Prenups

[MaverickBP]

Hey guys I have been researching prenups and was curious about your opinions/suggestions. Things that you have seen or wish you would have thought of. I have always planned on getting a prenup whenever I get married because I feel a marriage should be about love and nothing else. I have seen too many cases of guys/girls getting screwed over to not protect myself. Basically what I want is my future wife and I to get nothing should we divorce. Of course anything we acquire together during the marriage is split between us because WE earned it. But that is the only thing I want to happen as I believe that is fair. I shouldn't have rights to things she had before the marriage, nor should see have to pay my bills afterwords or vice versa. This is of course excluding things we purchased together that are not yet paid off. So please post whatever you have to say on the subject.

Also before the flaming starts. A prenup isn't dooming the marriage from the beginning...it's a protection plan. Same reason we buckle our seat belts when we get in our cars. We don't plan on getting in an accident but would like to protect ourselves should the event occur. Same reason we get car insurance. Truth is people change and things are done out of anger/resentment and those heated decisions can have a lifelong effect on someone. A prenup is a nice way to try and prepare incase the worst happens.

 

[jdini76]

I take it you have a lot of your own going into the relationship. If so, then I say go for it. You should protect yourself. You never know what can happen.

 

[Scarpozzi]

I should have had one written up.....but I figure that I don't own enough of anything yet. I honestly don't believe in divorce. I married my wife because I plan on staying with her until one of us kicks off.

 

[bennylong]

People that argue against prenup are the same idiots that argue you shouldn't have insurance.

"Why buy insurance on your life,health,and property? You're just setting yourself up for failure and death!"

 

[MaverickBP]

Originally posted by: jdini76
I take it you have a lot of your own going into the relationship. If so, then I say go for it. You should protect yourself. You never know what can happen.

That I do. But even if I had little I don't believe she should be entitled to it anymore than I should be entitled to her cd collection she bought years before even meeting me. Anything we occur while together is both of ours and should be split accordingly. That imo should be the only thing that happens in the event of a divorce. No alimony...no splitting up of my/her 401k, etc.

 

[MaverickBP]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I should have had one written up.....but I figure that I don't own enough of anything yet. I honestly don't believe in divorce. I married my wife because I plan on staying with her until one of us kicks off.

You don't have anything yet...but do you know your future retirement/401k/inheritance/gifts/etc are marital property? Should she (or you) be entitled to eachother's 401k/retirement even years after divorcing?

I do agree with you about not believing in divorce. I obviously don't plan on entering marriage lightly like most people who do it on a whim (Britney Spears). When I do it, I want to be thinking that's it's my one and only time.

 

[brandonb]

From what I know a prenup is not a valid legal document/contract.

If you went to court for a property dispute, the judge would just throw out a prenup anyways.

Alimony only comes into play if there was a lifestyle change because of the marriage. For example, if a woman was making $80k/y at a nursing job, then quit to raise children in the home for 15 years. That's a lifestyle change, and alimony would be granted. However, if there wasn't a lifestyle change, or you weren't married long enough, she wouldn't get alimony.

It's a risk, and its probably a good idea to know the woman you are marrying before doing so. I'd have her sign it just to see her reaction, if she says "We won't get a divorce anyways" then its probably a good reaction, if she starts spazzing, then probably a good indicator shes in it for the wrong reasons.

 

[MaverickBP]

Originally posted by: brandonb
From what I know a prenup is not a valid legal document/contract.

If you went to court for a property dispute, the judge would just throw out a prenup anyways.

Alimony only comes into play if there was a lifestyle change because of the marriage. For example, if a woman was making $80k/y at a nursing job, then quit to raise children in the home for 15 years. That's a lifestyle change, and alimony would be granted. However, if there wasn't a lifestyle change, or you weren't married long enough, she wouldn't get alimony.

It's a risk, and its probably a good idea to know the woman you are marrying before doing so. I'd have her sign it just to see her reaction, if she says "We won't get a divorce anyways" then its probably a good reaction, if she starts spazzing, then probably a good indicator shes in it for the wrong reasons.

I agree with the last part. She shouldn't be concerned with signing one. As far as the legality of the form...as long as it's signed well before the marriage it usually holds it's own in court. You just gotta make sure each person has their own lawyer...the signing is videotaped and witnessed (by an judge/retired judge if possible), and is clearly pointed out that it's not signed under duress. If you try to have a prenup made/signed weeks before the marriage, then it can be fought saying the person signed under duress. I.e. sign this or we don't get married.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

I want a prenup and I am never getting married. They are just all around good to have.

 

[dainthomas]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I should have had one written up.....but I figure that I don't own enough of anything yet. I honestly don't believe in divorce. I married my wife because I plan on staying with her until one of us kicks off.

What if she bangs another guy (or girl)? No-fault divorce = half your stuff is hers.

 

[Golgatha]

Originally posted by: MaverickBP

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I should have had one written up.....but I figure that I don't own enough of anything yet. I honestly don't believe in divorce. I married my wife because I plan on staying with her until one of us kicks off.

You don't have anything yet...but do you know your future retirement/401k/inheritance/gifts/etc are marital property? Should she (or you) be entitled to eachother's 401k/retirement even years after divorcing?

I do agree with you about not believing in divorce. I obviously don't plan on entering marriage lightly like most people who do it on a whim (Britney Spears). When I do it, I want to be thinking that's it's my one and only time.

Actually, inheritance and gifts aren't communal property in most states and long as the beneficiary keeps everything in their own name. However, if you receive a large inheritance and pay off your house for example, then you basically just gifted half the equity in the house to your spouse if both of your names are on the loan.

 

[purbeast0]

My girlfriend and I have talked about getting a prenup when we get married. She actually is the one who brought it up and thought it was a good idea. I didn't even have to bring it up.

Needless to say, when we eventually get married, we'll probably get one for the same reasons the OP mentioned.

 

[MaverickBP]

Originally posted by: Golgatha

Originally posted by: MaverickBP

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I should have had one written up.....but I figure that I don't own enough of anything yet. I honestly don't believe in divorce. I married my wife because I plan on staying with her until one of us kicks off.

You don't have anything yet...but do you know your future retirement/401k/inheritance/gifts/etc are marital property? Should she (or you) be entitled to eachother's 401k/retirement even years after divorcing?

I do agree with you about not believing in divorce. I obviously don't plan on entering marriage lightly like most people who do it on a whim (Britney Spears). When I do it, I want to be thinking that's it's my one and only time.

Actually, inheritance and gifts aren't communal property in most states and long as the beneficiary keeps everything in their own name. However, if you receive a large inheritance and pay off your house for example, then you basically just gifted half the equity in the house to your spouse if both of your names are on the loan.

True. Which is why it's a good idea to have a seperate bank account. For example if you inherited $5000 and "temporarily" deposited into your joint account while figuring out how to spend the money. You just basically gave her/him $2500 of that money.

 

[middlehead]

I have no idea how to build one, but I know I'll require a prenup before I consider getting married.

 

[GasX]

A few pointers:
1. Focus on the important/valuable things and specifically state that they are pre-marital assets. i.e. My <insert broker here> IRA account, My grandfather's stamp collection, Your grandmother's engagement ring, your savings account.
2. define that identified pre-marital assets will remain with the appropriate party in case of divorce.
3. Open up joint accounts as soon as you are married or beforehand.
4. Fund those accounts through either equal contributions or monies neither of you consider "pre-marital"
5. Agree upon and sign the pre-nup weeks or months before the wedding

 

[Turin39789]

Meh. You should marry a woman richer than you, and get no pre nup

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I should have had one written up.....but I figure that I don't own enough of anything yet. I honestly don't believe in divorce. I married my wife because I plan on staying with her until one of us kicks off.

You may not believe in divorce now but if your wife let's someone else's penis inside her vagina you may change your mind.

I will NOT get married without a prenup.

 

[TheGizmo]

Originally posted by: purbeast0
My girlfriend and I have talked about getting a prenup when we get married. She actually is the one who brought it up and thought it was a good idea. I didn't even have to bring it up.

Needless to say, when we eventually get married, we'll probably get one for the same reasons the OP mentioned.

A lucky man you are, purbeast... for you don't have to endure some woman screaming at you when you bring it up btw, hows it goin man. #psxtrade pwns you haha i haven't thought about that place in a really long time.

 

[mrrman]

I am for prenups now...if I ever get married again...I will get one for sure. My principals are you own what you come into the marriage with...any assets after the marriage are 50/50 ....simple as that...no spousal support as I assume she is working or will be. If she is not you will be liable for spousal for a predetermined amount of time that the courts deem fair. My 2c worth.

 

[MaverickBP]

Originally posted by: mrrman
I am for prenups now...if I ever get married again...I will get one for sure. My principals are you own what you come into the marriage with...any assets after the marriage are 50/50 ....simple as that...no spousal support as I assume she is working or will be. If she is not you will be liable for spousal for a predetermined amount of time that the courts deem fair. My 2c worth.

Couldn't agree more.

 

[Corporate Thug]

OP, I have a written myself a long prenup that covers every topic imaginable (other than Child Support because CA doesn't allow it)

 

[bobdelt]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I should have had one written up.....but I figure that I don't own enough of anything yet. I honestly don't believe in divorce. I married my wife because I plan on staying with her until one of us kicks off.

Good luck. Nobody plans to get divorced.

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: purbeast0
My girlfriend and I have talked about getting a prenup when we get married. She actually is the one who brought it up and thought it was a good idea. I didn't even have to bring it up.

Needless to say, when we eventually get married, we'll probably get one for the same reasons the OP mentioned.

I have brought the topic up to the b/f.

I had very little when I met him and would have not much more if it were not for him.

He owns his business, brings in good money and his parents are multi-millionaires. He bought and paid for this house in cash. He paid for all of his vehicles in cash. He has a pension, 401k, life insurance and will inherit, big time.

He wants to marry, I continue to say no.

I think it would be smart of him to get a pre-nup, he refuses.

Go figure.

 

[imported_Lothar]

Originally posted by: bennylong
People that argue against prenup are the same idiots that argue you shouldn't have insurance.

"Why buy insurance on your life,health,and property? You're just setting yourself up for failure and death!"

A Prenup isn't an insurance.
It's not admissable in some state courts.

 

[MaverickBP]

Originally posted by: Corporate Thug
OP, I have a written myself a long prenup that covers every topic imaginable (other than Child Support because CA doesn't allow it)

Ya i've been looking for example copies online to try and get an idea how to write one up. No state will allow child support to be entered into a prenup. Welfare of the child > all.