I often use complicated sentences and talk about ideas that are not commonplace. Mostly, it's just me, and I hate how much work I have to do to translate my thinking for the sake of others. But if you're genuinely curious, I'm happy to go through the effort.
What I'm saying is that I agree that the self-hate problem is universal. And that problem is part of all societies, cultures, laws, religions, etc. to at least some degree. I see the same problem that you do. But I don't think the self-hate really has anything to do with society itself. That's because generations of choices have woven it into our society by choice. And it makes sense to do so. As you say, if it's a society problem, especially if we can talk about other people who are bad instead of ourselves, we can avoid the pain of looking inside.
But what I am also saying is that, in looking to do better as a society, I don't think we really have to individually heal our own self-hate. I think we can make choices in our society to keep the idea of absolute morality away. If we do, we will tear down there most convenient and socially acceptable apparatuses to project our self hate. People will, at that point, be required to look inside and reconcile their shame and guilt if they want escape. That would be a good thing, and I'll be there to help anyone who comes to my door.