poll: if you accidentally killed someone, would you commit suicide?

[natty_nut22]

I'm actually in a similar dilemma myself.

I was at a party, had a shit nigHt, wanted to go back home. I was drunk. And inexcusably sad, and I DESPERATELY wanted to go back home. So I stupidly got a ride from someone who was drunk as well, I think they may have been high? Anyways.


We decided to go off the main road and into a backroad. It doesn't get used at all, but it's still a road + it was a shortcut

It was right next to a lake. No one was paying attention when suddenly a kid standing in the street, just staring at the car and then it hit him. He went over, and landed in the lake. Car stopped. I got out. My friends wanted to keep going but HOW THE HELL COULD ONE KEEO GOING?? So they fucking left, and I heard, his ragged breathing filling the night air. Jesus. I pulled him out of the lake and realized that I knew the kid. He had Down syndrome and was one of the kids I'd see when I volunteered at an organization.


Basically, I pulled his body out of the lake. His labored breathes stopped, but I didn't want to check if he still had a pulse because I wasn't scared. Ran to neigbbours, they called for help. He got taken to the hospital but I walked out before I saw what happened to him.


A few months later,


I flew back to the country. To right my wrongs but it was too late. He had died that night, turns out and I'm so scared to tell his family that I killed their only son (they were a poor family, he got buried in their garden).

They're broken, and they like me because they don't know what I've done.

Do I deserve to die? Or just to be in pain forever? Or never get a moment of peace?


Thoughts?

 

[TheGreatBigDog]

serious question that i was discussing with a couple friends.

a local kid turned left in front of an oncoming car. he was unhurt but a woman in that car was killed. supposedly he thought he had a left turn green light but he didn't. so he will probably get a few years in prison, a million-dollar-plus lawsuit against his family since it wasn't his vehicle, ostracism in the community and a life of regret.

me and my friends were talking about what he should do. one of them said his best course of action would be to kill himself - he has a duty to do to himself what he did to the victim. the other friend was horrified and said that nobody should kill themselves in a situation like that even if it was their fault.

i'm not sure what he should do. if i was in his situation, i think i'd seriously consider doing myself in. at least i think so. i wouldn't truly know unless it happened to me.

i've seen this happen once before, where a kid ran over a schoolteacher neighbor of mine who was walking down the road in the rain. he was actually cleared of wrongdoing because it was raining, but people still hated him for it. he started drinking and doing drugs - some said it was to cope, other said it was because he was a lowlife scumbag. about a year afterwards he got super smashed and high, puked while laying down, couldn't get up and drowned in his own vomit. most everyone felt he finally got what he deserved.

I would only commit suicide if the person I accidentally killed was myself.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I can't imagine how hard it would be to live with myself especially if it was my fault or partially my fault. On one hand, I would want to just fess up instead of trying to hide it. On the other hand, doing so would result in jail so then I would have trouble living with myself knowing I'd have freedom if I kept my mouth shut. I would be in a constant dilemma really. I honestly don't know what I'd do, but I don't think I'd commit suicide. I would probably just have to try to keep my mind off it, maybe do something drastic with my life to change the ideas, like move to another location and get a different job or something. I don't imagine it would be easy to simply forget something like that though.

 

[zinfamous]

Probably not, but depends on who(m) I accidentally kill.

 

[IronWing]

Probably not, but depends on who(m) I accidentally kill.

Dude, make up your mind, get off the fence, and choose.

Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Is it who or is it whom?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a grammar nazi, the most annoying prick in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

 

[Ajay]

Based on the number of murders I've committed in Fallout 4 - apparently I'm a psychopath, so no, I wouldn't kill myself.

 

[Red Storm]

Nope, I would not. I'd like to think the only situation where I would kill myself (or more accurately - definitely get myself killed) is by sacrificing my life to save someone else.

 

[soulcougher73]

No, its an accident. Even if on purpose you shouldnt commit suicide over that.

 

[Muadib]

There is never a good reason to kill yourself.

 

[Zeze]

I'm just surprised at the disconnect that OP even posed such illogical Q.

If you accidentally killed someone that's a manslaughter, not murder. You just go to jail for single digit years if lucky.

Why would you end your life entirely.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

There is never a good reason to kill yourself.

As someone who has seen relatives die horrible, excruciating deaths over the course of weeks/months due to terminal illnesses, I beg to differ.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

My brother’s best friend (let’s call him Bob) accidentally killed someone when they were in high school. One night, Bob and some other friends were out having a good time and fortunately, my brother couldn’t go. Anyway, it was late at night with a little fog and Bob was driving when they crossed the center line in a pretty rough curve and they hit another car head-on. There was only one person who was seriously injured - the passenger in the other car who was not wearing a seat belt and was thrown from the vehicle and killed. That person was a young mother and the police said she would have survived had she been wearing a seat belt, which was required by law at the time.

No drugs or alcohol were involved. I don’t remember how all the lawsuits worked out, but last I knew, Bob was happily married and had a family. He was a sensitive and good kid though and I’m sure he thinks about it every day and will for the rest of his life.

 

[KeithTalent]

Probably not, but depends on who(m) I accidentally kill.

This.

KT

 

[brianmanahan]

I'm just surprised at the disconnect that OP even posed such illogical Q.

If you accidentally killed someone that's a manslaughter, not murder. You just go to jail for single digit years if lucky.

Why would you end your life entirely.

because someone might realize they didn't just end one life, they destroyed many many others. and they might not be able to live with themselves because of that.

 

[Muse]

Don't be silly.

 

[Darwin333]

In an accident, no.

But the mf'ing drunk who killed 27 (mostly childen) when he rammed head-on into a school bus should have.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrollton_bus_collision

Damn, 24 kids and 3 adults burned alive on a bus and he served 11 years yet we have mandatory minimums of 30+ years for certain drug crimes. And you are right, I highly doubt that I'd be able to live with myself had that been me. I won't go so far as to say he should have offed himself just that I personally doubt that I could ever live with myself.

 

[DigDog]

if i t was accidental i wouldn't give 2 shishkebabs about it, it's accidental, it's out of my control.
if it was "it's kinda your fault, but the law won't prosecute you" (e.g. Hey BOB, let's jump into that pool full of crocodiles) i might feel bad about it, or i might not, depending on the person.

 

[Zeze]

because someone might realize they didn't just end one life, they destroyed many many others. and they might not be able to live with themselves because of that.

That's a good point and honestly quite beautiful - we need more empathy like that today.

But I'm sure those who were affected don't want you to suicide either. That'd bring even more pain and you'd be destroying even more lives around you. Therefore it's still illogical.

 

[Paratus]

One of the issues here is that in many cases of accidentally killing someone and suicide you aren’t exactly in a logical frame of mind. Alcohol, drugs, illness can all be direct causes of fatal accidents and/or suicide.

As an example that deeply affected the family of a friend of mine:

According to a witness, Alm and his best friend, Sean P. Lynch, had dinner at a Houston-area steakhouse on December 13, 1993. At 2:45 a.m. Central Standard Time the following day, Alm's Cadillac lost control heading south on Interstate 610 southbound at the 59 north exit ramp and Lynch was thrown out of the car, because the convertible top was down, to his death. Alm had been speeding and lost control of his 1993 Cadillac Eldorado on a curved exit ramp. After the crash Alm ran across the ramp and looked down an embankment towards the Southwest Freeway, discovering that his boyhood friend had been thrown to his death 30 feet below. Apparently distraught by his best friend's death, Alm took out a pistol grip shotgun, fired two shots into the air and then shot himself in the head.

Jeff Alm was a defensive tackle for the Houston Oilers. He and his friend had been out drinking the night he crashed. In Texas it’s legal to have a gun rack in your car. So while driving drunk he crashed his car killed his friend, and in his drunken distress has an easy way to kill himself.

 

[Raduque]

Honestly, if he's weak enough to kill himself over that, the world is better off without his poor genes.

 

[mindless1]

Sadly the way people answer and feel about this is going to depend largely on how good their life is, whether it be wealth, job, money, status, family, etc.

The more a person stands to lose, the more unbearable for them it will be to lose the thing(s) they value and worked for.

 

[AreaCode707]

I'm actually in a similar dilemma myself.

I was at a party, had a shit nigHt, wanted to go back home. I was drunk. And inexcusably sad, and I DESPERATELY wanted to go back home. So I stupidly got a ride from someone who was drunk as well, I think they may have been high? Anyways.


We decided to go off the main road and into a backroad. It doesn't get used at all, but it's still a road + it was a shortcut

It was right next to a lake. No one was paying attention when suddenly a kid standing in the street, just staring at the car and then it hit him. He went over, and landed in the lake. Car stopped. I got out. My friends wanted to keep going but HOW THE HELL COULD ONE KEEO GOING?? So they fucking left, and I heard, his ragged breathing filling the night air. Jesus. I pulled him out of the lake and realized that I knew the kid. He had Down syndrome and was one of the kids I'd see when I volunteered at an organization.


Basically, I pulled his body out of the lake. His labored breathes stopped, but I didn't want to check if he still had a pulse because I wasn't scared. Ran to neigbbours, they called for help. He got taken to the hospital but I walked out before I saw what happened to him.


A few months later,


I flew back to the country. To right my wrongs but it was too late. He had died that night, turns out and I'm so scared to tell his family that I killed their only son (they were a poor family, he got buried in their garden).

They're broken, and they like me because they don't know what I've done.

Do I deserve to die? Or just to be in pain forever? Or never get a moment of peace?


Thoughts?

That's an incredibly sad story. I'm really sorry that this is part of your life narrative.

So, first things first. Props for sticking around and doing what you could instead of running. Second things second. Walking out of the hospital is an understandable emotional response but wasn't the right thing to do.

What country was this in? One thing that jumps out at me is that the person you were with has not been involved at all. You are both a participant but also a witness. It's part of your responsibility to call law enforcement and share as much detail as you have about the night of the death.

I only have so much belief that you'll be able to shoulder this and do what you ought, so here's some secondary advice. Do what you can for the family, to support them and honor their son, even if you do that anonymously.

You don't deserve to die, and I'd honestly say you don't deserve to be in pain or lack peace forever. You do have a responsibility to come forward and give them closure, restitution and the full story, including the true culprit. In doing what you can to support the family I hope you can find some peace of your own.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Only selfish stupid people kill themselves.

A lot of people who kill themselves are not selfish or stupid.

Mostly, they are depressed and/or sick.
Often they think they are a burden to the world, and want to off themselves due to things like shame, regret, or feeling worthless.

Anybody who ever has considered suicide should have our sympathy and humility. Most people who attempt suicide fail. Most people don't try a second time.

 

[Linflas]

How about a definitive No option? If I accidentally killed someone killing myself would do nothing to remedy that therefore I would absolutely not commit suicide.

 

[pcgeek11]

A lot of people who kill themselves are not selfish or stupid.

Mostly, they are depressed and/or sick.
Often they think they are a burden to the world, and want to off themselves due to things like shame, regret, or feeling worthless.

Anybody who ever has considered suicide should have our sympathy and humility. Most people who attempt suicide fail. Most people don't try a second time.

You are entitled to your opinion and I mine.