Prenuptial Agreements - what do you think of them?

[MichaelD]

Inspired by the "Last fling before getting married?" thread, I started thinking about my one and only prerequisite for marriage: a prenuptial agreement.

IMHO, there are two schools of thought on this:

1. The "Oh, she/he loves me and they'd NEVER do anything evil to hurt me!" school of thought.

*MichaelD's interpretation: they've never taken it up the wahoo with no vaseline before, so they are ignorant of the potential evil*


2. The "Oh, hell YEAH, I want a prenup! S'matter of fact, we will not talk about the honeymoon or our future together until the prenup is signed and locked in a safe depost box!!!"

*MichaelD's interpretation: like me, they've been burned, don't trust women (or men, in the women's case) and only want to look out for their best interest.*

Now remember, this is my opinion here, OK?

I know many will say "oh, but if you truly love that person, than your trust should be blind!" I say "bull-doody!" (Well, not really, but you can't say bullsh1t here..)

Hypothetical situation. I marry "Mary." Before we met, Mary had an extensive Barbie Doll collection worth $10K. I had lots of tools worth $10K. What right do I have to Mary's dolls should we divorce? NONE! Same goes for my tools, or my frog collection or my coin collection. You get the idea.

Prenups are the ultimate safety net. I see nothing wrong with them. Those that find prenup to be "offensive" have never had the pleasure off seeing your personal things, things you worked hard to buy become the property of somebody else and been powerless to do anything about it. :|

Love is wonderful. When it's wonderful. When it goes bad, it's hell. There is no such thing as "a friendly breakup." I, for one am not willing to take that risk.

Now, what say you?

 

[PlatinumGold]

I was a student and didn't have much when i got married, so it wasn't a consideration for me.

everything my wife and i own now, we really earned together, so again, for me it was moot.

It's hard for me to imagine a scenario where i'd marry someone that i felt would require a prenup.

. The "Oh, she/he loves me and they'd NEVER do anything evil to hurt me!" school of thought.

Plats Take, I love her so much that even if she took me for all i had i would still love her.

i know i'm a sap.

 

[Jzero]

My thinking is:
Why not get one? If we are both good for our word, then it will never be an issue, and if we're not, then I'm glad I covered myself before I was lied to.
I don't think it's such a horrible thing.

 

[Beau]

The funny thing is that most people think that a prenump is one sided, but the truth is that there are terms set for both parties.

And the argument for "oh, but if you loved me, you wouldn't make me do this" is circular and is answered by: "But if you loved me and had no intentions of violating the agreements, you'd have no problems signing it..."

 

[StageLeft]

I think they stink. Yes many marriages end dead in the water but the thing is if you get a pre-nup it's like admitting you're not even going to give it your best shot. In my opinion it undermines things from the start.

 

[Mursilis]

I can't imagine actually marrying someone I distrusted enough to make sign a prenuptial agreement. That's just dumb. I've got no prenuptial agreement, and no worries about it, either.

 

[vi edit]

I think that the more assets you have going into the marriage, the greater the need for a prenup.

Say a soon to be "spouse"(to prevent any arguements) goes into a marriage owning their own home, and a very healthy investment portfolio. In my mind, in the event of a divorce, the other "spouse" has ZERO entitlement to any of those possessions.

As the stakes go up, so does the logical advise of CYA with a prenup.

 

[Hammer]

I would definitely get one.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: hammer09
I would definitely get one.

I won't let you.

 

[LuNoTiCK]

I think a prenup is good and bad.

 

[Miramonti]

I think its ridiculous to have one if you're getting married out of college and you both have virtually nothing going into the marriage, but it can be alot more relevant if both are older and have more assets.

 

[trmiv]

I think Chris Rock said it best

"Everybody needs a prenup!

You got 20 million and your wife wants 10, big deal, you ain't starvin. But if you make 30 thousand, and your wife want 15, you might have to kill her!

I ain't gonna move back with my momma cause you ain't in love."

 

[Chaotic42]

I think that the justice system should be fixed in this regard. A little common sense would be nice. If one person is bringing in all of the money, they shouldn't get it equally.

Divorce is another subject all together though.

 

[Hammer]

You would take her side?

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: hammer09
I would definitely get one.

I won't let you.

 

[badluck]

think its ridiculous to have one if you're getting married out of college and you both have virtually nothing going into the marriage, but it can be alot more relevant if both are older and have more assets.

Everybody needs a pre-nup. Most people don't realize this but, even if you are broke and just getting started out the courts will take half of your assets (including retirement money) and leave you broke. My parents have a friend who is a firefighter and recently divorced. Right now, he has nothing due to the divorce. He wasn't the one who wanted to get divorced and they still took most of his money. He has just enough money now to live in an apartment and eat. He said the only way he can afford to move out of his apartment is to get married to someone else and hope they can help him out. The kids are over 18, so he doesn't have to pay support and he is still broke. He never cheated on her, and loved her to death. It's sad.....If you are a male, the deck is stacked against you when getting divorced.

People need to be realistic about marriage. Sure, nobody wants to get divorced......but, let's face it....people change over the course of their lives. To me, it is a realistic approach to the situation. If we never get divorced, it wouldn't make a difference. If we do, then it gives both of us security. Security that might allow either of us to move on with our life if our marriage doesn't work out. Even if my wife made 2x what I did, I wouldn't want her money.

 

[pyonir]

If I were getting married, i would definately discuss it with my fiance/gf. I think it is something that should be done. For my own good, and hers. I don't want to ever get a divorce once i am married, but you never know what the future holds (like even if i ever get married).

Call me selfish, but I always look out for myself first, and make sure i am in a comfortable place. Everyone else falls into place after that.

 

[XCLAN]

I think im screwed if i ever get divorced guzz i didnt sign a prenup

 

[Angrymarshmello]

My inclination is to get a prenup just because there's so much you could lose in a divorce in terms of overall assets by it. I'm not rich by any means nor do I see myself as a millionaire in the future but there's a 50/50 chance of getting divorced, better to be on the safe side. Of course that's assuming I do get married if ever and the woman I'd want to marry would sign one, which right now in my life seems like a total absolute long shot.

 

[Ameesh]

i thought prenups only protect what assets you get after you are married, so her barbie colllection and your tools will always be your and only things or money after marriage can be split 50/50

 

[Pooteh]

i don't think it has anything to do with giving your best shot if you sign a prenup. its just a harsh reality these days. It maybe ugly and disconcerting, but it is also wise. Its main problem is that it is unromantic, and romance is overrated in the west. You cannot truely know the mind of another person, and you cannot ever be sure the arcs of your growth will be together. sometimes its just chance, and not effort. Either way, it is wise.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Pooteh
i don't think it has anything to do with giving your best shot if you sign a prenup. its just a harsh reality these days. It maybe ugly and disconcerting, but it is also wise. Its main problem is that it is unromantic, and romance is overrated in the west. You cannot truely know the mind of another person, and you cannot ever be sure the arcs of your growth will be together. sometimes its just chance, and not effort. Either way, it is wise.

LOTS of great words so far, but I like this one best. People grow apart and shouldn't be financially penalized for it. TTT.

 

[Mill]

No to a pre-nup. When my mother married my step-father our lawyers wanted her to get a pre-nup she told them fvck no.

 

[kassy]

On my side- There was little point in having a prenup with my second husband... my first husband got everything.
On his (Hubby #2) side- Hubby #2 had financial woes when I met him...so it was a pointless discussion for both of us.
But if both parties agree I see no problem with a prenup.

 

[Shelly21]

Nothing wrong with them... I have assets that I'm not willing to share.

I worked hard to get what I have now.......

 

[klod]

I've had friends who's spouse ran up huge credit card debts. At the divorce, my friends were liable for half the incurred debts. And I mean ten's of thousands of dollars in credit card debts.