Pre-marriage counseling starts today.

[BlueWeasel]

I'm getting married in May and we have our first counseling session tonight. The Methodist minister who is doing the ceremony is handling the counseling sessions.

For those that have been to marriage counseling before, what was it like?

 

[Aharami]

huh? ive never heard of anyone getting marriage counselling before getting married. I thought you go for marriage counselling if you are having problems in your current marriage. Am i missing something here?

edit: nm. i see that you edited the title

 

[Deeko]

I thought that was some crazy catholic thing?

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Pre-Marriage Counseling And Wedding Policies
Qualifications and Approval

We believe the Scriptures teach that marriage is an institution established by God, and that it is a lifetime commitment. We also believe an understanding of the biblical foundation for marriage is essential for any couple considering marriage. For those requesting Pre-Marriage Counseling, asking to be married, or inquiring about the use of our facilities, we require:

1. Both partners give clear testimony of being born-again believers, who personally trust in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of their sins and for eternal life.

2. Both partners be scripturally qualified to marry.

3. Both believing partners be committed to a Christian marriage, as defined in the Bible.

4. The couple be married by a church Elder-approved Officiant, who holds to the teaching of Scripture. If the Officiant is unknown to us, one or more church Elders will meet with him for approval.

5. Both partners be willing to complete our Pre-Marriage Counseling or a church Elder-approved Pre-Marriage Counseling program.

6. The wedding participants abide by the Building Use Policies of the church.

Pre-Marriage Counseling

The ideal would be to enter into Pre-Marriage Counseling before having made a commitment to one another. In view of the seriousness of the commitment you are considering and the importance of the material to be covered, couples should allow at least four months before their marriage to complete the counseling comfortably.

The church Pre-Marriage Counseling is designed to assist the couple in building a biblical understanding and foundation for their marriage and consists of five basic parts:

1. The Criteria for Marriage

2. Christian Marriage I: Basics

3. Christian Marriage II: A Christian Husband, A Christian Wife

4. Before Your Marriage

5. Your Wedding and After

We want to be very clear that going through Pre-Marriage Counseling does not guarantee approval of your marriage. The Officiant and Pre-Marriage Counselors assigned to you must be satisfied that you understand and meet the requirements and qualifications for marriage before approval. After the third session, your Pre-Marriage Counselor will submit his recommendation to you and to the Officiant for final approval. Wedding dates are penciled in on the Master Calendar until final approval. Invitations should not be sent until final approval is received.

 

[Queasy]

Some churches require that you go to pre-marriage counseling if you are going to be married in their church/with their minister. The church my wife and I were married in required the same. It is mostly talking about issues you may come up with in the process of getting married and what you should expect from one another once you do get married. At least ours were.

 

[Red Dawn]

What to expect?

A load of Bullsh!t

 

[royaldank]

Ours was somewhat different than the minister normally did. We lived about an hour away so he said it would only be one or two meetings. We got there and took a 150 question survey thing. He "graded" them and it's supposed to be the starting ground for discussions. Honestly, he said he'd never seen results like what we had. There were less than 10 questions that we answered differently on. He was smiling as he looked over it a couple more times. Lasted an hour and he said everything was good. We didn't have to go back to any more and he agreed to marry us.

Neither of us really believe in God and used a minister to appease our families.

 

[meltdown75]

I'm a crazy Catholic - my wife and I had to go to a wedding "class" of sorts which, all-told, amounted to about six hours of listening to "mature" couples discuss various aspects of marriage. It was spread out over a weekend.

There were a lot of group exercises (shut up), discussion and of course on Sunday everyone was required to attend mass.

I guess it wasn't that bad. Just be open and prepare to hear a lot of anecdotes on successful marriages.

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

What to expect?

A load of Bullsh!t

Speaking as a divorce lawyer, I think that pre-marriage counseling is a wonderful idea. It helps the couple confront and discuss issues that they will face later on in marriage. Big issues.

With today's epidemic of no-fault divorces, any steps that a couple can take to see if they are indeed right for each other before they are trapped in a marriage where they have "irreconcileable differences" with his/her partner are terrific.

It saves me a lot of work and a tremendous amount of paper. More importantly, it saves folks a tremendous amount of heartache.

 

[Chunkee]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

What to expect?

A load of Bullsh!t

Speaking as a divorce lawyer, I think that pre-marriage counseling is a wonderful idea. It helps the couple confront and discuss issues that they will face later on in marriage. Big issues.

With today's epidemic of no-fault divorces, any steps that a couple can take to see if they are indeed right for each other before they are trapped in a marriage where they have "irreconcileable differences" with his/her partner are terrific.

It saves me a lot of work and a tremendous amount of paper. More importantly, it saves folks a tremendous amount of heartache.

yes it does, GOOD FOR YOU BLUE WEASEL! Ignore the other morons here that are slighting it.

jC

 

[Budmantom]

I don't remember what we talked about but I do remember thinking that it wasn't as bad as I expected.


Tom

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

What to expect?

A load of Bullsh!t

Speaking as a divorce lawyer, I think that pre-marriage counseling is a wonderful idea. It helps the couple confront and discuss issues that they will face later on in marriage. Big issues.

With today's epidemic of no-fault divorces, any steps that a couple can take to see if they are indeed right for each other before they are trapped in a marriage where they have "irreconcileable differences" with his/her partner are terrific.

It saves me a lot of work and a tremendous amount of paper. More importantly, it saves folks a tremendous amount of heartache.

Hmm all I remember is my ex using the results given to us after the session to harangue the sh!t out of me.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

What to expect?

A load of Bullsh!t

Speaking as a divorce lawyer, I think that pre-marriage counseling is a wonderful idea. It helps the couple confront and discuss issues that they will face later on in marriage. Big issues.

With today's epidemic of no-fault divorces, any steps that a couple can take to see if they are indeed right for each other before they are trapped in a marriage where they have "irreconcileable differences" with his/her partner are terrific.

It saves me a lot of work and a tremendous amount of paper. More importantly, it saves folks a tremendous amount of heartache.

Hmm all I remember is my ex using the results given to us after the session to harangue the sh!t out of me.

You didn't write "I want sex 3 times a day" at the bottom of every page did you?

 

[JulesMaximus]

It is just a way for the minister to get to know you and for you and the future Mrs. Weasel to learn how to make your marriage/relationship work.

Just have some fun with it. It's no big deal.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Pre-Marriage Counseling And Wedding Policies
Qualifications and Approval

We believe the Scriptures teach that marriage is an institution established by God, and that it is a lifetime commitment. We also believe an understanding of the biblical foundation for marriage is essential for any couple considering marriage. For those requesting Pre-Marriage Counseling, asking to be married, or inquiring about the use of our facilities, we require:

1. Large donations to the Church so the ministers can continue driving there Cadilacs and live in nice big houses that boarder on being mansions.

FIXT for truth

 

[JDub02]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Pre-Marriage Counseling And Wedding Policies
Qualifications and Approval

We believe the Scriptures teach that marriage is an institution established by God, and that it is a lifetime commitment. We also believe an understanding of the biblical foundation for marriage is essential for any couple considering marriage. For those requesting Pre-Marriage Counseling, asking to be married, or inquiring about the use of our facilities, we require:

1. Large donations to the Church so the ministers can continue driving there Cadilacs and live in nice big houses that boarder on being mansions.

FIXT for truth

My dad's a pastor ... he drives a Dodge truck and lives in a split entry that he had built before starting the church. And this is for a 1200+ member church.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: BlueWeasel
I'm getting married in May and we have our first counseling session tonight. The Methodist minister who is doing the ceremony is handling the counseling sessions.

For those that have been to marriage counseling before, what was it like?

It's a trendy new thing...although I'm surprised that someone in the usually laid-back Methodist church would require it.

I think it's a good idea, although I think the term "counselling" is a bad term because it carries too much stigma. But a couple should definitely sit down beforehand and work out their goals and plans.

Anyway, I had to meet with my [Methodist] minister once prior to the wedding. He asked us our plans about having kids, raising them, solving problems, working as a team, etc. And he gave some anecdotes and advice and stuff. Methodist ministers are usually easygoing and he was no exception.

 

[jdub1107]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Pre-Marriage Counseling And Wedding Policies
Qualifications and Approval

We believe the Scriptures teach that marriage is an institution established by God, and that it is a lifetime commitment. We also believe an understanding of the biblical foundation for marriage is essential for any couple considering marriage. For those requesting Pre-Marriage Counseling, asking to be married, or inquiring about the use of our facilities, we require:

1. Large donations to the Church so the ministers can continue driving there Cadilacs and live in nice big houses that boarder on being mansions.

FIXT for truth

I don't know anyone that is involved with the church full-time that seems remotely wealthy.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Just make it clear from the beginning to your counselor that you come from a family who doesn't believe in divorce, although there is the occasional murder.

 

[tami]

i'm jewish and we had similar classes (i'm getting married in less than a week!), but they mostly revolved around the "jewish family" and how to do things within the marriage that are appropriate in jewish law.

HOWEVER, we also met with a financial planner and a therapist as part of the "pre-marriage counseling" as well. i've heard that in some municipalities, you can't get married without having successfully completed pre-marriage counseling of some sort. (i still have yet to hear of an actual area that enforces such a rule.)

in any event, we picked up some valuable information, but i've since forgotten just about everything.

 

[GrouchyLadybug]

We got a substantial discount on purchasing our marriage license because we attended premartial counseling. Be sure to check with your state and see if they offer the same kind of thing...if so, you have to get written proof (signed by your pastor/counselor) saying that you successfully completed counseling. Congrats on your upcoming wedding! 🙂

 

[Spike]

For those who don't know, pre-marriage counseling is required by some churches and just reccomended by others like ours. My wife and I decided to do it (of course, she was not my wife then) and we found it very helpful.

While we had been together for over 3 years when we started it, we still found out new things about each-other and about marriage as a whole. There were aspects of marriage we had not considered and had to think through. There were no real worksheets or homework, mostly discussion about our families, our goals, and our desires. It was kinda fun to have someone else push along some conversations that might have never happened on their own. Personally I consider it worth it.

-spike

 

[Uppsala9496]

I've completed 2/3 already. Have the last one in early May - wedding in June.
All we did is talk to the pastor and then took some personality test to make sure she and I are compatable. We've been living together for almost 3 years so, so there is no question that we are compatable.
It is more of a formality than anything. Neither one of us is really religous (haven't been to a service in well over 10 years). It wasn't as painful as I thought.

 

[Alex]

WTF dont get me wrong, im agnostic, but i think this is BS... specially after reading that long post right at the start...marriage should be a fun, devout commitment, not another weird religious things with tons of rules etc

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: franguinho
WTF dont get me wrong, im agnostic, but i think this is BS... specially after reading that long post right at the start...marriage should be a fun, devout commitment, not another weird religious things with tons of rules etc

So...don't get married in a church, then (why would you if you are agnostic?).