my brothers and i are moving her out, she has no family here, moved from oklahoma for me, sweet eh?
ill be buying new locks before she goes and changing them when she does. we have a personal loan in our name, she has agreed to take this on, but im going to ask the bank if that can be switched to just her name, or what we need to do. ill be opening new bank acocunts in my name.
thank you for the advice.
Originally posted by: Shame
No you can't.
not sure
she likely wouldnt have the person over while im here, and i wont be staying elsewhere anymore now that i know she has no hangups about inviting guys over when im gone. its my place, not hers, and sure as hell not theirs. if we fight she can go sleep in a tree for all i care, im not going out again like that.
Let me second what Shame said. I was monumentally stupid and left for a while to let my now ex move out. Stick around close, take pics of everything and hide anything you value regardless of what it costs. If you value it, it will be gone when you get back.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
If her name's on the title she's got some rights and if shew helped with the mortgage she'sd also got a fiscal interest as well.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
damn you are hard. You going to beat him? You need to get over it. If you are still emotionally attached you are going to lose or be the 'insane' one. BTW why shouldn't she be moving on...I would, it's obviously over.
Anyway I really doubt a bank will release you from a 'personal' loan.
Making a new account is the smart thing...transfer the whole balance.
beat?
wait, no, i meant if me and her have a fight, argument, wrong choice of words.
im not bitter, well, you know i probably am, but its not that shes seeing someone that makes me want him not here...its that she wants to stay here, and have *me* help her move, and have ME help HER pay for things to get her in an apartment, and have another man come over at 1 in the morning. my house. got it? mine. ours, fine, ours...which means half mine, and that means if i dont want a total fecking stranger in here (and this, btw, was the FIRST time she met the guy) i expect thats not too unreasonable.
she can see whoever she wants elsewhere, i dont care, but im uncomfortable with a strange guy in my house when im not here, even more so when my kids are sleeping in the next room. it just kinda bugs me, meh :/
ya know... legal or not legal... i think it sucks that anyone would bring a new 'partner' into the marital home.... before the physical separation has taken place. that to me shows extreme disrespect. for the home, the kids and themseves.
mostly, i am sorry that you are gonna split your kids up... that has to be heartbreaking for you and for them.
i hope it all works out.
mostly, i am sorry that you are gonna split your kids up... that has to be heartbreaking for you and for them.
i hope it all works out.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
well as an adult she can decide what's right for herself. The whole having a stranger around the kids thing is a relationship cliche. Some have no problem casually dating around thier kids, others go months before introductions are made.
It's really a matter of opinion and the clash here is more than likely similar to other things not seen eye to eye on.
Fact is no one is wrong and no one is right. It's just accepting and not accepting things.
1) Plant some drugs in his pants and car
2) Call police and say man acting violent, may be on drugs (police escort this unwanted person from your home to local jail)
3) File for child support.... note to the judge how ex-wife dates violent criminals she barely knows which could jeopardize the safety of the children
4) Win child custody, collect child support and keep both kids together
5) Play the single father taking care of his 2 children role (women love responsible caring men)
6) Land hot chick
7) Problems solved, drink a beer
2) Call police and say man acting violent, may be on drugs (police escort this unwanted person from your home to local jail)
3) File for child support.... note to the judge how ex-wife dates violent criminals she barely knows which could jeopardize the safety of the children
4) Win child custody, collect child support and keep both kids together
5) Play the single father taking care of his 2 children role (women love responsible caring men)
6) Land hot chick
7) Problems solved, drink a beer
I agree with Geekbabeon this. If she's been paying half of the mortgage for four years, or however long, then she has invested into that house. Before it's 'yours', you owe it to her to buy her out of what she's invested. Now, if you are helping her financially to get into a new apt, that part should come out of what she's paid into the house. To be fair, a detailed list should be written up and then amounts figured for each of you.
Of course, most of the time divorces become just a tug of war with both parties 'taking all he/she can get'.
Best wishes for all of you, especially the children.
Yes. Too many have overlooked this. They are so young.
When my parents split, I was the oldest. For my HS years, I lived with my dad. But they would never split my younger siblings ... and sometimes, even though it was only 4 years, I wonder about me leaving ...
I think the cops have better things to do than break up minor disputes such as this. This type of dispute should be done with heads/tails.
FIXED
oh, and just talk to her about not having guys over with the kids around. If you're helping her move out, it's obvious you guys are still on speaking terms. If she doesn't understand, let her know about the whole sleeping in tree thing.
understatment of the year..
if your too much of a pansey ass to tell your wife how you really feel... and shes not willing to budge on her end.. then divorce now...
we are separating, ive said it in this thread iirc. anyway, as for the home, im putting vinyl siding on it (we bought that together) and plan on doing some painting and selling the place soon, we'll be getting together some paperwork and plan on splitting whatever we have after the mortgage is paid off together.
the bitch is that my dad co-signed on the loan for us and had the nerve to tell me, after not paying for the place btw, that he expects a third of the money after the mortgage because hes helped me do some work around the place...evil greedy bastard. can i refi and get his name off the loan to make sure he cant get into this?
may get to keep the kids together after all, my mother got back in town last night and said her and my brother could probably help watch them, still alot of stuff to sort out, talked to the wife and i dont think shell be having anyone over again...because i told her every moment i have off work until she moves out, ill be home and she can get over it.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
You should set him up with your wife apparently maybe they are in cohoots. You can refi but he'd have to sign a deed to release himself on ownership. Your Note is the ownership of the property, the Mortgage/Deed of Trust is the repayment of it....they can both have different parties. If you are ever doing this again, do not allow a cosignor on the Note/Title.
Parent's try this same deal, I banged a few girls in the same parent's beds. Don't play games like that...just let her do what's she's going to do. You will just look like the retard when they do stuff behind your back.
If she knows you haven't given up, she profits!
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