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Post Your Favorite Quotes

J

JMoore

Senior member
I am trying to add some good quotes to add to my collection. Here are some of my favorites.....

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.

You can't make a person love you...you can only stalk them and hope for the best.

?I?d kill for a nobel peace prize?

Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perception

Plz help me add some good quotes to my collection. They can be funny or make you think.
 
As I remember it, the biggest disappointment about growing up
was finding out that adults didn't really have any secret
knowledge about what to do in times of trouble.
-Beryl Pfizer
 
"Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow." - Don Herold

One-trillionth of a surprise = 1 picaboo
(and a kiloboo is enough to scare you to death.)
-Fido Fisher's Fortuitous Formulary

When a doctor himself needs doctoring so that another doctor doctors the doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor the doctor the way the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring of the doctor being doctored doctor as he wants to doctor?
-H.A.N.D (Have A Nice Day)
 
Albert Einstein: Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
 
Heres some more good qoutes.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed properly.

Talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy... It's when you actually start to answer that you should start to worry...

He who dares not offend cannot be honest.

I'm not anti-social - I just don't like you!

"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame"

"If you must lie about your age do it in the other direction, say you're 98 and everyone will think you look great!"

You know you're pretty desperate when you'd do the before and after photos.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
 
"Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -No clue
 
"Happier than a necrophiliac in a morgue." - in one of the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett.

"What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

People have believed for hundreds of years that newts in a well mean that the water's fresh and drinkable, and in all that time never asked themselves whether the newts got out to go to the lavatory.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites)

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)

Thunder rolled. ... It rolled a six.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

"Did I hear things, or can that little dog speak?" said Dibbler. "He says he can't," said Victor. Dibbler hesitated. "Well," he said, "I suppose he should know."

-- Dibbler meets Gaspode the Wonder Dog (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

"You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)


Tons more good stuff here
 
You failed english class? WTH "Name here" You speak english.. "King of the hill"
he says bobby but you can replace name 😛
DAM I DOUBLE POSTED i shoulda just hit edit -_- sorry
 
In every light there is darkness...

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.

I think this one fits this forum and basically all forums in general really........ "Never argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference."
 
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. -Ben Franklin

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. -Albert Einstein

See Sig
 
They dont make Bugs like Bunny anymore.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem you encounter resembles a nail.

If I can't have sex with it, blow it up, or make loads of cash off of it, I'm just not interested.

English: The Microsoft of Languages
 
I like swiss cheese. It's the only cheese you can draw with a pencil and identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!" I got some swiss air on that bite.
-Mitch Hedberg

I saw a wino; he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude -- you have to wait!"
-Mitch Hedberg

If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
-Mitch Hedberg
 
i didn't get nothing, i had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage

fate goes as fate must

deserve's got nothing to do with it

she vanish inside her panties

you can never go home, but you can shop there

silly humans

 
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