The Top 16 Fun Things to Do While Carrying the Olympic Torch
Use it to light joints for all the snowboarders.
Put on green robe, stand in harbor, welcome huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
Taunt Smokey the Bear.
Thrust it threateningly at Olympic officials who ask you to stop making s'mores over it.
Storm Ted Turner's castle and taunt him and his puny Goodwill Games.
See if your dog is brave enough to fetch it.
Carry an ice block in your other hand and create your own occluded front.
I don't know, but wearing a lot of hair spray isn't one of them.
Juggle with two identical torches -- see if they can guess which one is the real deal.
Knit it a small embarrassing torch sweater, and make the torch wear it during your whole run.
If you're carrying it through Kansas, set fire to a few books.
Carry it upside down (G. Gordon Liddy only).
Loudly demand, "Free Bird!" 😉
Stop off at Mount Rushmore and give all the nostrils a thorough cleaning.
Imagine hot girl-on-girl action. I'm sorry, what was the topic?
and the Number 1 Fun Thing to Do While Carrying the Olympic Torch...
Taunt Stone Age peoples unable to make fire.
😀