Anyone who has ever visited a hospital emergency room knows how crowded and hectic they can be, and how long they have to wait to be seen. I'd like to take this time to point out some things that would help relieve this situation. None of the following require a trip to the E.R.
1.) You got punched in the eye and it swelled up? That's what we in the medical profession like to call a black eye. You can come on in, waste your time and money, and get a pack of ice and some tylenol, or you can sit at home, drink some beer and let time heal you wound. It's a black eye, my little sister got one and was laughing about it.
2.) You ate some spicy food and you think it caused you to have a heart attack? So you walked your way out of the Las Palmas your were eating at, hopped in your car, and drove down to our beautiful hospital all while having this heart attack? Wonderful, most people would call 911. Now, you can pay your co-pay and wait in line, but I'm pretty sure that it's just heartburn (sometimes caused by spicy foods *GASP*). Take a Pepcid and get the hell out of here.
3.) You're double-jointed and you popped your arm out of your socket and right back in. You thought you were the only one in the world who could do this and quickly rushed down to the hospital to have it recorded so you can become famous. If I were in charge I would rip your arm off, unfortunately I'm not. However, it is quite funny to see the attending ER doc show you that he can do the same thing, then laugh as you run out of the building in shame. Please, come every Tuesdays around 9PM...I'm on break and I need a laugh.
For those who actually do belong in the hospital, I thought I might clear something up that will leave me in a better mood, and that will transfer to you. Yes, I'm in scrubs. Yes, people yell orders at me all night long. I am their bitch. This does not make me your bitch. I will not go get your coffee, run to the store for you, massage your feet, or perform any type of monologue with you. Please don't ask. Just because I can't be an ass directly to you doesn't mean I can't find some way to make your life a living hell.
Remember these simple things and you'll be my best friend.
1.) You got punched in the eye and it swelled up? That's what we in the medical profession like to call a black eye. You can come on in, waste your time and money, and get a pack of ice and some tylenol, or you can sit at home, drink some beer and let time heal you wound. It's a black eye, my little sister got one and was laughing about it.
2.) You ate some spicy food and you think it caused you to have a heart attack? So you walked your way out of the Las Palmas your were eating at, hopped in your car, and drove down to our beautiful hospital all while having this heart attack? Wonderful, most people would call 911. Now, you can pay your co-pay and wait in line, but I'm pretty sure that it's just heartburn (sometimes caused by spicy foods *GASP*). Take a Pepcid and get the hell out of here.
3.) You're double-jointed and you popped your arm out of your socket and right back in. You thought you were the only one in the world who could do this and quickly rushed down to the hospital to have it recorded so you can become famous. If I were in charge I would rip your arm off, unfortunately I'm not. However, it is quite funny to see the attending ER doc show you that he can do the same thing, then laugh as you run out of the building in shame. Please, come every Tuesdays around 9PM...I'm on break and I need a laugh.
For those who actually do belong in the hospital, I thought I might clear something up that will leave me in a better mood, and that will transfer to you. Yes, I'm in scrubs. Yes, people yell orders at me all night long. I am their bitch. This does not make me your bitch. I will not go get your coffee, run to the store for you, massage your feet, or perform any type of monologue with you. Please don't ask. Just because I can't be an ass directly to you doesn't mean I can't find some way to make your life a living hell.
Remember these simple things and you'll be my best friend.
Facebook
Twitter