Proper funeral/services etiquette

[CountZero]

My step-siblings' father just passed away. While I didn't know him I'd like to express my condolences to my step-siblings. There will be no funeral but there will be a service. Is it appropriate to send flowers to the service? Would it make more sense to send something to their mom (my dad's wife) to pass along? Or, since I'm not terribly close to them, is doing any of this inappropriate in some way?

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Flowers are generally always appropriate. If your dad's wife is still close to the deceased father, sending flowers to her to pass along would probably be ok. But to avoid potential uncomfortable feelings, I would send the flowers to the step-siblings or the service directly.

Just my 2c.

 

[IronWing]

Everything you need to know...

Do not criticize the person in whose honor the entertainment is given.

Make no remarks about his equipment. If the handles are plated, it is best to seem to not observe it.

If the odor of the flowers is too oppressive for your comfort, remember that they were not brought there for you, and that the person for whom they were brought suffers no inconvenience from their presence.

Listen, with as intense an expression of attention as you can command, to the official statement of the character and history of the person in whose honor the entertainment is given; and if these statistics should seem to fail to tally with the facts, in places, do not nudge your neighbor, or press your foot upon his toes, or manifest, by any other sign, your awareness that taffy is being distributed.

If the official hopes expressed concerning the person in whose honor the entertainment is given are known by you to be oversized, let it pass -- do not interrupt.

At the moving passages, be moved -- but only according to the degree of your intimacy with the parties giving the entertainment, or with the party in whose honor the entertainment is given. Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief. Where the occasion is military, the emotions should be graded according to military rank, the highest officer present taking precedence in emotional violence, and the rest modifying their feelings according to their position in the service.

Do not bring your dog.

- Mark Twain

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Everything you need to know...

Thats awesome, esp because I know a guy that brought his dog to a funeral. lol

 

[mugs]

Unless you live really far away, you should go to the service. Otherwise send flowers. Or check the obituary, sometimes people would prefer you donate to a charity rather than send flowers.

 

[Skel]

definitely check the obituary before sending flowers. If you do go to the service, remember you have two jobs, sit there and shut up. I'll never forget when I went to a funeral and one of the friends of the deceased brought her boyfriend. The guy, who had never met the deceased in his life got up when they asked if anyone would like to speak and went on for about 10 mins about how much pain he had gone through in his life. I'd never been more intrigued at a display of attention whoring, while being so pissed at his lack of respect.

 

[skyking]

Thats awesome, esp because I know a guy that brought his dog to a funeral. lol

Last funeral I attended, a granddaughter brought a puppy. She must not read Twain.


OMG skel, decorum was all that saved him from an ass pounding I'm sure.