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Question about college social life, frats, and stuff

L

LW07

Golden Member
Alright, I've just gone through my first week of being on a college campus, and to be honest its been really tough due to me not knowing anyone except for some of my dorm floor mates and the people from my old HS that have decided to attend the same university as I'm going to.

Well dormwise my floormates like to get together in one of the rooms and play UFC 2009 Undisputed, which i haven't joined in yet, but might do so later on.

I'm also currently part of a christian organization on campus, but am reconsidering whether or not to stay in it or jump to another christian organization since even though i like the people in it, a girl from my high school years who i dislike has joined the organization as well.

I've considered joining a fraternity on college as well, but the whole drinking party thing is repulsive to me and even if i did go it'd probably get old after the first two.

So my questions are as follows:


1. Should i even consider joining a fraternity or should i just attend the free rush events and then pass given the above information?

2. If I do decide to join a fraternity, what does one have to do in order to get accepted on Bid Day?

3. Should i jump ship from my current christian organization to another one due to that one person i dislike or should i just stay in it and just ignore her? The other people are cool, its just that one person i don't like. She doesn't really have a high opinion of me either, and the organization is affiliated with a church that she attended in her HS days.

 
Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer
Ditch the Christian shit and drink more. You'll have way more fun :thumbsup:
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yeah, i wish id loosened up earlier in life but i did stupid, stupid things and now look back with regret.

and im only 26...so for real, get ouf of the religious hum drum boring stuff, go to some parties, laugh it up. in a few years you'll be sorry you missed out on the fun
 
1. Attend the rush events, see if you like the frats. All the frats have different types of people - from bros to nerds. Just remember every frat has fairly steep membership fees (what made me not join)

2. They'll accept you if you're not a socially retarded toolbag and you can get along with people. I was given a bid, but declined because I didn't want to pay the membership fees.

3. Fuck her. Take that as you will. Hang out with people you like - if they get along better with you than her, she'll probably end up jumping ship herself. Simple rules of psychology dictate that in a social group, 2 people who dislike each other in a group will battle until either 1 leaves or they find something to like about each other. Don't be pushed out by 1 person - push that person out.
 
3. Should i jump ship from my current christian organization to another one due to that one person i dislike or should i just stay in it and just ignore her?
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It will be an important exercise being around a person you despise, especially if the feeling is mutual. You will need to be able to handle workmates that you despise till retirement. Do not let the enemy take you away from the others that you enjoy being around. Although it is worth trying out the other church group.

Be kind to said enemies and treat them well, for in doing this, it will seem to them like you are heaping burning coals on their heads.
 
The only reason people go to college is to drink beer every day for 4 years straight.

Then at the end, you get a bill for 10's of thousands of dollars, and a certificate from the school saying you drank beer there for 4 years.
 
This thread is thunderously lol-worthy. But I'll offer some on topic advice. Why stop conforming after high school? Go ahead and drink your way through college.
 
Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante
1. Attend the rush events, see if you like the frats. All the frats have different types of people - from bros to nerds. Just remember every frat has fairly steep membership fees (what made me not join)

2. They'll accept you if you're not a socially retarded toolbag and you can get along with people. I was given a bid, but declined because I didn't want to pay the membership fees.

3. Fuck her. Take that as you will. Hang out with people you like - if they get along better with you than her, she'll probably end up jumping ship herself. Simple rules of psychology dictate that in a social group, 2 people who dislike each other in a group will battle until either 1 leaves or they find something to like about each other. Don't be pushed out by 1 person - push that person out.
Click to expand...

For number 1, the frat i'm looking to join has a $350 initiation fee, a new member fee of $150, a new member due of $100, and a chapter due of $250.

Does that mean that for the next year i'll be paying $850 this semester and $550 the next semester?

For number 2, if they found out I liked Dragonball Z, would that hinder my chances?

Also, for number 3, would the girl try to turn my friends against me in the church group?

 
Hmm, I've lived in a college town my whole life and never knew frats houses charged you to join. What a racket, might as well pay to join the circus. As for points 2 and 3, sources say "Yes."
 
I can't offer any advice on the frats, but

3. Can you just go to both groups for a couple weeks and then decide which you like better?
Don't automatically write some one off because you didn't get along before. I've seen people dramatically change with just a few weeks of college.
Try to find a reason to not dislike her. Unless it's there's some major fast infraction it shouldn't be too hard.
 
Originally posted by: LW07
Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante
1. Attend the rush events, see if you like the frats. All the frats have different types of people - from bros to nerds. Just remember every frat has fairly steep membership fees (what made me not join)

2. They'll accept you if you're not a socially retarded toolbag and you can get along with people. I was given a bid, but declined because I didn't want to pay the membership fees.

3. Fuck her. Take that as you will. Hang out with people you like - if they get along better with you than her, she'll probably end up jumping ship herself. Simple rules of psychology dictate that in a social group, 2 people who dislike each other in a group will battle until either 1 leaves or they find something to like about each other. Don't be pushed out by 1 person - push that person out.
Click to expand...

For number 1, the frat i'm looking to join has a $350 initiation fee, a new member fee of $150, a new member due of $100, and a chapter due of $250.

Does that mean that for the next year i'll be paying $850 this semester and $550 the next semester?

For number 2, if they found out I liked Dragonball Z, would that hinder my chances?

Also, for number 3, would the girl try to turn my friends against me in the church group?
Click to expand...

Uh... about teh DBZ question. You should be as honest about yoruself as possible. If they dont accept you, then it's not a gruop you want to be a part of anyways. You shoudl join a frat that has teh same interests as you do.

Honestly you dont sound like a frat guy and you're probably much more comfortable w/ campus religious groups and making your friends from there. Nothing really wrong w/ it if that's who you are. Just be approachable and try to interact with any many people as you can to get a feel for what you like. Iwouldn't pretend to be someone you're not in order to join anything.
 
Originally posted by: Dorkenstein
Hmm, I've lived in a college town my whole life and never knew frats houses charged you to join. What a racket, might as well pay to join the circus. As for points 2 and 3, sources say "Yes."
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Are you referring to the DBZ and the girl turning my friends against me?

I never did anything drastically mean to the girl, i just was a tool in my high school classes and would constantly act constipated to try to power up like in DBZ and emulate the tusken raider "EH, EH, EH, EH" line from starwars, which annoyed her. Only thing that may have ticked her off was when i deleted her from my facebook friends list a year ago but thats not really too serious.

I just don't want her taking my friends at church and turning them against me. But i guess if that was the case then that would be life culling fake friends from my life.

So i guess it'll be a matter of who quits first?
 
Originally posted by: LW07
So are frats worth joining? And how do you go about being accepted on bid day?
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depends on what you are looking for
I was in a social fraternity while in college and it was a good experience. You have to attend the rush events and see if you'd fit in to the group. Every fraternity is different composed of different values, people, etc. To get a bid, you have to go to the rush events, get to know the bros, and you will attend an interview where they question you. If people like you, they will definitely make the effort to recruit you. Then they will deliberate and decide to give you a bid or not. Then if you get a bid, either you accept or reject, if you accept then the whole pledging experience happens.

college is fun. Joining a fraternity is a once in a lifetime experience and you get an opportunity to meet lifelong friends there. It's really what you make of it. You don't have to rush your freshman year though. You should try your Christian group and see if that's all you need. You can make tons of friends that way too. Then if you decide that a part of your college life is lacking, you can look more into fraternities.

P.S. I paid nearly zero dues so not all fraternities require money. Like I said, all fraternities are different and they also operate differently. Find your fit. Good luck
 
Originally posted by: Mo0o
Originally posted by: LW07
Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante
1. Attend the rush events, see if you like the frats. All the frats have different types of people - from bros to nerds. Just remember every frat has fairly steep membership fees (what made me not join)

2. They'll accept you if you're not a socially retarded toolbag and you can get along with people. I was given a bid, but declined because I didn't want to pay the membership fees.

3. Fuck her. Take that as you will. Hang out with people you like - if they get along better with you than her, she'll probably end up jumping ship herself. Simple rules of psychology dictate that in a social group, 2 people who dislike each other in a group will battle until either 1 leaves or they find something to like about each other. Don't be pushed out by 1 person - push that person out.
Click to expand...

For number 1, the frat i'm looking to join has a $350 initiation fee, a new member fee of $150, a new member due of $100, and a chapter due of $250.

Does that mean that for the next year i'll be paying $850 this semester and $550 the next semester?

For number 2, if they found out I liked Dragonball Z, would that hinder my chances?

Also, for number 3, would the girl try to turn my friends against me in the church group?
Click to expand...

Uh... about teh DBZ question. You should be as honest about yoruself as possible. If they dont accept you, then it's not a gruop you want to be a part of anyways. You shoudl join a frat that has teh same interests as you do.

Honestly you dont sound like a frat guy and you're probably much more comfortable w/ campus religious groups and making your friends from there. Nothing really wrong w/ it if that's who you are. Just be approachable and try to interact with any many people as you can to get a feel for what you like. Iwouldn't pretend to be someone you're not in order to join anything.
Click to expand...

MFFTW

Do not join anything because "its the cool thing to do" I was much the same in your boat my freshman year, its all about finding people with the same interests as you and flipping the bird to everything else. Perhaps try and find a religious oriented fraternity? My college (UC Irvine) had a few. I myself joined a pre-medical fraternity on a whim and it wound up being one of the highlights of my college career. Though the membership dues were a fraction of the ones you indicated.
 
At my college, most frats have all their rush events at the same time, so how do i go about trying out different frats, since i cant be at multiple events at one time?
 
Well, going to a church student group SHOULDN'T be as byzantine and catty as people maneuvering against each other and feuds etc. but if it is, then I would say this is a question only you can answer, really. Good luck to you.
 
Originally posted by: LW07
At my college, most frats have all their rush events at the same time, so how do i go about trying out different frats, since i cant be at multiple events at one time?
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They usually have multiple events so you can miss one. And theres on way you're gonna get to all of them. Most frats table in high traffic areas to promote themselves. You should talk to the people there and ask them about the frat itself. You can get a feel for what kind of members they have.
 
I will say this:

I was never the party type until my 3rd or 4th year of college. I was never too concerned with making friends or meeting new people, simply because my best friends (from junior high+high school) lived anywhere between 10 minutes to an hour away, so to go drink and party with them was never too hard to do. Eventually I made some good friends around campus and started partying with them and just started getting out more. I'm not the anti-social type or anything, either. I just never felt like doing much of anything. This is where beer comes in. Once I've got a few beers in me, I become an extremely social person. I'll stop and make conversation with people I don't even know once I've got a good buzz going.

In short: Beer makes your social life better. Embrace it early in your college career.
 
Beer consumption does not = better social life. Beer consumption = less inhibitions. However, if less inhibitions = better social life, then yes... beer consumption may eventually = better social life.
 
One thing i have heard about frats is that you're just paying for friends, is that a true statement? And about the whole bid thing, is one pretty much guarenteed a bid if they go to a rush event and ask questions about the fraternity?
 
Originally posted by: LW07
One thing i have heard about frats is that you're just paying for friends, is that a true statement? And about the whole bid thing, is one pretty much guarenteed a bid if they go to a rush event and ask questions about the fraternity?
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no you are not guaranteed a bid if you just attend the rush events and ask questions. They have to see that you will be a good fit and that you bring something to the table.

Some fraternities are selective, some aren't.
 
one of the frats i'm looking at has just started their chapter at my campus last year and they say you'll become a "founding father" if you successfully join.

Would that frat be very selective in that case?

Another frat i'm considering is Sigma Phi Epsilon(abbreviated SigEp), for those who have heard of it, are they generally selective, or are they one where you just hand them the dough and join?
 
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