Question About Roommate's Significant Other

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HelloWorl

Senior member
Feb 13, 2009
385
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Setup - 3 people live together. For simplicity we'll call them Andy, Bonnie, and Carl.
-All are three pay rent.
-Everyone is about the same age ~30.
-Andy and Bonnie are dating.
-Carl is dating Dave. Dave is in his early 20's and is home from college for the holidays. Dave's parent's house is about 15/20 mins away.

Situation 1 - Andy, Bonnie, and Carl are out of town. Using a key Carl gave him, Dave comes over after Christmas to hang out and watch TV / play video games / do his laundry.

In your opinion, is it normal / OK for Dave come over when the roommates are gone for recreational purposes?

In case it matters to you, the couch and TV belong to Andy / Bonnie, but the video game console belongs to Carl. The washing machine and dryer are owned by Andy and Bonnie.


Situation 2 - Andy and Bonnie come home earlier than Dave was expecting. Dave got permission from Carl (as he is still out of town) to come over the following day to hang out / watch movies / play video games with some friends. Dave now asks Andy and Bonnie if he can still have his get-together.

Is this asking too much from Andy and Bonnie?


Side note - Dave and his friends smoke. Even when smoking outside the smell comes inside and is quite noticeable. Bonnie has asthma that is triggered by smoke, which makes the situation a little hairier.

Double side note - Dave is a bit flamboyant which tends to make his laugh a bit louder than average. Watching the TV with friends is a loud experience - both with the sound of the TV and the noise of the watchers.


Obviously I'm a bit perturbed by the situations above, but I want to know if I'm being lame or if Carl / Dave are pushing the roommate code a bit too far.

Thanks.
 
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sygyzy

sygyzy

Lifer
Oct 21, 2000
14,001
4
76
In both situations it is 100% not acceptable for Dave to be over at any time the other roommates, in particular Carl, are not home. I would never have my gf come over to my apt when I am not there, even if my roommates are there. Extremely rude and totally out of line. I assume we are talking early 20's here for this type of stupidity.

The fact that Dave and Carl think this is ok doesn't tell me they are rude, it tells me something is wrong with them mentally.
 
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Dacalo

Diamond Member
Mar 31, 2000
8,778
4
76
sygyzy said:
In both situations it is 100% not acceptable for Dave to be over at any time the other roommates, in particular Carl, are not home. I would never have my gf come over to my apt when I am not there, even if my roommates are there. Extremely rude and totally out of line. I assume we are talking early 20's here for this type of stupidity.

The fact that Dave and Carl think this is ok doesn't tell me they are rude, it tells me something is wrong with them mentally.
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I concur wtf? Furthermore, the fact that Dave smokes while Bonnie has asthma around the premises is a no-no. Let Dave invite his friends at his own place. Carl and Dave = inconsiderate morons. Carl should just let Dave borrow his videogame and let him play at his OWN place. And no, no inviting Dave's friends over wtf.
 
Mike Gayner

Mike Gayner

Diamond Member
Jan 5, 2007
6,175
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Carl should be asking permission from his room mates before allowing Dave to use the house when they're not there. Period.
 
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HomerSapien

Golden Member
Jul 19, 2000
1,756
0
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Since he doesnt pay rent, but is a good friend, give Dave a curfew for his tv watching and let him get the picture of no smoking period. Talk to Carl about these issues when he gets back.
 
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HelloWorl

Senior member
Feb 13, 2009
385
0
0
summit said:
do the 3 split the rent 3 ways or is it andy and bonnie 1/2 and carl 1/2?
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Andy and Bonnie pay $400 each, Carl pays $500. Every appliance (including washing machine and dryer) and furniture item in the place is owned by Andy or Bonnie, except for the microwave.
 
rudeguy

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
Here is my advice...I use it whenever my roommates and I have issues: WE TALK LIKE FUCKING ADULTS.

"Hey would you mind if my boytoy came over while I'm out of town?" Sure as long as he picks up after himself.

"Hey would mind smoking around the corner of the house so the smoke doesn't come in?" No problem.

"hey my butt buddy said I could have a couple people over tonite, I didn't know you would be home so soon. Would you guys like to get in on the gaming action or would you prefer we find somewhere else to hang?" We are kind of tired, would you mind either watching movies or gaming at someone else's house? "No problem"


You see...they key is to be open, honest and polite. No one person is more important than the others. If everyone just talks about these things, its hard for them not to work out.


And pics of Bonnie
 
gorcorps

gorcorps

aka Brandon
Jul 18, 2004
30,741
456
126
Cuda1447 said:
Carl is a douchebag and sounds gay. I don't like Dave either.
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I loled

Anyway, It's not cool for Dave to come by himself without Carl asking permission from the other roommates first. It's absolutely unacceptable for Dave to have other friends over without Carl. If he was just coming by himself I wouldn't feel it's COMPLETELY out of line, but I'd let Carl know he needs to ask everyone first next time.
 
AgaBoogaBoo

AgaBoogaBoo

Lifer
Feb 16, 2003
26,108
5
81
Neither situation is a problem to me. Only thing of concern is the asthma - every one at that apartment signed up fully well knowing the condition and needs to be considerate of it. If there's a problem, take it up with Carl, not his SO.

Maybe I'm just tolerant of others or something though, I don't really care. If this is a very frequent occurrence though, I might not like having less access to the living room.

FWIW, I don't think mentioning the ownership of the couch and everything to matter at all. They're group items the way I see it.

I might just not care too much about these things - they seem like minor things to get worked up on.
 
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