Problems with Father.. [solved]

[mrCide]

I know this is the BEST place to post about this.

Two weeks ago my dad calls me (routine call to see how i'm doing, usually every couple days). He lives in GA I live in FL with my mom to give you a basis here.

Long story short, I tell him I bought a car and he gets pissed at me, and asks why I didn't call for easter, he gets pissed at me (I did call, couldn't get through to him). Tells me whatever he doesn't want to talk about it (doesn't believe me) and says have a nice day etc bye.

Fast forward 2 weeks later (today) he calls me telling me I couldn't call him see how he's doing what if he was sick what if he was dying. I told him I'm not going to call him after him not calling me because he's mad at me, when he's over it he'll call me. "what if what if what if" I told him he had called my brother a couple times so I knew he was fine. He tells me it's not the point, the point is that I'm selfish and this and that.

I say I'm selfish? I said he's selfish and then trying to test me just to get mad at me whatever, then he said "how am I selfish". I told him I don't want to talk about it. "if you make an accusation".. So I say you're the one who moved to GA, you're the one who remarried, etc. (a lot more here but I didn't mention it and I won't here). So he says what else, I said I really don't want to talk about it. He says him either, and he's very disappointed I said that, and have a nice day and I said 'yeah' and hung up.

I hate to have problems with him because I never say anything when he does something I think is selfish or don't agree with (it's not really my place), and I always show my respect for him regardless, but when he turns around and accuses me of sht like that, it really pisses me off.

Am I wrong to feel that way? Should I have just apologized for not calling? heh.. ugh.

 

[Azraele]

Just offhand first impression, he sounds a bit insecure (is that the word I want?).

It wouldn't hurt for you to call him to see how he's doing. Talk about how you feel with him.

 

[spaceman]

Originally posted by: mrCide
I know this is the BEST place to post about this.

Two weeks ago my dad calls me (routine call to see how i'm doing, usually every couple days). He lives in GA I live in FL with my mom to give you a basis here.

Long story short, I tell him I bought a car and he gets pissed at me, and asks why I didn't call for easter, he gets pissed at me (I did call, couldn't get through to him). Tells me whatever he doesn't want to talk about it (doesn't believe me) and says have a nice day etc bye.

Fast forward 2 weeks later (today) he calls me telling me I couldn't call him see how he's doing what if he was sick what if he was dying. I told him I'm not going to call him after him not calling me because he's mad at me, when he's over it he'll call me. "what if what if what if" I told him he had called my brother a couple times so I knew he was fine. He tells me it's not the point, the point is that I'm selfish and this and that.

I say I'm selfish? I said he's selfish and then trying to test me just to get mad at me whatever, then he said "how am I selfish". I told him I don't want to talk about it. "if you make an accusation".. So I say you're the one who moved to GA, you're the one who remarried, etc. (a lot more here but I didn't mention it and I won't here). So he says what else, I said I really don't want to talk about it. He says him either, and he's very disappointed I said that, and have a nice day and I said 'yeah' and hung up.

I hate to have problems with him because I never say anything when he does something I think is selfish or don't agree with (it's not really my place), and I always show my respect for him regardless, but when he turns around and accuses me of sht like that, it really pisses me off.

Am I wrong to feel that way? Should I have just apologized for not calling? heh.. ugh.

a phone works two ways.
the best advice i can give is not to let pettiness on either side hinder a relationship with your father.
I know all about it, i havent spoken to my mother in 5 years.

 

[m2kewl]

Originally posted by: ncircle
a phone works two ways. the best advice i can give is not to let pettiness on either side hinder a relationship with your father. I know all about it, i havent spoken to my mother in 5 years.

today's mother's day...you know what to do

 

[SinfulWeeper]

A father is never one to judge. Nor is a son.

In time I hope you both work it out. Thats the best thing to hope for.

 

[mrCide]

heh, well I decided I'd do it differently this time.. so I called him back and said sorry, then explained why i said what i said and how i felt, then he apologized and said some father type things.. worked it out..

I really hate holding grudges with my family.. =\ thanks for the input guys.

 

[OutHouse]

my father is critical and on his death bed with Leukemia. Make things right with your dad, trust me someday you will be in my shoes and you will wish you have called him every time you could or should.

 

I hope you don't take offense to this, but it sounds like your Dad is a drama queen. "What if I was sick?" "What if I was dying?" If he was sick or dying, woudln't he call you? He can't expect you to magically know when to call when he's not feeling good.