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Please shut up!

ToeStub

Banned
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY WON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"


"Only when he's been drinking."

 
A cop pulls a woman over for speeding and approaches her vehicle to gather her information to issue a ticket. Upon reaching the window, the woman asks the officer, "Officer, did you pull me over to offer me tickets to the Policeman's Ball?" The officer quickly and sternly replies, "No ma'am. Police officers don't have balls, I pulled you over for speeding." The woman smiles and the officer blushes when he realizes what he just said. He immediately tells her to stop speeding and be on her way.

This was told to me as a true story, haven't confirmed it yet. Just thought I'd add it to the thread. Thought it was funny.
 
Originally posted by: Rogue
A cop pulls a woman over for speeding and approaches her vehicle to gather her information to issue a ticket. Upon reaching the window, the woman asks the officer, "Officer, did you pull me over to offer me tickets to the Policeman's Ball?" The officer quickly and sternly replies, "No ma'am. Police officers don't have balls, I pulled you over for speeding." The woman smiles and the officer blushes when he realizes what he just said. He immediately tells her to stop speeding and be on her way.

This was told to me as a true story, haven't confirmed it yet. Just thought I'd add it to the thread. Thought it was funny.

I think we all heard this one..I know I have
 
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