Yea, I can dribble, but mostly just from my mouth while i'm trying to concentrate on not losing the basketball. I am the worst ball player ever.
One time I was at a raquetball club and was with a friend. Two guys came up and asked if we wanted to play a little two on two, so my friend, not knowing my mad b-ball skilz, tells them yep, and starts trash talking before we get on the court.
I embarrassed him thoroughly, and embarrassed myself even worse. I was knocking the other guys down to keep the ball. It was like a combination between a scene from Sunday night football and the Harlem Globetrotters with that kid who always got picked last playing star forward, rather than a game of two on two. I had never so much as touched a basketball, not ever, besides just dribbleing when I was a kid, enough to know how bad I sucked at it and never to try on the court.
After about five minutes of my courtside antics the guys were laughing at me so hard they had to forfeit the game if I recall correctly.
My friend was truly embarrassed for the both of us, and I was never again asked to play basketball, not that I ever cared to in the first place.