,541
0
76
if Carl and Dave have a kid named Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John then tell them to just get their own place, they can afford it.

Otherwise, yeah they should talk about it without anyone getting butt hurt, no pun intended.
 

thepd7

Diamond Member
Jan 2, 2005
9,423
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<snip> ... he's having one of those homosexual orgies!!! Time to invest in some clorox.

Seriously. Don't want to catch "the gay".


for reals player


If you don't have the maturity level to solve this type of problem, you should still be living at home with mommy and daddy

There are standards to follow before posting on ATOT now? We'll have all of 3 posts per year.
 

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
Are you for reals?
unless I had a lock on my bedroom door and absolutely no property in the communal areas, I'd feel extremely uncomfortable having my roommate's significant other and the SO's friends coming and going at will in and out of my apartment.
 

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2005
8,392
1
0
for reals player


If you don't have the maturity level to solve this type of problem, you should still be living at home with mommy and daddy

So says the guy just trying to stir shit up for the sake of it.

Read the OP. He was just wondering if he was overreacting. It's a legitimate question. The longer you "tolerate" a situation, the less objective and the more biased you become, thus compromising your judgment. He didn't come here to ask you how to fix this, he came here asking if he was too sensitive to the circumstances.

You're the one who needs to grow up, 'player'.
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
So says the guy just trying to stir shit up for the sake of it.

Read the OP. He was just wondering if he was overreacting. It's a legitimate question. The longer you "tolerate" a situation, the less objective and the more biased you become, thus compromising your judgment. He didn't come here to ask you how to fix this, he came here asking if he was too sensitive to the circumstances.

You're the one who needs to grow up, 'player'.

but if I did....

then I wouldn't be a toy-r-us kid


I'm not trying to stir anything up. I'm trying to help this guy/kid/whatever realize that the world is never perfect. Learning how to deal with situations is what makes you who you are. If he can't solve a simple problem like this, then he has no chance. He should seek Darwin immediately.
 

HelloWorl

Senior member
Feb 13, 2009
385
0
0
but if I did....

then I wouldn't be a toy-r-us kid


I'm not trying to stir anything up. I'm trying to help this guy/kid/whatever realize that the world is never perfect. Learning how to deal with situations is what makes you who you are. If he can't solve a simple problem like this, then he has no chance. He should seek Darwin immediately.

Thanks for all your advice. You solved my issue. No need for you to return to this thread. Bye.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Setup - 3 people live together. For simplicity we'll call them Andy, Bonnie, and Carl.

-All are three pay rent.

Important...then all have equal say more or less....personally I'd never room with a couple unless they had only one vote. Too much chance for collusion.

-Everyone is about the same age ~30.

Not important

-Andy and Bonnie are dating.

IMHO then what they decide should count as a single vote.

-Carl is dating Dave.

important...Carl has a right to have whomever he is dating over and to have whatever kind of sex and hanging out they do.

Dave is in his early 20's and is home from college for the holidays. Dave's parent's house is about 15/20 mins away.

unimportant.
[/quote]

Situation 1 - Andy, Bonnie, and Carl are out of town. Using a key Carl gave him, Dave comes over after Christmas to hang out and watch TV / play video games / do his laundry.

Personally a significant other should be trusted to have access to a place...

In your opinion, is it normal / OK for Dave come over when the roommates are gone for recreational purposes?

There is no normal/abnormal in this. If it's a lover of one of the roommates then it's not out of the ordinary for them to use a place especially if the other's are away.

In case it matters to you, the couch and TV belong to Andy / Bonnie, but the video game console belongs to Carl. The washing machine and dryer are owned by Andy and Bonnie.

Things like couchs and tv's in a public area are public. You can't have every roommate wanting their couch/their tv out in a family room. Same with appliances. If the game console is hooked up to that main TV then it's also shared.

Situation 2 - Andy and Bonnie come home earlier than Dave was expecting. Dave got permission from Carl (as he is still out of town) to come over the following day to hang out / watch movies / play video games with some friends. Dave now asks Andy and Bonnie if he can still have his get-together.

Seems fair, Dave is doing the right thing...although it's sounding like they came home early purposely now.

Is this asking too much from Andy and Bonnie?

For what? If they have an issue then they should address it. Dave was asking for that reason.

Side note - Dave and his friends smoke. Even when smoking outside the smell comes inside and is quite noticeable. Bonnie has asthma that is triggered by smoke, which makes the situation a little hairier.

What happens outside you can't complain about. As a matter of fact if smoking is allowed per the lease and your roommate smokes it's not their fault someone else has some defect. That should have been hashed out prior to agreeing to become roommates by the person with the defect.


Double side note - Dave is a bit flamboyant which tends to make his laugh a bit louder than average. Watching the TV with friends is a loud experience - both with the sound of the TV and the noise of the watchers.

totally irrelevant.

Obviously I'm a bit perturbed by the situations above, but I want to know if I'm being lame or if Carl / Dave are pushing the roommate code a bit too far.

Well if you aren't Dave, Carl, Bonnie or Andy then you really shouldn't have anything to do with this situation.

What Carl / Dave have done seems typical with anyone that lives in a place of their own/shared.