Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

[LeiZaK]

Oh... the world seems in tune on a Spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park!

 

[nakedfrog]

I haven't heard that song in years...

 

[GagHalfrunt]

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few we take home to experiment...

Tom Lehrer is a genius.

 

[jadinolf]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I haven't heard that song in years...

I'd like to hear him hum it, at least.

 

[Goosemaster]

lol

 

[Sundog]

Originally posted by: LeiZaK
Oh... the world seems in tune on a Spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park!

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few we take home to experiment...

And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two,
When we're poisening pigeons in the park...

 

[keeleysam]

When they see us coming the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still eat the peanuts when coated with cyanide!

🙂

 

[Sundog]

Originally posted by: keeleysam
When they see us coming the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still eat the peanuts when coated with cyanide!

🙂

Weve gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the audubon society
With our games.
They call it impiety,
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But its not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon

 

[Harvey]

Ahhh... Tom Lehrer is a funny guy. :laugh:

Here's another of my favorites.

Be Prepared

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' marching song,
Be prepared! As through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well.
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.

Be prepared! To hide that pack of cigarettes.
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets.
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure that they will not be found,
And be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around,**
For he only will insist that they be shared, be prepared!

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed,
Be prepared! And be clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Be prepared! And be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared. Be prepared!

I wonder if he had half of OT in mind when he wrote that line,

"Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell." 😎

 

[Paratus]

Fight Feircely Harvard
Fight Fight Fight
Impress them with our prowess a do..

And of course The Elemets.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Everyone has left out Lehrer's best song so far:

Smut


Give me smut and nothing but!
A dirty novel I can't shut,
If it's uncut,
and unsubt- le.

I've never quibbled
If it was ribald,
I would devour where others merely nibbled.
As the judge remarked the day that he
acquitted my Aunt Hortense,
"To be smut
It must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance."

Por-
Nographic pictures I adore.
Indecent magazines galore,
I like them more
If they're hard core.

Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties,
samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything!
More, more, I'm still not satisfied!

Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers,
Lurid, licentious, and vile,
Make me smile.
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime.
(Let's face it, I love slime.)

All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder,
For filth (I'm glad to say) is in
the mind of the beholder.
When correctly viewed,
Everything is lewd.
I could tell you things about Peter Pan,
And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man!

I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill,
And I suppose I always will,
If it is swill
And really fil
thy.

Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?
I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley.
But now they're trying to take it all
away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
we fight for freedom of the press.
In other words,

Smut! (I love it)
Ah, the adventures of a slut.
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut,
I don't know what
Compares with smut.

Hip hip hooray!
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court!
Don't let them take it away!