Poll: Do You/Will You/Would You Spank your kids?

[johnjohn320]

Lots of threads I see about 'kids of today' and whatnot turn into debates on spanking.

I was spanked as a kid, and I would/will spank my own kids, if and when I have them. Anybody who says it's abuse or "cruel" either is too much of a softy or doesn't understand that spanking does not mean you beat the sh!t out of them with all the strength you can muster.

Kids won't understand "now, let's talk about why what you were doing was wrong" until they're older. I see physical punishment as the only way that really works. I babysit some kids sometimes, who have never been spanked in their lives, and man, they have no respect, they don't do what they're told, etc etc. It just seems that kids who are/were spanked seem to know what discipline is a bit better, and aren't generally spoiled rotten brats.

Ok, debate away!

 

[db]

I think it's funny how some people want to take the extreme position that any spanking whatsoever is abuse.

You could also say that letting a kid do whatever they want without effective restraint is child neglect.

Let's say your young child who can't walk yet is crawling under the table. They are about to sit up under the table which is too low. You see this and know they are
going to hit their head. What do you do?

Do you run over and put your hand over their head to cushion the blow? Do you rescue them so they don't get hurt? Or do you reluctuntly watch, making sure nothing Serious will happen, and let them hit their head?

If you let them hit their head, they will learn quickly not to stand up under a short table. If you constantly try to run interference for them what will happen?

 

[VirusDub]

I would rather not spank my kids, but I definitely would if they got out of line.

 

[Danman]

If they went way over the line, yes, but I would think they would know better.

 

[LordMaul]

Yes. If they get out of line, out comes the leather strap.

 

[johnjohn320]

<< If they went way over the line, yes, but I would think they would know better >>



But see, that's just the thing, they don't know better. You can't look at kids and assume they have logic like you, nor can you assume they had the logic that you *remember* having at their age. No matter how logical you think you were at age whatever, you weren't, and they aren't either.

 

[Evadman]

Yes they will get spanked. Telling a child "no" or giving them a "time out" does not work. I have seen from experence.

 

[freebee]

Well i used to spank my younger cousin who was bad all the time, until he started yelling "harder, you sexy thing, you". I quit disciplining kids after that incident.

 

[VirusDub]

<< But see, that's just the thing, they don't know better. You can't look at kids and assume they have logic like you, nor can you assume they had the logic that you *remember* having at their age. No matter how logical you think you were at age whatever, you weren't, and they aren't either. >>

Which is exactly why you make a point of continuously instilling the boundaries of right and wrong in your kids. If they still don't get it, spanking might help.

 

[Eli]

Nope.. I don't have kids, but when I do.. I won't spank them.. I was never spanked..

 

[XMan]

My parents lit my ass up when I screwed up. And you know what? After a while you start thinking when you're about to do something . .. "My parents are going to find out about this, and I'm gonna get lit up. Screw that, I'm gonna go do my homework."

I think after a certain age, though, it's pointless. I think the last time I got paddled I was 9 or so. From then on I just got grounded/had privileges revoked.

I see no problem with raising my kids the same way.

 

[johnjohn320]

<< << But see, that's just the thing, they don't know better. You can't look at kids and assume they have logic like you, nor can you assume they had the logic that you *remember* having at their age. No matter how logical you think you were at age whatever, you weren't, and they aren't either. >>

Which is exactly why you make a point of continuously instilling the boundaries of right and wrong in your kids. If they still don't get it, spanking might help. >>



Yeah, I don't think they will get it until you spank them. When they get older, they understand why they shouldn't do whatever it is they did, but for now, they will only understand that if they do it they get spanked, so they wont do it.

 

[Geekbabe]

I have 3 kids two of em grown, I spanked my eldest a time or two it's how things were done back then but it didn't sit
right with me.. I mean a big person wailing on a little person ?

At any rate, I decided to go another way with things, using time outs and reasoning power, My 18 and 15 yr old I've never laid a finger on, my way for sure isn't the only way, lord knows it wasn't the easy way but I'm sorry , the thought of physically assaulting the people I love best in this world was just not something tolerable to me.

Oh and all 3 of them are delightful young people who are fine ,productive members of the community

 

[db]

My daughter learned early that if she did what she knew she wasn't supposed to (cuz we had told her for her own safety), she would get spanked.
Guess what? She got the message and didn't get spanked past the age of 3.

 

[VirusDub]

<< Yeah, I don't think they will get it until you spank them. When they get older, they understand why they shouldn't do whatever it is they did, but for now, they will only understand that if they do it they get spanked, so they wont do it. >>

That's a pretty hefty generalization. It's very possible for kids to be raised as upstanding citizens without spanking. It's also possible for kids who are spanked to be miscreants. My cousins, for example, were spanked when they did something they shouldn't have, and they still haven't learned their lesson (they're 16, 18, and 20).

 

[Murphyrulez]

I spank my son. I don't light him up, I don't wail on him. If he bites me, I give him a small slap on the mouth. If he doesn't listen, talks back, or does something I tell him not to, he get one smack on the bottom, usually not very hard. But the tone of my voice, the look on my face, and the fact that I hit him is enough to start him crying and telling me he is sorry. I have tested my theory, and when I am playing with him on the floor, wrestling, I will smack his bum harder than when I am spanking him, and he laughs and thinks it is funny. It is the seriousness of the spanking that has the effect, not the pain, at least at his age.

 

[db]

This is such a wide open area. One person might think it's ok to spank if a life-threatening rule has been broken.
Another person might think a spanking is due if proper respect hasn't been shown.
So there are, imho, appropriate and inapproptiate reasons for spanking.

 

[UofI]

I would if I have children in the future.

 

[NeoV]

Murphy, I couldn't agree more

Kids that are 14 or older and still don't get it may or may not have been spanked as children, but there are obviously other factors involved with those kids...spanking does not always equal discipline.

 

[Pundit]

I am shocked at all of you! You may think that negative reinforcement is a good idea, but all it does is preclude your child from being rational in a similar situation in the future. If your child goes to touch something very hot on the stove and you slap his hand away, your child will develop a mental problem that relates to stoves, pots, etc. You are doing more harm than good when you hit your child. And let's stop using euphemisms. You are hitting your child, not spanking them.

You should think of children as a blank slate. Anything they pick up from their parents will be written on that slate. Anything action they perform, they do so because they believe it to yield pleasure and there is nothing wrong with that. The amount of people in this thread that hit their children deeply frightens me to the point that I can feel it in my chest.

I challenge anybody to put forth a logical theory as to why hitting children helps them.

 

[amdskip]

heck ya!

 

[Yeeny]

I have occasionally spanked my children, but it is very very rare in my home, and only over the most serious of situations. And now, they don't ever get spanked, they are all getting older, so I can talk to them now, which makes a big difference. And I do not regret popping my son once on the butt for running towards the road, or trying to reach onto the stove.

If your child goes to touch something very hot on the stove and you slap his hand away, your child will develop a mental problem that relates to stoves, pots, etc.

Not to poke fun, but that just cracked me up, I am sorry. I have this image of a guy in his thirties, talking to his wife. "Don't make me touch the stove, mommy says its bad, noooo, don't do it!" I think I need sleep.

 

[Pundit]

<< I have this image of a guy in his thirties, talking to his wife. "Don't make me touch the stove, mommy says its bad, noooo, don't do it!" I think I need sleep. >>



rotfl, now i'm laughing

But I have to ask, does anybody really believe that if a child knew the potential danger of running into a busy road, he would do so? C'mon!

 

[Imdmn04]

depend on the kid's personality.
some kid might be very sturbbon that it doesnt matter how many times or how hard you spank them, they'll still do it just to piss you off.
but their personality development is affected by their surrounding environment, so if they are sturbbon enough to get spanked again and again, it just might be the parents' fault to begin with.

 

[tm37]

My son is very stubborn (got it from Me so my wife says)

He knows when I get up a swat is coming, he ususually straightens out.

I have used the belt TWICE and it's true it hurts the parent more than the kid.