Question about GF making more than you...

[everman]

Good for her. I wouldn't care, I'd rather have a really smart girlfriend who's not afraid of a real career like that as opposed to others..

 

[TheBullGod]

I wouldn't let money, get in the way of love.....

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: Zombie
ok,

I have been going out with this girl for couple months and I have good feeling about it. Now the question is how exactly do you deal with her making more money than you? I mean god she probably makes almost double. At first I thought I would be ok but now I don't know how I would deal with it in long term. She is a pharmacist and me a software eng 🙁. Looking at the market I think I am lucky just to have a job but still how do you guys deal with it?

i think you may need to start looking for a new job if shes making double what you are.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: Zombie
I really don't think she will dump me cause she was at my apartment last night talking about decorating my place and shared closets 😉 and stuff.

The fact is I won't be thinking about it if the difference was 10-20k, we are talking about a difference of close to 50k. It's the number that is bothering me in short term, I know I will match it or surpass it in 3-4 years.

Umm.....

You're a software engineer and you make about $37k/year? There's someone to be upset with, and it's certainly not your woman. $37k is LOOOW even for a junior programmer.

 

[weezergirl]

Better start getting promoted! It's not like you don't have the potential to make more than her...just gotta work harder.

I make more than my bf. He doesn't even work right now! 😛

 

[SOSTrooper]

Maybe she loves being the dominate? Let her run the family, you just need to give her a good one in bed. 😀

 

[Zombie]

You're a software engineer and you make about $37k/year

nope, I make a lot more than 37k and she still beats me by almost 50k.


promotion or trying to find a new job are out of question right now. Anybody with some common sense would know how bad the market is for CS people.

 

[BD2003]

What is the problem? Are you so insecure that you cant deal with your woman making more than you?

It wouldnt bother me a bit. Would you honestly rather have your girl make less than you and therefore have less total income?

 

[Nightfall]

Originally posted by: Zombie
ok,

I have been going out with this girl for couple months and I have good feeling about it. Now the question is how exactly do you deal with her making more money than you? I mean god she probably makes almost double. At first I thought I would be ok but now I don't know how I would deal with it in long term. She is a pharmacist and me a software eng 🙁. Looking at the market I think I am lucky just to have a job but still how do you guys deal with it?

Ok, you are in same boat as I am.

I am a network engineer, and my wife is a pharmasist with a doctorate. She makes 2x-3x more than I do now.

We met when we were in college and poor. We dated for a little over 6 years before we got married. It wasn't until my 4th year of dating her when she graduated and started making money. Not that I am a slouch or anything. I make decent money as well. With our combined incomes and steady jobs, we live a very good life. Money may not buy happiness, but it does make things a lot damn easier. 🙂

Do I have a problem with her making more than I do? Heck no! Our income goes into one bank account and it all spends the same. No problem with that. I don't know what the problem is personally. Maybe some men just have to make more than the woman. The whole "breadwinner" thing. Maybe it has to do with dominance. Who knows.

There is a friend of mine who dated a physical therapist for the Dallas Stars, Mavericks, and a few other pro teams at one point in time. She made over $100,000 a year for part time work. Great job. He was a financial analyst for the federal government and made $55,000 a year full time. He had a bug in his butt about making more than her and it split them apart. They got along great together in almost every other reguard. Isn't that silly? To split up over money?

Just keep on dating her. If the marriage question comes up, then go for it. Don't let money scare you off. It can do nothing but help you because what is yours is hers and what is hers is yours after marriage. 🙂

My advice, keep dating her and if things look right then get married.

 

[Sealy]

Originally posted by: joohang
What specifically is the problem?

If you can't pin-point anything, you are just making your own worries out of nothing.

Exactly! Swallow your male ego...and enjoy the person she is, not how much she makes!🙂

 

[Storm]

She could make 100x more and it would not bother me at all. She would probably be way more stressed than I would and probably work more hours but I would make sure to take care her so the stress doesnt kill her.

 

[habib89]

why would you even care? i don't get it.. i'd love for my girlfriend to make more than me.. then if the relationship were to lead to marriage, i wouldn't have to worry so much about support for my family.. hell.. i could take paternity leave, and play with my kids while she worked.. that'd be so freggin awesome... it's freakin 2003.. get over it

 

[glen]

I was once unemployed and my GF made huge huge money modeling in NY.
It was not even an issue we thought about.

 

[Bullhonkie]

I don't see what the problem is, it's not like people in relationships regularly compete to see who makes more money (at least not any people I know). My girlfriend earns about 95% of our household income and neither of us think anything of it. Doesn't matter who's bringing in how much money as long as we're happy.