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POLL: Bachelors, would you date a woman with a child?

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.


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<< There is this girl at work and i am attracted to her. I am pretty sure she has a little boy too. I don't mind this because i had nephews and nieces growing up (i have MUCH older siblings) so i am used to being around younger kids (her boy looks to be about 2 or 3). Just wondering what all you bachelors out there think....

OH and i know you married guys are out there too...😛 >>




The real question is will she want to date you ?


Most single mothers I know are really busy with work and guard what free time they have carefully to spend with their kids.A guy has to be something really special to get a place on the schedule, even for casual dating. >>



yeah she probably doesn't even want to date me anyway, but i thought i would be an interesting poll and question. >>




You don't know that she won't want to date you till you ask.. I'm just asking you to remember that if you act like you are doing her some sort of favor by overlooking the fact that she's got a kid you'll strike out so fast your head will spin 🙂
 


<<

<< Sorry, I am only going to look after my own seed. >>

That's why you spend most of your time spilling it on your hands? >>




BBWWWWWAAAAHHHHHHH!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!! 😀
 


<< << Sorry, I am only going to look after my own seed. >>
That's why you spend most of your time spilling it on your hands? >>



H0H0H0.
 


<< You don't know that she won't want to date you till you ask.. I'm just asking you to remember that if you act like you are doing her some sort of favor by overlooking the fact that she's got a kid you'll strike out so fast your head will spin 🙂 >>



of this i am aware, i would never act like that. thanks for the advice though 😉
 
After reading the replies and some thought, I still maintain my yes vote, but I admit that if I was younger (early 20's) I might vote differently.

- TK
 


<<

<< You don't know that she won't want to date you till you ask.. I'm just asking you to remember that if you act like you are doing her some sort of favor by overlooking the fact that she's got a kid you'll strike out so fast your head will spin 🙂 >>



of this i am aware, i would never act like that. thanks for the advice though 😉 >>



Just be yourself, concentrate on getting to know her and when the time is right on developing a relationship with the child
you'll do fine I'm sure 🙂
 
No problems with it here. Of course, being divorced and a few years older then the average age on these forums, finding a woman without kids that is my age, is uncommon. Usually they either are divorced with kids or never married.

A child doesn't bother me. Now two or more kids...I'd have to think about that.
 
Oh sure, the way some of you guys are, you want us to be your mommies, but how dare we be one to someone else. 😉

But seriously, if you are going to date a woman with a child, you have to be realistic. Spontaneity isn't going to be one of her strong points, and dating will be when and where she can get a babysitter, thats if she can afford one. And meeting her child most of the time won't really happen unless you two start getting serious, most moms don't want their kids meeting guys who in all reality might end up being nothing more than one date. Too confusing for the kids. But, if you really like her, and she is worth being patient for, it could work. Don't just throw a woman aside because she made a mistake. You men can walk away from your mistakes in life alot easier than we can, so don't be too quick to condemn us.
 


<<

<< Sorry, I am only going to look after my own seed. >>

That's why you spend most of your time spilling it on your hands? >>



Okay Red, now I've spit my diet Pepsi all over the place. LMAO - that has got sig line written all over it.

I'd date a guy with kids, and I'd date a guy without kids. Until you meet the person, it's awfully hard to generalize about whether or not you'd ever look after someone else's "seed."

If the guy has a daughter, that's a bonus. 😀 My son hates it when I try to get him to play dollies with me.
 
sure i would. i have dated several women in the past with kids and at the time i really wanted nothing to do with kids. but it's just a date or maybe a little more; there's no commitment at that point. you should be asking yourself this question if and when things become a little more serious.
 
i dated & married a woman with 2 children. it helped that the kids hated their natural father & that he lived in another state.
 
Yes, I would; yes, I have, and yes, I would do it again. In fact, she wants to get back together with me. She's a little hottie (yes, even with 2 kids, sorry no pics), and the kids are great 🙂 She lives kind of far away, though.. but I think she just might be worth it.

(Have to break up with current g/f first, though.)
 


<< finding a woman without kids that is my age, is uncommon. >>



Ain't that the truth. Of course, if they're my age, the kids are usually grown and gone.

I've dated quite a few women with children, even lived with a couple. I think that women with kids have a tendency to be more mature, wiser and more realistic about life in general. That's a nice bonus, since I don't feel like training.🙂

Matter of fact, if I ever went completely insane and decided to get married again, I would prefer that it be a woman who already had children. That way, when the inevitable divorce occurs, no child support!

Russ, NCNE
 
That way, when the inevitable divorce occurs, no child support!

i'm pretty sure there are at least a few states where even if you are not their natural father, if they determine that the child has formed some sort of attachment to you, you can still be forced to pay child support. i've heard of cases where even a BF (not husband) has been made to pay child support. scary sh!t. it's why i would never never never even consider it.
 
Gopunk,

Not if the prenupt stipulates otherwise. And, there WOULD be a prenupt. No way I'm getting screwed again.

Russ, NCNE
 


<< Gopunk,
Not if the prenupt stipulates otherwise. And, there WOULD be a prenupt. No way I'm getting screwed again. >>



are you sure about that? i heard that child support agreements in prenups was something that courts were not bound to.
 
It depends on the woman....I wouldn't date a prostitute with a child. But i'd date a nice woman who had a long term relationship with someone and then they broke up. It depends on the woman and the child.
 


<< i heard that child support agreements in prenups was something that courts were not bound to. >>



They certainly are bound to it when the husband did not father the children. The ONLY reason any guy gets stuck with paying child support for kids that aren't his is because the ex-wife hired a slick attorney, they got the right idiot judge, and there was no previous stipulation to the contrary.

Russ, NCNE

 


<< That way, when the inevitable divorce occurs, no child support!

i'm pretty sure there are at least a few states where even if you are not their natural father, if they determine that the child has formed some sort of attachment to you, you can still be forced to pay child support. i've heard of cases where even a BF (not husband) has been made to pay child support. scary sh!t. it's why i would never never never even consider it. >>



Usually those cases are when you are with the woman for a very long time, and allow the child to call you their father. And if you allow a child to call you daddy, and raise him/her as such (same goes for women) then you shouldn't just walk out of their lives without a backwards glance. You are just as much of a parent as someone who was there the day they were born. Especially if the child has no other father/mother figure in their life, that is an awful blow for them to deal with.

That said, any woman who lets her children call someone daddy when they barely know them make me sick. I have seen it so many times, especially where I live. Date a guy for a month, hes daddy. Then end it for whatever reason and move on to the next. I just don't get women like that.
 
russ - i certainly hope that's the case. i'm still going to play it safe though. there was a time when sperm donor's thought that their names were confidential. i wouldn't put it above the courts to screw guys over once more. have you heard about the case where a guy's wife was cheating on him, had the child of the other guy, and when they got divorced, the husband had to pay child support? that makes no sense to me.

Usually those cases are when you are with the woman for a very long time, and allow the child to call you their father. And if you allow a child to call you daddy, and raise him/her as such (same goes for women) then you shouldn't just walk out of their lives without a backwards glance. You are just as much of a parent as someone who was there the day they were born. Especially if the child has no other father/mother figure in their life, that is an awful blow for them to deal with.

yes, but i don't see how child support is going to make you give them any more of a glance. it's just money. i agree, you should not just walk out of their lives, you should still be there for the child. but, unless you've adopted those children, the natural father is still paying child support (as he should be), so it doesn't make sense for the new guy to have to pay it.

That said, any woman who lets her children call someone daddy when they barely know them make me sick. I have seen it so many times, especially where I live. Date a guy for a month, hes daddy. Then end it for whatever reason and move on to the next. I just don't get women like that.

i get them... it's because they come from f*cked up families themselves. i really wish people would THINK more before pumping out children.
 


<< i really wish people would THINK more before pumping out children. >>


Hormones and head do not mix well.😛



Russ

Givin the tone of some of your comments, is sounds like you may have been screwed over:Q, however from whatI have seen of your rep here on AT I do not see how that could have happened😕
 
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