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PolyWHATnow?

Perknose

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Polyamory.

“It’s not as complicated as people make it sound,” Sanson insists. If you are unsure whether polyamory might suit you, try this simple thought experiment: does the thought of your partner in the first flushes of romantic ardour with another person fill you with contentment, lust, indifference, or murderous rage? If it’s the last one, best to swerve polyamory."

^^^ Yeah, though I support the right of other to define, and live, their relationships as they please, polyamory is not for me.

For the record, every "multiple partner" relationship I've ever seen has been one in which one partner had the decided edge in the power dynamic and the other partner meekly went along, taking what crumbs they could.

This does not mean all polyamorous relationships are like that, just that the ones I've anecdotally encountered in real life have been. Not one has lasted long, either. Hey, it's hard enough for two people to stay together. The challenge of trust among several people seems exponentially more difficult.

Again, I'm not "agin" others right to try and make polyamory work, but here's your moment of Zen:

Let's see if you can "spot the tool" in this picture below, kids! 😎

qoiNnAQ.png
 
I watched an MTV True Life episode about polyamory some number of years ago. It was pretty cool. Not for me, but if they're happy who cares. Taxes must be interesting.

Some of the guys who thought they would "like" it but didn't probably figured their girlfriend would find another girl or something like that, and vice versa. You have to be somewhat of a cuckold to be into it.
 
IronWing said:
I have three good friends who have been in a polyamorous relationship for decades. They built a house together and are quite happy.
Click to expand...
And this is why I support the right of folks to decide the parameters of their love lives for themselves. I just haven't personally seen one that works.
 
Yeah it's not terribly weird. I myself an not monogamous - i wouldnt cheat on the wife/gf because she'd go berserk, but in no way do i feel like that. I just dot get WHY someone would be angry if you're having sex with someone else. Man, go and have fun, it might broaden your mind (and your CENSORED) a bit.
 
Other than a very very few select men I have never understood why men would agree to an open relationship. The options/results are almost always skewed in the favor of the woman. Most moderately attractive women can absurdly easily get into the sack with men above their "rating". This goes 10X when they tell them that they are in an open relationship because, at least in their mind, they can end the "relationship" anytime they want without the normal baggage. It's basically just guilt-free banging for them.

OTOH, most women are looking for a relationship, so men telling a woman that they are in an open relationship even if they get past the normal females repulsion, the woman is really sure that there is no prospect of any long-term relationship. Sure there are some women would be happy to just bang but with no hope of a long-term relationship at all your prospects of banging AT your "level" are pretty damn slim. You're much more likely to be banging women a few numbers below your "rating". Now if you are a 10 in looks/personality/money your prospects could be wide open but those type of men are very rare. Sure you might find one woman near your "rating" but you won't have remotely close to the options that your significant other has.

What you thought was going to be an uber-happy fun and games time eventually leads to jealousy and contempt. And we haven't even talked about the times that couples wanted to spice things up and it led to one partner, usually the woman but definitely not always, leaving the significant other for the "new" guy. I say "new" because it is generally a relatively long relationship where it becomes less of an "open" relationship and more of her just having two partners exclusively. Then the rules start getting slightly broken and whittled away until the fights start happening and the relationship eventually dissolves.
 
Perknose said:
And this is why I support the right of folks to decide the parameters of their love lives for themselves. I just haven't personally seen one that works.
Click to expand...

Actually I bet you have, you just don't realize it. I'm talking about situations where they have an understanding where they can sleep with other people from time to time. That happens a fuckton more than people realize. There's also shitloads of married couples that are swingers too, few of them are open about it, especially if they have a career where that might get them some heat.
 
I remember meeting a college girl once who said her boyfriend and girlfriend were making it work.
Mutual friends told me it was a disaster from start to finish.
 
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