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PSA - your jokes to the pizza delivery guy are *NOT* funny

DrPizza

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
I work once a week at the pizza shop. I avoid deliveries as much as I can. I hate delivering to people who can only be characterized as "fvcktards" about 50% of the time... not oddly, since I considered about 50% of the population as a whole to fit that description.

Anyway, I'll be walking toward a house and if there's anyone within a distance that can only be described as slightly less than a bazillion miles, or within shouting distance - whichever is shorter - they think they're funny by yelling "Hey, that pizza's mine, but they're going to pay for it." Why does the site of a pizza delivery guy turn people into such morons?

I'd guess that at least 1/3 of the deliveries I take during the daytime on nice days when people are outdoors, I'm plagued by some such comment that I've heard 10,000 times before: "You can deliver that over here!" "Pizza duuuuude!" "Hey, have any free samples?" Generally followed by a laugh quite similar to Barney Rubble's laugh... "hih hih hih hih." You are *NOT* funny.
 
Would playing porno music when the door opened be appropriate? I've been looking for a reason to get a wah pedal.
 
Originally posted by: Siva
Would playing porno music when the door opened be appropriate? I've been looking for a reason to get a wah pedal.
Click to expand...
Complete with tissue in hand and unbuttoned pants.
 
Hey, atleast they're being fun and playful....what wrong with that? They could be rude and just a$$holes to you. :-/
 
If you delivered pizza to my house, this would be the routine:

1. You ring the doorbell
2. I come up open the door
3. I take the pizza, say thank you, and give you money + tip
4. You start leaving and I close the door.
5. Leaves me a happy camper with pizza, and my tips are usually not too bad either 🙂
 
Originally posted by: neonerd
If you delivered pizza to my house, this would be the routine:

1. You ring the doorbell
2. I come up open the door
3. I take the pizza, say thank you, and give you money + tip
4. You start leaving and I close the door.
5. Leaves me a happy camper with pizza, and my tips are usually not too bad either 🙂
Click to expand...

Same. Usually 3-5 buck tip and the order is always 17.76. It's always 4 or 5 bucks if the person is young or can't speak english.
 
Originally posted by: aplefka
Originally posted by: neonerd
If you delivered pizza to my house, this would be the routine:

1. You ring the doorbell
2. I come up open the door
3. I take the pizza, say thank you, and give you money + tip
4. You start leaving and I close the door.
5. Leaves me a happy camper with pizza, and my tips are usually not too bad either 🙂
Click to expand...

Same. Usually 3-5 buck tip and the order is always 17.76. It's always 4 or 5 bucks if the person is young or can't speak english.
Click to expand...

It's not the people who order who make the comments... it's their ghetto neighbors sitting on the front porch with a 40 in a paper bag...
 
Originally posted by: her209
Originally posted by: Siva
Would playing porno music when the door opened be appropriate? I've been looking for a reason to get a wah pedal.
Click to expand...
Complete with tissue in hand and unbuttoned pants.
Click to expand...

I just nearly fell out of my chair laughing. :evil:
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: aplefka
Originally posted by: neonerd
If you delivered pizza to my house, this would be the routine:

1. You ring the doorbell
2. I come up open the door
3. I take the pizza, say thank you, and give you money + tip
4. You start leaving and I close the door.
5. Leaves me a happy camper with pizza, and my tips are usually not too bad either 🙂
Click to expand...

Same. Usually 3-5 buck tip and the order is always 17.76. It's always 4 or 5 bucks if the person is young or can't speak english.
Click to expand...

It's not the people who order who make the comments... it's their ghetto neighbors sitting on the front porch with a 40 in a paper bag...
Click to expand...

What are you really trying to say DrPizza? :evil:
 
I always tip good too...

and i meet them outside the door so they don't have to be
scared of my barking dog 🙂

I hope they apreciate it!
 
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: aplefka
Originally posted by: neonerd
If you delivered pizza to my house, this would be the routine:

1. You ring the doorbell
2. I come up open the door
3. I take the pizza, say thank you, and give you money + tip
4. You start leaving and I close the door.
5. Leaves me a happy camper with pizza, and my tips are usually not too bad either 🙂
Click to expand...

Same. Usually 3-5 buck tip and the order is always 17.76. It's always 4 or 5 bucks if the person is young or can't speak english.
Click to expand...

It's not the people who order who make the comments... it's their ghetto neighbors sitting on the front porch with a 40 in a paper bag...
Click to expand...

What are you really trying to say DrPizza? :evil:
Click to expand...

Guess he is irked that they don't offer him one
 
We made a pizza guy crack up once.

Every time we would order chinese and the delivery guy would come to the house, someone would "meow" like a cat insinuating that we were about to eat cat. The delivery guy would be clueless. Once a pizza guy came to the door and we were being drunk asses and started meowing. My buddy that answered the door turned around and yelled at us, "GOD DAMNIT STOP MEOWING, IT'S NOT CHINESE FOOD THIS TIME".

The pizza guy laughed for a solid 5 minutes at our door.
 
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