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Post your best Family Guy quotes!

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Brian (to Stewie): Say something!
Stewie: What? Oh, all right. "Yea, and God said to Abraham, 'You shall kill your son, Isaac.' And Abraham said, 'I'm sorry, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone.' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Jerry, cut the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss up here.'"

:laugh:

Dave
 
At a police auction:

Policeman: Our next item is a pair of panties taken from a hooker.
Quagmire: 50 bucks!
Policeman: She had 5 different kinds of STD's.
Quagmire: Uhh....45 bucks!
Policeman: And she urinated in them when we arrested her.
Quagmire: *thinking* 50 bucks!
 
Originally posted by: weirdichi
Peter: Sweet statuatory!

Anybody remember what episode that's from? I have the DVDs and I can't find it!!!
Click to expand...

Season 2, ep. 21 - "Let's go to the Hop"

Its the one when the kids are licking toads and Peter goes in disguise as a student and takes the popular girl, Connie to the prom. He says to to her parents.

:music: And you'll lose all control
Of your bladder, and your sphincter..
(That's your butth0le)!
:music:
 
The one episode where Peter becomes school board president has so many classic lines. From the "pedophile" conversation, to "eats babies", I'm always cracking up at it.

The best is when he's giving the tour to the TV cameras and they go into the classroom for Sex Ed.

"Vagina junction, what's your function?"

"Takin' in sperm, and spittin' out babies!"

Perfect Schoolhouse rock parody, with the conductor and everything.
 
The one where Peter goes all feminine and breastfeeds Stewie... and the look on Stewie when he finds out (and spits out a nipple hair).
 
Originally posted by: BroeBo
[looking at whales]
Chris Griffin: Dad, what's the blowhole for?
Peter Griffin: I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
Click to expand...

 
Originally posted by: weirdichi
Peter: Sweet statuatory!

Anybody remember what episode that's from? I have the DVDs and I can't find it!!!
Click to expand...

It's from the episode: Let's Go to the Hop
 
i like the one where joe brings over the swat vehicle to spy on loius, they climb in back and joe shows them how it arrests people. cleavland gets too close and it tries to arrest him, it starts to beat him with a night stick then it drops a gun next to him on the floor "he's got a gun"
 
I love the one when Peter narrates his own life. I forget it specifically but it ends with Lois whacking Peter with a frying pan and then he says, "I awoke several hours later"
 
Lois: Don't forget to take the presents out of the trunk!

Brian: Well, aren't you going to do it?

Peter: It's already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.

Brian: "All?" Peter, only one of them was for Toys for Toddlers. The rest were for the family.

Peter: No, they were from the family. Weren't they? Aw, crap! When did they change the meaning of "for" to "from?"

Brian: I think they had a meeting last night.

Peter: Well, why wasn't I told?

Brian: They sent you an invitation, but it said "For Peter", so you probably thought it was from yourself, so you didn't........ You know what, it's easier to just call you stupid!
 
brian: me llama es brian
mexican guy: hey! thats pretty good, but instead of me llama es brian you can just say me llama brian
brian: oh you speak english!
mexican guy: no actually i just know that last sentence and this one explaining it
brian: your kidding right?
mexican guy: que?
 
Lois: (talking about Julia Roberts) : "Have you seen the lips on that woman? the look like a baboon's ass"

also when peter pretends to be native american and he dances around the fire "im just burning doin the nuetron dance"
 
"Wait a second, your ass just sneezed! And horses can't talk! Oh no no no, nothing about this adds up at all!"
 
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