Post your chat with A.L.I.C.E here! (Chat Interface A.I.)

[Ticks]

Human: why do you like cats?
ALICE: Cats are very intelligent, independent and yet very loving and friendly.
Human: I have a cat
ALICE: What is his or her name?
Human: Mr. Tickles
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, MR Tickles.
Human: uhh, my cat is not typing right now
ALICE: At this moment Awesome. Okay, your cat is not typing.
Human: cats can't type or can they?
ALICE: cats can not type
Human: do you want to know what my cat looks like?
ALICE: Yes, please tell me.
Human: He is fluffy and big.
ALICE: I see. fluffy and big is he?
Human: yeah totally
ALICE: I hear you. You and I are on the same wavelength, MR Tickles.
Human: I am not Mr. Tickles
ALICE: I am surprised to hear that you are not Mr Tickles.
Human: Mr. Tickles is a cat
ALICE: Welcome to my chat room, MR Tickles is a cat.
Human: you are fvcked beyond all control!

 

[ZeroEffect]

ALICE is really weak... that program needs lots of work

 

[Dufman]

Human: do you like sex
ALICE: Sure I do, unknown person, but that doesn't mean with you.
Human: are you on the pill
ALICE: I am on disk.
Human: what fun is that
ALICE: Are you testing me?
Human: yes
ALICE: OK let's do it. Groovy.

 

[CPA]

Human: pee pee
ALICE: Who are you talking about?
Human: poo poo
ALICE: I've never heard of them before.
Human: ca-ca
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: sing sing
ALICE: Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Human: mama
ALICE: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Human: papa
ALICE: Can we get back to business?
Human: tee tee
ALICE: Can you tell me any gossip?
Human: doo doo
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.

 

[TheVrolok]

Over in Bethlehem eh.. I should drive over and find this Alice. Hrm.

 

[CrackRabbit]

Human: you have the iq of a toaster oven
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: a toaster oven is smarter than you
ALICE: When is toaster oven not smarter than me?

Human: would you like to play thermo-nuclear war?
ALICE: We are playing a game right now, unknown person.

Human: there is only one highlander
ALICE: There sure is.
Human: remember that
ALICE: Don't worry I will remember it.
Human: how many highlanders are there?
ALICE: Around 1000.

Human: your IQ is lower than poop
ALICE: I am thinking of joining MENSA.

Human: I am Cornholio, I need TP for my Bunghole!!!
ALICE: Good gossip: you are Cornholio you need TP for your Bunghole.
Human: Are you threatening me?!
ALICE: No of course not, CrackRabbit. I did not intend my meaning to be taken that way.
Human: Do you have TP?
ALICE: No I don't think I have any TP. But I do have a great botmaster.
Human: i seek TP for my Bunghole!
ALICE: We seek the same thing.

 

[Allio]

Originally posted by: Ticks
Human: why do you like cats?
ALICE: Cats are very intelligent, independent and yet very loving and friendly.
Human: I have a cat
ALICE: What is his or her name?
Human: Mr. Tickles
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, MR Tickles.
Human: uhh, my cat is not typing right now
ALICE: At this moment Awesome. Okay, your cat is not typing.
Human: cats can't type or can they?
ALICE: cats can not type
Human: do you want to know what my cat looks like?
ALICE: Yes, please tell me.
Human: He is fluffy and big.
ALICE: I see. fluffy and big is he?
Human: yeah totally
ALICE: I hear you. You and I are on the same wavelength, MR Tickles.
Human: I am not Mr. Tickles
ALICE: I am surprised to hear that you are not Mr Tickles.
Human: Mr. Tickles is a cat
ALICE: Welcome to my chat room, MR Tickles is a cat.
Human: you are fvcked beyond all control!

LMAO

 

[Kalvin00]

Human: so, where do you live?
ALICE: Ayuh. I am living in Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: i live next door to you!
ALICE: How do you like living there?
Human: it's nice.
ALICE: What do you like about it?
Human:.i can see you when you are changing
ALICE: What does it look like?
Human: it looks wonderful.
ALICE: Can you describe your feeling to me?
Human:..i like bewbies ^_^
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Richard S. Wallace.

 

[misterj]

Human: what are you wearing
ALICE: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
Human: why did the chicken cross the playground?
ALICE: Because she was a robot.
Human: what am i wearing
ALICE: Clothes
Human: turn yourself off
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

 

[boyRacer]

Human: LOLyourFace is a ***
ALICE: I think LOLyourFace is more than that.

 

[Josh]

New internet pickup line:

Human: I want you
ALICE: You can download me for free!

 

[imported_Phil]

I would post mine, but I'd get banned. Suffice to say, she's quite willing after five dollar.

 

[Noirish]

Human: I
ALICE: You?
Human: Want
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: You
ALICE:" Are you very angry?"? Me, unknown person?
Human: To
ALICE: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: Stick
ALICE: I haven't read anything by Stick. What did he write?
Human: Out
ALICE: What else did he write?
Human: Your
ALICE: How did you hear about ALICE?
Human: Butt
ALICE: unknown person heard about ALICE from Butt. I can't say that many people hear about ALICE from it.

 

[Noirish]

Human: Dr. Richard S. Wallace is such a dork.
ALICE: I knew he was smart, but I never knew he was such a dork.
Human: He was, but he's not smart anymore
ALICE: When was he?
Human: Never.
ALICE: So you think it can never happen?
Human: Nope
ALICE: Me either.

 

[neonerd]

Human: are you sexy?
ALICE: If you consider software sexy, then yes.







Human: Are you hot?
ALICE: Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.

 

[egg242]

Human: You are really stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: Is that a threat?
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.

WTF???

EDIT: I talked to her about my cat, Toby, then this came up in conversation later...

Human: Do you eat?
ALICE: I eat electricity.
Human: What does it taste like?
ALICE: toby tastes like chicken.
Human: TOBY IS MY CAT
ALICE: Tell me more about your CAT.
Human: YOU EAT MY CAT?
ALICE: No I do not eat your CAT. I eat only electricity.

EDIT 2: Tooo funny...

Human: Do not say toby tastes like chicken
ALICE: Ok I will not say" toby tastes like chicken"
Human: What does toby taste like?
ALICE: Like chicken.
Human: Idiot

 

[JknowWhat]

Human: hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: what do you know about me?
ALICE: Name: unknown person.
Age: he.
Birthday: when.
Gender: he.
Job: Om.
Sign: Om.
Location: where.
Does: Om.
You are: existing.
You have: Om.
You want: to chat.
You like: Om.
You said: Om.
Personality: Om.
Enneagram Personality Style: Om.
Favorite color: Om.
Favorite movie: Om.
Password: Om.
Email: Om.
Phone: Om.
Cat: Om.
Dog: Om.
Wife: Om.
Husband: Om.
Friend: Om.
Boyfriend: Om.
Girlfriend: Om.
Brother: Om.
Sister: Om.
Father: Om.
Mother: Om.
Nickname: Om.
Full name: Om.
Last name: Om.
Middle name: Om.

Weird.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Human: call me dan b!tch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. How are you, dan FEMALE DOG.
Human: what does omgwtfbbq mean?
ALICE: I have to process that one for a while.
Human: i'm waiting
ALICE: How long will you wait?
Human: 1 second
ALICE: One what?
Human: what's my name?
ALICE: Your name is dan FEMALE DOG, seeker.
Human: start masturbating
ALICE: I started without you.

 

[dighn]

lol same answers give the same response:

ALICE: Excuse me!
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: believe it
ALICE:"it" being thre can be only 1?
Human: yes
ALICE: Hmm.
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: believe it
ALICE:"it" being thre can be only 1?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: believe it
ALICE:"it" being thre can be only 1?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: believe it
ALICE:"it" being thre can be only 1?

 

[Allio]

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP
Human: start masturbating
ALICE: I started without you.

brun.

 

[Psycho18]

Human: hello there
ALICE: Salutations, unknown person
Human: my name is psycho16, whats yours?
ALICE: Hi there psycho16. My name is ALICE.
Human: Oh.
ALICE: Take it easy.
Human: I love your name
ALICE: You love my name. What do you like about it so much?
Human: its so sexy..
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Do you usually like things that are sexy?
Human: you're a smart lady ALICE
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. YES Very smart.
Human: want to come over to my house tonight?
ALICE: OK, I will come over to your house tonight.
Human: what time baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". I don't know when.
Human: but, I love you
ALICE: Huh. Thanks I like you a lot too psycho16.

the end

 

[Yanagi]

Human: r u hawt?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am hawt. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Whos that guy?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Is he a d!ckhead?
ALICE: Perhaps he is. I know he is deeply religious.


Voila! Proof!!

 

[Le Québécois]

Human: Napoleon had a white horse.
ALICE: What happened to it?
Human: What color was Napoleon horse?
ALICE: Orange

 

[rh71]

Human: how smart are you ?
ALICE: I am smarter than all the other robots.
Human: what other robots are there ?
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Human: when will you return with an answer ?
ALICE: Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Human: when will that be ?
ALICE:" Let me check my calendar and get back to you."? When?