property rights question

[xSauronx]

im not going to get into it all right now, but lets say my wife has someone over that i loathe, and she wants the person to stick around.

i dont, and am willing to call the police to have them taken off my property....can i do that? will it do any good? or am i screwed because my wifes name is on everything too, and she wants the person to stay?

 

[Ornery]

You'd probably have to say they threatened you to accomplish your goal.

 

[imported_Mike]

details are almost required here....you want someone gone so bad that you would call the police to have them removed but your wife doesn't care and wants them to stay? In-laws? Mother-in-law?

 

[amcdonald]

I'm not sure on the question, but why the fvck is the situation even possible?
It's bad enough to where you'd call the cops to intervene?

 

[Rastus]

Sounds like your marriage is in serious trouble.

 

[Ornery]

t's bad enough to where you'd call the cops to intervene?

Much smarter than taking matters into your own hands, which could turn VERY violent. Too much at stake to risk, especially when you're paying taxes to have things like this taken care of. If the cops have to manhandle them, it isn't your problem, or potential lawsuit.

 

[amcdonald]

Originally posted by: Ornery
t's bad enough to where you'd call the cops to intervene?

Much smarter than taking matters into your own hands, which could turn VERY violent. Too much at stake to risk, especially when you're paying taxes to have things like this taken care of. If the cops have to manhandle them, it isn't your problem, or potential lawsuit.

Yea, I understand that much, I'm saying, is the situation between him and his wife bad enough that he can't talk her into getting this person to leave or not be there in the first place out of respect.

 

[Ornery]

That brings up Rastus' post: Sounds like your marriage is in serious trouble.

 

[TNshadows]

More info please,
Why would this "person" even want to stay if you (or your wife) does not want them to? If by chance this "person" is not a close family member "inlaw,bro/sister" then you might want to be getting legal advice on who gets the color tv.....sorry dude.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: amcdonald
I'm not sure on the question, but why the fvck is the situation even possible?
It's bad enough to where you'd call the cops to intervene?

yes, were splitting up, im keeping the house, i dont want stranger fvcks over when my kids are around. she can meet other people thats her thing, i dont want them in my place near my kids, and id definitely call the police to have some stranger she barely knows removed from my property if theyre around.

 

[imported_Mike]

Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

 

[AnyMal]

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

 

[Caminetto]

The short answer without knowing NC law is that marriage carries with it some joint ownership in most states.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

shes found an apartment, cant move in for a week and a half. im keeping one of the kids. shes also not paying me anything for the next two weeks shes staying here because she needs money to get some furniture, i would have thought she could have at least kept men she barely knows out of my place for that long.

 

[AnyMal]

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

shes found an apartment, cant move in for a week and a half. im keeping one of the kids. shes also not paying me anything for the next two weeks shes staying here because she needs money to get some furniture, i would have thought she could have at least kept men she barely knows out of my place for that long.

Well, if it's your place no, she has to abide by your houserules. Make sure she knows that.

BTW, sorry to hear about the messy break up. Makes it worst when kiddies are involved. How old are they? What are the custody arrangements? If you don't mind me asking of course.

<----- went through a messy divorce 7 years ago.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

shes found an apartment, cant move in for a week and a half. im keeping one of the kids. shes also not paying me anything for the next two weeks shes staying here because she needs money to get some furniture, i would have thought she could have at least kept men she barely knows out of my place for that long.

Well, if it's your place no, she has to abide by your houserules. Make sure she knows that.

BTW, sorry to hear about the messy break up. Makes it worst when kiddies are involved. How old are they? What are the custody arrangements? If you don't mind me asking of course.

<----- went through a messy divorce 7 years ago.

son will be 2 in august, daughter will be 4 in october

shes taking the boy, hes a mommys boy, cant go without her. ill be keeping our daughter. i expect this to feck them up pretty bad :/

well meet up twice a week at least to let the kids play together, and theyll spend weekends together and my place or hers, rotating weekends i think is the plan.

see *I* know she has to abide by my rules, but she doesnt get it, thinks because for 4 years while we paid the mortgage together she can do what she wants, shes nuts. bah.

 

[AnyMal]

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

shes found an apartment, cant move in for a week and a half. im keeping one of the kids. shes also not paying me anything for the next two weeks shes staying here because she needs money to get some furniture, i would have thought she could have at least kept men she barely knows out of my place for that long.

Well, if it's your place no, she has to abide by your houserules. Make sure she knows that.

BTW, sorry to hear about the messy break up. Makes it worst when kiddies are involved. How old are they? What are the custody arrangements? If you don't mind me asking of course.

<----- went through a messy divorce 7 years ago.

son will be 2 in august, daughter will be 4 in october

shes taking the boy, hes a mommys boy, cant go without her. ill be keeping our daughter. i expect this to feck them up pretty bad :/

well meet up twice a week at least to let the kids play together, and theyll spend weekends together and my place or hers, rotating weekends i think is the plan.

see *I* know she has to abide by my rules, but she doesnt get it, thinks because for 4 years while we paid the mortgage together she can do what she wants, shes nuts. bah.

Do you HAVE to separate the kids? It must be a trainwreck for them as is

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

shes found an apartment, cant move in for a week and a half. im keeping one of the kids. shes also not paying me anything for the next two weeks shes staying here because she needs money to get some furniture, i would have thought she could have at least kept men she barely knows out of my place for that long.

Well, if it's your place no, she has to abide by your houserules. Make sure she knows that.

BTW, sorry to hear about the messy break up. Makes it worst when kiddies are involved. How old are they? What are the custody arrangements? If you don't mind me asking of course.

<----- went through a messy divorce 7 years ago.

son will be 2 in august, daughter will be 4 in october

shes taking the boy, hes a mommys boy, cant go without her. ill be keeping our daughter. i expect this to feck them up pretty bad :/

well meet up twice a week at least to let the kids play together, and theyll spend weekends together and my place or hers, rotating weekends i think is the plan.

see *I* know she has to abide by my rules, but she doesnt get it, thinks because for 4 years while we paid the mortgage together she can do what she wants, shes nuts. bah.

Do you HAVE to separate the kids? It must be a trainwreck for them as is

they have no idea whats going on, just that weve been fighting. neither of us can support them together right now, and if they both go with her child support would kill me while im in this place. if i sell this and get a cheap place they could probably live with her and i could help with the kids since id be alone.

no good way outta any of this right now

 

[AnyMal]

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

shes found an apartment, cant move in for a week and a half. im keeping one of the kids. shes also not paying me anything for the next two weeks shes staying here because she needs money to get some furniture, i would have thought she could have at least kept men she barely knows out of my place for that long.

Well, if it's your place no, she has to abide by your houserules. Make sure she knows that.

BTW, sorry to hear about the messy break up. Makes it worst when kiddies are involved. How old are they? What are the custody arrangements? If you don't mind me asking of course.

<----- went through a messy divorce 7 years ago.

son will be 2 in august, daughter will be 4 in october

shes taking the boy, hes a mommys boy, cant go without her. ill be keeping our daughter. i expect this to feck them up pretty bad :/

well meet up twice a week at least to let the kids play together, and theyll spend weekends together and my place or hers, rotating weekends i think is the plan.

see *I* know she has to abide by my rules, but she doesnt get it, thinks because for 4 years while we paid the mortgage together she can do what she wants, shes nuts. bah.

Do you HAVE to separate the kids? It must be a trainwreck for them as is

they have no idea whats going on, just that weve been fighting. neither of us can support them together right now, and if they both go with her child support would kill me while im in this place. if i sell this and get a cheap place they could probably live with her and i could help with the kids since id be alone.

no good way outta any of this right now

That sucks dude, sorry. Hang in there, things eventually will get better, they always do.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AnyMal

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: CheapArse
Oh, well if she is having some guy "friend" stay over while your kids are there you could call the police. IMO just sounds like more drama the kids don't need to see though...

yeah, youre probably right

its just that i got home this morning, after i stayed at my parents, found out she had someone over in the middle of the night last night, and im not terribly comfortable with having some strange guy shes met briefly one time before that in *my* house at 1 am.

im just not really sure of a "good" way to handle most of the crap im going through right now i guess, bah to all this. damn wimmin

If you're keeping the house, maybe it's time she finds her own place where she can do as she pleases.

Are you keeping the kids too?

shes found an apartment, cant move in for a week and a half. im keeping one of the kids. shes also not paying me anything for the next two weeks shes staying here because she needs money to get some furniture, i would have thought she could have at least kept men she barely knows out of my place for that long.

Well, if it's your place no, she has to abide by your houserules. Make sure she knows that.

BTW, sorry to hear about the messy break up. Makes it worst when kiddies are involved. How old are they? What are the custody arrangements? If you don't mind me asking of course.

<----- went through a messy divorce 7 years ago.

son will be 2 in august, daughter will be 4 in october

shes taking the boy, hes a mommys boy, cant go without her. ill be keeping our daughter. i expect this to feck them up pretty bad :/

well meet up twice a week at least to let the kids play together, and theyll spend weekends together and my place or hers, rotating weekends i think is the plan.

see *I* know she has to abide by my rules, but she doesnt get it, thinks because for 4 years while we paid the mortgage together she can do what she wants, shes nuts. bah.

Do you HAVE to separate the kids? It must be a trainwreck for them as is

they have no idea whats going on, just that weve been fighting. neither of us can support them together right now, and if they both go with her child support would kill me while im in this place. if i sell this and get a cheap place they could probably live with her and i could help with the kids since id be alone.

no good way outta any of this right now

That sucks dude, sorry. Hang in there, things eventually will get better, they always do.

thanks, thats about all i can do.

 

[Biggerhammer]

I don't know about the law, but I know that your situation sucks, terribly. Hope that it works out as well as can be, with such crap going on.

 

[her209]

You can make it uncomfortable enough that the person leaves voluntarily.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: xSauronx
im not going to get into it all right now, but lets say my wife has someone over that i loathe, and she wants the person to stick around.

i dont, and am willing to call the police to have them taken off my property....can i do that? will it do any good? or am i screwed because my wifes name is on everything too, and she wants the person to stay?

If this is seriously an issue this bad, it's time you move out. It's obviously your problem. If she's moving on already to other guys, it's the breaks. Some can accept it some can't. During my divorce back in 1997 I was happy it was ending due to the financial burden I was in because of fun...however; we both knew we were seeing others and we were still both seeing eath other. It didn't bother me, but I don't think sex is the end all be all of a relationship, nor do I care if someone did have the Naval fleet and two bag boys as a tip.

It's her place too though, end of story. Sucky deal if you don't like it, but that's the way it goes. I'd be happy she was planing on moving out...in my case I just moved out, let her draw checks out of the joint account (something else you need to think of if that is the case, you can add a name to any account, but almost never can you remove one).

In my case she pulled the smartest move I ever have seen. It was before online banking and phone banking would just tell you 'Check #104 in the amount of $800 was paid on July 3, 2005', well she took on responsibility for the bills, taking care of the cats ($300 a month I was charged for that), and I'd swing by each week to do the lawn and maintenance while we sold the place...the cool part was on those days we'd have some fun, mean sex kind of fun...she thought she was getting me...I was getting her to do the things I wanted, plus got to hang out with my cats.

da funny ended when I found another chick and for 3 months out she was just writing each bill amount to 'cash' instead of paying them plus she sold my cats a week after and collected 3 months. The ramifications extended until just recently financially.

 

[Shame]

My ex lived with me from October 2002 to February 2003. It really sucked. She threatened a messy divorce. She bartered off stuff I wanted in order to stay in the house. During that time, I managed to refinance the house in MY name, have a 1,000 arguments, but came home everyday from work to a house that WASN'T emptied out.

Suggestions:

1. Deal with it. It's cheaper than a messy divorce and custody battle.
2. Take the last five days that she is living there off work. You WANT to be there when she moves out.
3. Don't let a bunch of people over to help her move. She does not need 15 people to help her move. Her relatives/friends will try and throw anything and eveything of YOURS in HER boxes. I inspected everything that left the house.
4. Put anything sentimental that you really want to keep in your car trunk. Ex's are attracted to that stuff for some reason.
5. Change ALL the locks and the garage door code about 30 seconds after she moves out. NEVER EVER give her a key.
6. It's a week and half... I'd be pissed too about another man in my house, but at least you weren't home.
7. Don't call the police unless you live in a trailer park. Nothing good is going to come from that.
8. Take pictures of your house. If she gets the bright idea to take stuff, you have evidence.
9. Make sure the divorce decree has her putting her car loans, etc in her own name. Ex's tend to be a little slow about this. They also tend to pay that stuff last knowing YOUR name is on it.
10. Don't get married again.