POST YOUR FRENCH JOKES HERE !!

[Richdog]

If anyone has any jokes concerning those cowardly wine-swilling, onion smelling, garlic chomping wimps post them here for a laugh.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A :Who knows, they've never tried!

Q: Why do the French hate Firework displays?
A: Because everytime one goes off people keep trying to surrender!

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in France?
A: Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin!

Tasteless but there you go...

 

Frenchie is going to rip you a new hole to defecate out of.

 

[mdennison]

Why do french people carry feces in their wallets?






















For Identification!

 

[Richdog]

All harmless fun no offence intended Frenchies... (ahem). Im British I can't help it, it's like a national sport over here!

 

[GoingUp]

My all time favorite is....


Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?


Because Germans like to march in the shade

Edited for spelling

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

Sorry, not really funny.

 

[Rogue]

What do you call a thousand French men with their hands in the air?




















an Army.

 

[Scarpozzi]

Why does the new French Navy have glass-bottomed boats?




















So they can see the Old French Navy.

 

[Czar]

this forum has reached its lowest form ever:disgust:

(not specificly related to this thread, there are alot of others)

 

[XZeroII]

hahaha. These are all great. I wish I knew some

 

[Richdog]

Hah, that Navy joke made me laugh!
And Czar, I don't hate the French, I just can't ignore 400 years of history and built up tension between us Brtis and the French, too many oppurtunities for having a laugh!

 

[Jimbo]

Shut up Cazr, go find an antiwar theard to jack off in.


What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead french man In the middle of the road?
There's skid marks In front of the skunk.

George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Parisian sauna. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound.
President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping stopped. The others looked curiously at him. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. "I have a microchip embedded under the skin of my forearm."

Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the ringing stopped. The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. I have a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand.

"By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of low-tech. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the sauna, but returned momentarily. When he returned, Bush and Blair both stared at him increduously.

It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Frenchman's posterior.

When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he feigned astonishment: "Marie sainte! I'm think I'm getting a fax."

 

[Czar]

Originally posted by: Richdog
Hah, that Navy joke made me laugh!
And Czar, I don't hate the French, I just can't ignore 400 years of history and built up tension between us Brtis and the French, too many oppurtunities for having a laugh!

ok, just that the trend on this forum is getting rather hateful

Jimbo,
thanks for showing your 6 year old maturity yet again

 

[Richdog]

Czar, just having a little fun, go find somewhere else to get all self-righteous. Like a thread concerning America's gun culture, that'd be a good start, leave us to our harmless fun...

 

[Richdog]

Jimbo, that joke is class lol!

 

[Jimbo]

Originally posted by: Richdog
Jimbo, that joke is class lol!

Thanks! Not bad for a six year old mentality.

 

[Jimbo]

Whats the best place to hide your money ?
A: Under the soap of a frenchman!

 

[Jimbo]

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."

Veni, Vermini, Vomui.

 

[ndee]

I'm wondering how they would react if would make some "American Jokes", etc.

 

[Matt]

Making fun of a neighbouring nation is a bit of national sport. For instance Canadian-US, British-French to mention a few.
I believe most countries do it.

To do it right now due to the fact that together the majority of the world's countries France has also chosen to oppose US invasion without UN support it seems a bit childish, doesn't it?
Seems like there are a few ppl out there who don't have enough solid arguments in favor of war and instead try to mock the opponent.

Kindergarten tactics in my opinion.

/Matt

 

[Richdog]

Honestly, what are you talking about tactics etc for? To be honest I couldnt care less if France bail out of a war or not, I may be making jokes and having a LAUGH but I don't hate the French, my family's got a holiday home there for god's sake! If you don't want to hear French jokes DONT READ THIS THREAD. Jeez, some people are a little TOO serious. And Jimbo, where are you getting these jokes from they're craking me up, I'll find some for tommorrow I think!

 

[308nato]

Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors ??














So they can see the war.

 

[Jimbo]

I notice that the only ones complaining are Europeans.

Czar
Ndee
Matt



We have already made our case for military action many times. You ignore them.

The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Pierre, it was rumoured, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.

Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Pierre showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."

The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what about the third condition. "Well," said Pierre, "you've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs."

 

[Jimbo]

A FRENCHMAN named Pierre was walking through the small town he lived in with a friend. He pointed to a row of houses and says, "You see those houses? I built those houses! But do they call me Pierre the Housebuilder..No" They walked along a bit futher, and he points to a number of boats in the harbour. "You see those boats ? I built those boats! But do they call me Pierre the Boat Builder? NO!" Then he turns to his friend and says "BUT MAKE LOVE TO JUST ONE GOAT AND YOU ARE LABELED FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[StageLeft]

Czar if you were French I can see your point, but just go along with the fun. I always laugh at Canada jokes, though admittedly there aren't as many as the french ones