Proper etiquette in situation going out to eat

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
So I have some buddies who have good money. I have some money but don't like to blow it on food all the the time. Is it out of line when we are going out to eat to say "I'll just take my own check tonight". It seems pretty cheap, but at the same time I don't want to pay for their expensive sushi food. Is it better to just not go at all?
 

Phoenix86

Lifer
May 21, 2003
14,644
10
81
If they are good buddies they will understand you taking your own check. If they don't, that's very telling...
 

HaxorNubcake

Golden Member
Jun 23, 2004
1,983
0
0
Originally posted by: TheNinja
So I have some buddies who have good money. I have some money but don't like to blow it on food all the the time. Is it out of line when we are going out to eat to say "I'll just take my own check tonight". It seems pretty cheap, but at the same time I don't want to pay for their expensive sushi food. Is it better to just not go at all?

As an alternative to taking your own check, why not just eat your own food and then just pay for your share? But, if you don't like that, I don't see anything wrong with taking your own check.
 

JS80

Lifer
Oct 24, 2005
26,271
7
81
order something cheap? it's not like you're splitting the bill equally...

another solution: make more money
 

iamaelephant

Diamond Member
Jul 25, 2004
3,816
1
81
As opposed to what? Splitting the bill evenly?

I have friends who make a lot more money than me and they always understand in these situations.
 

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,920
46
91
Originally posted by: JS80
order something cheap? it's not like you're splitting the bill equally...

another solution: make more money

Apparantly splitting the bill equally is exactly what they're doing.

OP, I don't think it'd be a big deal if you asked for a separate check.
 

bsobel

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Dec 9, 2001
13,346
0
0
Originally posted by: TheNinja
So I have some buddies who have good money. I have some money but don't like to blow it on food all the the time. Is it out of line when we are going out to eat to say "I'll just take my own check tonight". It seems pretty cheap, but at the same time I don't want to pay for their expensive sushi food. Is it better to just not go at all?

A group of us always split the check, we figure it all balances out. Occasionally someone else comes with us who isn't normally with the group, absolutely no one is offended or otherwise when they ask for their own check. We realize its fair to them as they don't get the benefit of the 'averaging' that is occuring.

As someone else said, if they have a problem then find new friends. Nothing wrong with what you are doing.
 

Kanalua

Diamond Member
Jun 14, 2001
4,860
2
81
Yeah, if they are friends, they will understand. I'm sure its more of a deal for you (The awkwardness, no the bill, obviously) than it is for them. Or you could just straight out tell your friends (at least the influential friend in the group) it might assuage your feelings.
 

Kelvrick

Lifer
Feb 14, 2001
18,422
5
81
Me and my friends don't ever just split the bill evenly. Everyone pays for what they order, with the occasional, "I got it this time" incidents.
 
Oct 4, 2004
10,515
6
81
I have this problem, occasionally. My idea of spending money on the weekend is a little different from some of my richer friends. They like fancy dinners - I like a chicken sandwich, coke and cigarettes. Used to be sort of tricky before, but they understand now. I just said, "I really don't like expensive dinners...you guys go ahead and I will go hang with Mustafa & Nash." They would offer to pay for me but I would decline.

After lots of weekends with Mustafa & Nash and my other low-maintenance friends, they decided we could do other stuff. It's all good now.
 

SuepaFly

Senior member
Jun 3, 2001
972
0
0
In some ways splitting the bill evenly is just friendlier, but definitely not when the price is really high and not when someone can't afford it. You should probably say something first, like before you go to the restaurant or when you sit down, and just be like "I really wanted to come hang out with you guys tonight, but I hope you don't mind that I get a seperate check?" Like another poster said, if they're friends they'll understand.
 

KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
I would not ask for a separate check. I just would put in the cost of my food, plus 20% and round it off to the nearest dollar.
 

TuxDave

Lifer
Oct 8, 2002
10,571
3
71
Some people are just stupid when it comes to splitting the bill. I went with 5 friends for dinner and 4 of us ordered maybe a $15 dinner and the 5th one ordered a $25 dinner, alcohol and 2 hookah (sp?) thingies for himself. When the bill came the 5th guy had the balls to take the check and divide it by 5 and say how much we each owe. :disgust:
 

rise

Diamond Member
Dec 13, 2004
9,116
46
91
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
I would not ask for a separate check. I just would put in the cost of my food, plus 20% and round it off to the nearest dollar.

 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
Originally posted by: JS80
order something cheap? it's not like you're splitting the bill equally...

another solution: make more money

ya, the bill just gets split up. they don't care much about money or who ordered what b/c they just like to have fun and don't care what they spend.
 

KingGheedora

Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2006
3,248
1
81
Originally posted by: TuxDave
Some people are just stupid when it comes to splitting the bill. I went with 5 friends for dinner and 4 of us ordered maybe a $15 dinner and the 5th one ordered a $25 dinner, alcohol and 2 hookah (sp?) thingies for himself. When the bill came the 5th guy had the balls to take the check and divide it by 5 and say how much we each owe. :disgust:

Ordering a soda while some have water is fine, and everyone ordering dishes in the same price range, (all within plus or minus 20% of each other) is expected when splitting the bill evenly. I hate when people break this rule, though it happens very rarely.

To the OP, why not just suggest cheaper places? When deciding where to go, just say that sushi place is too expensive.
 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
I should clarify, with most groups of friends we split based on what we ordered and don't go to super expensive places. There is a just a small group that has more money and they like to spend it. It's not worth that much money to me, but I feel like a tool when they ask why I'm not going and I say "I can't afford it".
 

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,447
133
106
I've never gone to eat with friends where we split the bill x number of ways. We always just specify to the waitress at the beginning of the meal that we want separate checks. Nothing rude about it - you pay for what you eat and you all enjoy each other's company.
 

Baked

Lifer
Dec 28, 2004
36,052
17
81
How about you and your rich friends stop going to french restaurants and ordering $200/plate snails.
 

erub

Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2000
5,481
0
0
my advice is that if you don't want to pay evenly, make sure you have cash on hand, including 1's and preferably all other bills..it gets stupid when its like $17 on this card, $14 on that one (even if you write it down)
 

SmoochyTX

Lifer
Apr 19, 2003
13,615
0
0
Originally posted by: HotChic
I've never gone to eat with friends where we split the bill x number of ways. We always just specify to the waitress at the beginning of the meal that we want separate checks. Nothing rude about it - you pay for what you eat and you all enjoy each other's company.