Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable here

[Adam8281]

Here's my e-mail exchange with a fellow interested in some RAM I'm selling. He has 2 posts on Anandtech, 5 for 5 positive heatware, and 43 for 43 positive eBay (his name taken out for privacy) For the record, my heatware is 16 for 16, and eBay is 500 positive.

HIS FIRST E-MAIL TO ME:

Hey bro


Your selling 4 gigs of the exact ram im looking for, Super Talent
DDR2-677. If you could ship me one stick of the ram so I can test it
out before i buy all 4 I will make paypal payment. Heat is under
****** and ebay under ******. LMK

******


MY FIRST RESPONSE TO HIM:

Sure, I'm fine with that. Of course, I would need you to pay for the 1
stick before I sent it, which would be $60 shipped. If you then wanted the
other 3, I would sell you them for $150 shipped. (So that would be a total
of $210 for the 4 gigs; $5 more than the $205 that my post says, but the
extra $5 is because I would be paying for postage twice.) If you are
interested you can PayPal me the money at ********@gmail.com and I'll have
it in the mail Monday. Oh, but please only send PayPal payment if you have
a confirmed address so that I'm eligible for seller protection. If you
don't have a confirmed address with PayPal then I'd request payment via
money order, in which case I would need to wait for it to clear before I
shipped the RAM. Anyway, let me know what you want to do. Thanks for
inquiring

Adam


HIS FIRST RESPONSE BACK TO ME:

The whole point is for me to test the ram and see if its compatible
with my DFI AM2 mobo. I would like to avoid the process of a refund
and return shipping. Like I said, I have good references and am a
trusted seller/buyer. Please LMK


MY RESPONSE TO THIS:

Oh, I've got you. Sorry though, I'm not willing to send you the RAM without
being paid first. As far as not wanting to worry about refunds and return
shipping, refunds are a cinch with PayPal, all I have to do is hit one
button And whether you pay me first or not, if the RAM doesn't work
we'll still have to deal with return shipping. So I guess I don't really
see what good reason there is for sending you the RAM without being paid
first. Sorry if this kills the deal for you, and it's nothing against you
personally. I see you do have good feedback, but I've learned the hard way
not to take risks like this, since I've been burned before with even better
feedback than yours. CYA as they say Thanks


HIS FOLLOWING RESPONSE (HERE'S WHERE I START TO WONDER, 'AM I REALLY BEING UNREASONABLE'?):

dude..im NOT freaking gonna steal your ram. The worst Ill do is send
it back to you. Im tired of people saying "sorry, Ive learned the hard
way" or "sorry, ive been ripped off too many times". Well what about
the buyer? Dont you think Ive been ripped off many times as well?
Buying from you is more of a risk than you selling it to me. I dont
know whether you know what DFI mobos are but they are picky. Just give
me ONE chance to see if the ram is good. Ill come back for the other 3
gigs. Its not like one gig will work but 4 wont. Please consider my
offer. I can give you my phone number so we can discuss it in person.
To me thats a much better gurantee.


AND MY LATEST RESPONSE:

Sorry, I'm not going to do it. I just don't see what the big deal is about
asking you to put some security down on the RAM before I send it. By my
thinking I just can't see how it's unreasonable of me to not want to ship
the RAM off purely on the basis of good faith to someone I've never met. I
appreciate you offering your phone number, that certainly does speak in your
credit, but that still doesn't make me willing to do this. And frankly, the
fact that you're this averse to putting any security down on the "loan" of
the RAM doesn't exactly put me more at ease. Where else in life do you
borrow something from a seller, putting $0 down, with the option to buy?
And what if the RAM doesn't work in your system? Now the sealed RAM I'm
selling is no longer sealed, and on top of that I've paid to ship it to you.
Sorry, but if my position strikes you as unreasonable, then I think we're
better off not doing business. Please understand, it's not that I don't
trust you, but I just don't see a compelling reason to shoulder the risk of
sending the RAM unsecured. I know I'm probably not convincing you, and my
position isn't going to change, and so we don't just go back and forth
arguing, let's just amicably end it right here with this e-mail. Sorry I
can't give you what you want, but I wish you luck in finding some good RAM
for your board.

Adam


--------------------------------

So that's where we're at. Tell me I'm not being a jerk here

 

[xtknight]

I stopped reading at "hey bro" and "your"

I think you handled it amazingly well though. I probably would have just ignored the guy but at least you taught him his lesson. If he seemed like a nice person and had great feedback there's a vague possibility I'd consider it. When they're sending me letters that practically sound like threats, no thanks.

 

[jpeyton]

Nobody is in the wrong here.

Just depends on whether you want to go the extra mile for a sale, or be on the safe side.

 

[l6873]

Originally posted by: xtknight
I stopped reading at "hey bro" and "your"

I stopped reading at the missing period.

 

[Koing]

The guy is a JOKER. What crack is he on!

No, your not being unreasonble at all.

Koing

 

[Tiamat]

they guy can just buy it from newegg or whatnot. If the transaction isn't comfortable, then obviously dont get involved at all. You did nothing wrong. I wouldn't send anything unless I received payment first no matter what heat or ebay feedback or whatever was -- of course if you trust the guy, cross-shipping is ok too.

 

[DaveSimmons]

> He has 2 posts on Anandtech, 5 for 5 positive heatware

If those were 2,000 and 50 I'd certainly consider it, but 2 and 5? Not a chance.

 

[dighn]

I think you wasted an unreasonable amount of time on that.

 

[kranky]

You're not being unreasonable. I don't blame him for asking (for all I know, you both have exchanged dozens of PMs over the years and he's not a complete unknown to you) but once you declined, that's it.

Frankly, his reasons ("I would like to avoid the process of a refund and return shipping") don't make sense because, as you said, the RAM would have to be returned anyway if it doesn't work.

Although it would have been better to skip the "been ripped off too many times" as that sounds like you think the buyer is up to no good. In the future, just say "Sorry, I will need payment before I can ship" and don't feel like you have to explain. Any normal person will understand completely.

Heck, on another board I use people sell items worth thousands of dollars to each other and even when the people have met in person many times over a period of years, it's typical to get paid up front. Some do ship "on approval" but no one throws a fit if the seller doesn't want to. In fact, in most cases, that only happens when the seller OFFERS to ship on approval. It's kind of rude to ask for it as the buyer.

 

[Adam8281]

Yeah, I probably did spend too much time. Comes from being a philosophy student and wanting to explain everything in the clearest terms I should really get over that (then again, I start law school in the fall, so maybe I shouldn't)

 

[Leros]

Sounds like he wants one stick of free ram.

 

[mpitts]

Just tell him no. It's completely unreasonable to expect someone to ship them an item to "test" it.

If he doesn't like it tell him to pound sand.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: dighn
I think you wasted an unreasonable amount of time on that.

qft.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

You spent too much time on your emails - you're the seller and he's the buyer, make an offer and he can either agree, or forget it. He's not even recommending a compromise at all or saying why you should change your policy.

Forget it, move on to another buyer.

 

[Jmman]

I don't know any seller that would do what he is asking. Sounds like a good trader to put on your IGNORE list......

 

[grohl]

yeah, just say no thanks and dont waste anymore time on it.