PSA-To all you prospective parents out there...

[GasX]

My son is about to turn 1. I think he has spent the entire night in our bed maybe twice. Occasionally, we let him fall asleep in bed with us, but I will carry him to his room when he is asleep. If he wakes up during the night, it is a judgement call as to whether or not to bring him into our room. If it is nearly 6am or after, it is a yes. Otherwise it is a no unless Mom and Dad are absolutely exhausted and can't bear with the getting him back to sleep process.

I think the OP is taking an extreme view, but I think it is based on seeing the extreme situation in the other direction...

 

[dainthomas]

My wife allowed this for about the first two months. I finally put my foot down because I could see where this was heading (her sister has let all her kids sleep in their bed until four or five). No way I am playing that game. Adults have their room and kids have theirs. I value my marriage too much to allow it to suffer for something as unnecessary as that.

 

[SirStev0]

you know what is even wierder... parents that never ween their kids.

 

[Parrotheader]

 

[davew0670]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
This seemed painfully obvious to me after my son was born but oddly enough I know many people whose children sleep in their bed with them every night. Hell, even our son's pediatrician lets her two kids sleep in their bed...kind of takes her down a notch in credability IMO.

Anyway, I've talked to friends whose wives are pregnant and told them to be firm on this. If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers...trust me on this. I've seen it over and over again.

Be very firm on this guys. Just an FYI.

must be killing the ole sex life.

hopefully

 

[musha shugyo]

This only goes to further my view that children are babied too much.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: musha shugyo
This only goes to further my view that children are babied too much.

you wont ever have to worry about procreating luckily for everyone else.

 

[djheater]

What I like about the OP is that it's incendiary without given any meaningful reasons whatsoever. It's classic flamebait. Well done, OP, well done.

Yep, we're family bed AND extended nursing. My oldest breastfed till about three, and the 5 year old still wanders into our room in the middle of the night quite frequently, where she's welcome.
Of the available parenting styles I choose attachment parenting, and my kids are better behaved than most because of it.

~~edit
With certain exceptions as noted, my kid are like Bryophyte's. That middle kid is a sleep wanderer, I'm not surprised she ends up in our bed. The oldest (now 9) had her own bedroom about two, and completely stopped sleeping with us ever, by about 6. Only my two year old makes a fuss about bed time, the other two have no problems, and the middle one always starts off in her own bed.

 

[Rapidskies]

I was allowed to sleeps in my moms and dads bed until I was 14. Once I started to develops my animlistic tendancies I was told to move to my rooms. I turned out fines.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

I'm still letting our kids sleep in bed with us.

Thanks anyway OP.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: spidey07
Completely agree. You have to nip that stuff in the bud.

Got a few friends in this predicament. They can't get the kid out of their bed, and the kids are like 5-6 years old. The excuse is "well they don't sleep well in their own beds".

No crap. Maybe if you hadn't enabled this behavior from birth you would be in this position!

My point exactly. I don't want my kids in our bed with us when we're sleeping. The few times it has happened I didn't sleep as well because he's moving around or kicking the covers off or he just won't go to sleep.

No thanks. I don't think it's a good way to raise a child.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
My point exactly. I don't want my kids in our bed with us when we're sleeping. The few times it has happened I didn't sleep as well because he's moving around or kicking the covers off or he just won't go to sleep.

No thanks. I don't think it's a good way to raise a child.

It's not. These friends also have other "issues" with their children - they won't eat when they are told, can't interact with other children unless their parents are around, they demand constant attention and are a total PITA. Basically they are 6 year old infants. The parents have essentially ruined these kids.

Yeah I know, not nice to tell other people how to raise their kids. We don't say it to their face, but everybody talks about it and just rolls their eyes in a "stop letting your kids sleep with you dummy!" kind of way. It's to the point that friends are starting to call them on it a little bit when they complain about their kids behavior. As soon as they start complaining somebody chimes in "well you know you do need to get them out of your bed, that would be a start."

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
My point exactly. I don't want my kids in our bed with us when we're sleeping. The few times it has happened I didn't sleep as well because he's moving around or kicking the covers off or he just won't go to sleep.

No thanks. I don't think it's a good way to raise a child.

It's not. These friends also have other "issues" with their children - they won't eat when they are told, can't interact with other children unless their parents are around, they demand constant attention and are a total PITA. Basically they are 6 year old infants. The parents have essentially ruined these kids.

Yeah I know, not nice to tell other people how to raise their kids. We don't say it to their face, but everybody talks about it and just rolls their eyes in a "stop letting your kids sleep with you dummy!" kind of way. It's to the point that friends are starting to call them on it a little bit when they complain about their kids behavior. As soon as they start complaining somebody chimes in "well you know you do need to get them out of your bed, that would be a start."

Yes, and logic would tell you that sleeping in the same bed is the only possible cause for their bad behavior.

 

[40sTheme]

Originally posted by: Leros

My mom is still kind of weirdly emotionally attached to me. I think its some kind of disorder, but I could be wrong.

She could just be your mom.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Yes, and logic would tell you that sleeping in the same bed is the only possible cause for their bad behavior.

No logic says that it's a bad idea. It shows deeper problems than just the letting them sleep in the bed (but that's where it starts...like I said, a 6 year old infant). It's just a sign of bad parenting that leaches into other aspects of their development. Saying that this is "OK!" is yet another sign of bad parenting skills. But at least this one can be stopped.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
My point exactly. I don't want my kids in our bed with us when we're sleeping. The few times it has happened I didn't sleep as well because he's moving around or kicking the covers off or he just won't go to sleep.

No thanks. I don't think it's a good way to raise a child.

It's not. These friends also have other "issues" with their children - they won't eat when they are told, can't interact with other children unless their parents are around, they demand constant attention and are a total PITA. Basically they are 6 year old infants. The parents have essentially ruined these kids.

Yeah I know, not nice to tell other people how to raise their kids. We don't say it to their face, but everybody talks about it and just rolls their eyes in a "stop letting your kids sleep with you dummy!" kind of way. It's to the point that friends are starting to call them on it a little bit when they complain about their kids behavior. As soon as they start complaining somebody chimes in "well you know you do need to get them out of your bed, that would be a start."

Yes, and logic would tell you that sleeping in the same bed is the only possible cause for their bad behavior.

Well, I don't think it's normal for adults to want to sleep with their children. I love my son very much but quite honestly it's a real PITA having him in our bed at night. I don't want him there. My wife seems to mind less which is why I've had to put my foot down on this issue a few times.

Our pediatrician has even said to us that if she had it to do over again she wouldn't have allowed her children to sleep in their bed.

Do you really want your child sleeping in your bed with you every night for 5-6 or more years?

Everyone I've passed this information on to has thanked me for it. A simple thank you will suffice.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: BigJ
I didn't read anything in his post about infants. I think he was talking about once kids are old enough to get up out of their beds and try to climb into yours.

He said young children. I think kids under 18 months are "young children". In another post, he said "My son has been sleeping in his own bedroom since he was 3 months old and started sleeping through the night. Prior to that he was in a basinet in our bedroom but never in our bed...well, on a few occasions my wife let him sleep with us and it took us a good week to break him of that habit the few times we allowed it. Nope, my bed is for my wife and I."

My wife is a big softy. We've had a few times where she let him sleep with us and I had to put a stop to it before it escalated into him sleeping with us every night. This has happened a few times since he turned 2 and could climb out of his crib.

Go ahead and attack me for this but I think it's worth mentioning to those who are going to have children. You might want to take some of your own advice and "Quit trying to come off as some great parenting expert when you only have experience with YOUR children."

 

[preslove]

I've known plenty of parents who have done cosleeping early on and had no problems transitioning the kids to their own bedroom. On the other hand, my sister's kid was immediately put in her own bedroom and usually takes forever to go to sleep (it takes several story books and she can be very cranky).

You haven't presented a very good case for a causal relationship.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: preslove
I've known plenty of parents who have done cosleeping early on and had no problems transitioning the kids to their own bedroom. On the other hand, my sister's kid was immediately put in her own bedroom and usually takes forever to go to sleep (it takes several story books and she can be very cranky).

You haven't presented a very good case for a causal relationship.

All posters opposing co-sleeping have so far only reported anecdotal info, without any reason. They're taking a current socially held norm and standing behind that alone as the measure of validity.
I considered the options and couldn't find a good reason not to use a family bed, I cherish the intimacy and opportunity to physically interact with my kids.
The majority of cultures in the world cohabit in various forms, it is non-standard to expect children under five to sleep alone.

article

search the researcher's names from the article for more info, particularly Morelli for co-sleeping info.

 

[miniMUNCH]

My son won't go to sleep if he sleeping with us. He loves his crib and loves going to sleep for naps and especially at night.

He literally "dives" out of my arms for the crib when I put him to bed.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: miniMUNCH
My son won't go to sleep if he sleeping with us. He loves his crib and loves going to sleep for naps and especially at night.

He literally "dives" out of my arms for the crib when I put him to bed.

Let me be clear, I advocate family-bed, because, when implemented correctly it can be a shared joyful experience, however, I don't think it's the "right" thing for everyone, I don't believe in a "right" thing for everyone.
Some kids love thier cribs, and some want their own bed by two, by all means they should have them. Whatever works best for all involved, IMO.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: BigJ
I didn't read anything in his post about infants. I think he was talking about once kids are old enough to get up out of their beds and try to climb into yours.

He said young children. I think kids under 18 months are "young children". In another post, he said "My son has been sleeping in his own bedroom since he was 3 months old and started sleeping through the night. Prior to that he was in a basinet in our bedroom but never in our bed...well, on a few occasions my wife let him sleep with us and it took us a good week to break him of that habit the few times we allowed it. Nope, my bed is for my wife and I."

My wife is a big softy. We've had a few times where she let him sleep with us and I had to put a stop to it before it escalated into him sleeping with us every night. This has happened a few times since he turned 2 and could climb out of his crib.

Go ahead and attack me for this but I think it's worth mentioning to those who are going to have children. You might want to take some of your own advice and "Quit trying to come off as some great parenting expert when you only have experience with YOUR children."

Point out to me in my posts above where I said anything about how people SHOULD raise their children. You can't, because I didn't. I stated my experiences with my kids to refute the absurd claims you made in your OP, then went on to say that every family is different and what works for one won't work for all. I finished by saying that your experiences don't make you an expert on any children but your own, so you should stop telling people how to raise their children, and just tell them your experiences if they ask on a particular subject.

I haven't attacked ANYONE for how they choose to deal with their own children, only your one-size-fits-all mentality, your laughable claims ("If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers") and your overbearing attitude toward other people's childrearing. Like I said, what worked for you and your wife is what worked for you and your wife. Your experiences and problems with your toddler climbing out of his crib and trying to sleep with you are your own and are not indicative of all other people's experiences. It's a YMMV thing. I coslept with my babies and they did not get out of bed at all after they went to their own beds at 15-18 months. You try to sound like an expert on the subject, yet who is it who has had problems with kids getting out of bed in the night? I haven't. Does that mean that I think everyone should cosleep? Nope. Do I go around telling my pregnant friends that they should be firm with their husbands about having to cosleep with their infants? Of course not. I don't presume that it's any of my business unless they ask me how we did it. I don't bring up the subject at all.

Cliffnotes:
Quit twisting my words.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: BigJ
I didn't read anything in his post about infants. I think he was talking about once kids are old enough to get up out of their beds and try to climb into yours.

He said young children. I think kids under 18 months are "young children". In another post, he said "My son has been sleeping in his own bedroom since he was 3 months old and started sleeping through the night. Prior to that he was in a basinet in our bedroom but never in our bed...well, on a few occasions my wife let him sleep with us and it took us a good week to break him of that habit the few times we allowed it. Nope, my bed is for my wife and I."

My wife is a big softy. We've had a few times where she let him sleep with us and I had to put a stop to it before it escalated into him sleeping with us every night. This has happened a few times since he turned 2 and could climb out of his crib.

Go ahead and attack me for this but I think it's worth mentioning to those who are going to have children. You might want to take some of your own advice and "Quit trying to come off as some great parenting expert when you only have experience with YOUR children."

Point out to me in my posts above where I said anything about how people SHOULD raise their children. You can't, because I didn't. I stated my experiences with my kids to refute the absurd claims you made in your OP, then went on to say that every family is different and what works for one won't work for all. I finished by saying that your experiences don't make you an expert on any children but your own, so you should stop telling people how to raise their children, and just tell them your experiences if they ask on a particular subject.

I haven't attacked ANYONE for how they choose to deal with their own children, only your one-size-fits-all mentality, your laughable claims ("If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers") and your overbearing attitude toward other people's childrearing. Like I said, what worked for you and your wife is what worked for you and your wife. Your experiences and problems with your toddler climbing out of his crib and trying to sleep with you are your own and are not indicative of all other people's experiences. It's a YMMV thing. I coslept with my babies and they did not get out of bed at all after they went to their own beds at 15-18 months. You try to sound like an expert on the subject, yet who is it who has had problems with kids getting out of bed in the night? I haven't. Does that mean that I think everyone should cosleep? Nope. Do I go around telling my pregnant friends that they should be firm with their husbands about having to cosleep with their infants? Of course not. I don't presume that it's any of my business unless they ask me how we did it. I don't bring up the subject at all.

Cliffnotes:
Quit twisting my words.

Oh no, you're not attacking me...:roll:

Of course it's just my opinion. I never stated that I was an expert...last I knew this wasn't a fvcking forum full of parents seeking advice on how to raise children. I was merely pointing out some observations based on, yes, my own experience and of those I've met who are parents. People post here all the time with opinions on various topics. That's why it's called OFF TOPIC...

Some people here agree with me, some don't. I don't really care.

Oh and I don't go around telling my friends how to raise their children. If they ask me or if it comes up in conversation then of course I'll tell them the same thing I said here. So please, stop grinding my nuts about this and get off your high horse.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Point out to me in my posts above where I said anything about how people SHOULD raise their children. You can't, because I didn't. I stated my experiences with my kids to refute the absurd claims you made in your OP, then went on to say that every family is different and what works for one won't work for all. I finished by saying that your experiences don't make you an expert on any children but your own, so you should stop telling people how to raise their children, and just tell them your experiences if they ask on a particular subject.

I haven't attacked ANYONE for how they choose to deal with their own children, only your one-size-fits-all mentality, your laughable claims ("If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers") and your overbearing attitude toward other people's childrearing. Like I said, what worked for you and your wife is what worked for you and your wife. Your experiences and problems with your toddler climbing out of his crib and trying to sleep with you are your own and are not indicative of all other people's experiences. It's a YMMV thing. I coslept with my babies and they did not get out of bed at all after they went to their own beds at 15-18 months. You try to sound like an expert on the subject, yet who is it who has had problems with kids getting out of bed in the night? I haven't. Does that mean that I think everyone should cosleep? Nope. Do I go around telling my pregnant friends that they should be firm with their husbands about having to cosleep with their infants? Of course not. I don't presume that it's any of my business unless they ask me how we did it. I don't bring up the subject at all.

Cliffnotes:
Quit twisting my words.

Oh no, you're not attacking me...:roll:

Of course it's just my opinion. I never stated that I was an expert...last I knew this wasn't a fvcking forum full of parents seeking advice on how to raise children. I was merely pointing out some observations based on, yes, my own experience and of those I've met who are parents. People post here all the time with opinions on various topics. That's why it's called OFF TOPIC...

Some people here agree with me, some don't. I don't really care.

Oh and I don't go around telling my friends how to raise their children. If they ask me or if it comes up in conversation then of course I'll tell them the same thing I said here. So please, stop grinding my nuts about this and get off your high horse.

Read the two highlighted statements. I didn't say I didn't attack your OP. I did. I found the claims you made to be ignorant. djheater is correct, your post was classic flamebait.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Point out to me in my posts above where I said anything about how people SHOULD raise their children. You can't, because I didn't. I stated my experiences with my kids to refute the absurd claims you made in your OP, then went on to say that every family is different and what works for one won't work for all. I finished by saying that your experiences don't make you an expert on any children but your own, so you should stop telling people how to raise their children, and just tell them your experiences if they ask on a particular subject.

I haven't attacked ANYONE for how they choose to deal with their own children, only your one-size-fits-all mentality, your laughable claims ("If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers") and your overbearing attitude toward other people's childrearing. Like I said, what worked for you and your wife is what worked for you and your wife. Your experiences and problems with your toddler climbing out of his crib and trying to sleep with you are your own and are not indicative of all other people's experiences. It's a YMMV thing. I coslept with my babies and they did not get out of bed at all after they went to their own beds at 15-18 months. You try to sound like an expert on the subject, yet who is it who has had problems with kids getting out of bed in the night? I haven't. Does that mean that I think everyone should cosleep? Nope. Do I go around telling my pregnant friends that they should be firm with their husbands about having to cosleep with their infants? Of course not. I don't presume that it's any of my business unless they ask me how we did it. I don't bring up the subject at all.

Cliffnotes:
Quit twisting my words.

Oh no, you're not attacking me...:roll:

Of course it's just my opinion. I never stated that I was an expert...last I knew this wasn't a fvcking forum full of parents seeking advice on how to raise children. I was merely pointing out some observations based on, yes, my own experience and of those I've met who are parents. People post here all the time with opinions on various topics. That's why it's called OFF TOPIC...

Some people here agree with me, some don't. I don't really care.

Oh and I don't go around telling my friends how to raise their children. If they ask me or if it comes up in conversation then of course I'll tell them the same thing I said here. So please, stop grinding my nuts about this and get off your high horse.

Read the two highlighted statements. I didn't say I didn't attack your OP. I did. I found the claims you made to be ignorant. djheater is correct, your post was classic flamebait.

Fvck you and your condescending attitude. I was not trying to start a god damned flamefest. :|