- Sep 12, 2001
- 48,518
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Short story:
My parents have been married for almost 22 years. We currently live in Florida. I'm the oldest of five (21), so I'm usually the one my mother talks to if she has a problem..my dad doesn't listen/care.
Back in the end of 2003, my mother, myself, and my siblings (three sisters, one brother) moved to NJ due to relationship issues with my dad -- he never really cared much about his kids..everything was about him, etc. We moved back to FL after three months, and things were better for a short time.
Incidentally, multiple people have been saying how something's not right with our family -- my aunt (she's a doctor) said that we were emotionally abused...friends of ours could see that something wasn't right.
However, my mother has been doing some research -- she found a website (or a book..can't recall) which listed nine criteria that may be in present in narcissistic people -- he has all of them.
She has also found that she is co-dependent..and my dad has been 'feeding' off of her codependence. She is trying to break out of it now. She is much, much less confused, the house is usually clean now, dinner is always made, etc - she's loving her newfound freedom..but you can tell my dad doesn't know what to do about it. He's swearing a lot now (rarely used to -- we're a relatively strict Catholic family)
He's also being superficially (and excessively) nice to my youngest sister (9yo). It's sickening...we can see right through it.
Narcissism (sp) is really, really weird..I hadn't really known about it before, but it's quite complex..
Another incidental happening..I have trichotillomania (pull eyebrows/eyelashes) -- my mother and I, as well as some other people, think it's stress-induced. When we were in NJ, I was fine...but now, they're shot to hell. Coicidence? I doubt it.
They're on their way to counseling now -- she's so stressed that her back hurts...please pray for them and the counseler -- if this can be fixed, that it will be fixed..but if that it can't, that it's resolved in the best way for everyone. If he can change (probably doubtful), then great..but if not, I don't know exactly what will happen. He has mentioned divorce...I never dreamed my parents would get a divorce, but I can see what's happening now, and I would understand 110%. From looking at the situation, an anullment should be easy to get as well..
Cliff notes: This is important and probably life-changing to my family and I..please read it..
My parents have been married for almost 22 years. We currently live in Florida. I'm the oldest of five (21), so I'm usually the one my mother talks to if she has a problem..my dad doesn't listen/care.
Back in the end of 2003, my mother, myself, and my siblings (three sisters, one brother) moved to NJ due to relationship issues with my dad -- he never really cared much about his kids..everything was about him, etc. We moved back to FL after three months, and things were better for a short time.
Incidentally, multiple people have been saying how something's not right with our family -- my aunt (she's a doctor) said that we were emotionally abused...friends of ours could see that something wasn't right.
However, my mother has been doing some research -- she found a website (or a book..can't recall) which listed nine criteria that may be in present in narcissistic people -- he has all of them.
She has also found that she is co-dependent..and my dad has been 'feeding' off of her codependence. She is trying to break out of it now. She is much, much less confused, the house is usually clean now, dinner is always made, etc - she's loving her newfound freedom..but you can tell my dad doesn't know what to do about it. He's swearing a lot now (rarely used to -- we're a relatively strict Catholic family)
He's also being superficially (and excessively) nice to my youngest sister (9yo). It's sickening...we can see right through it.
Narcissism (sp) is really, really weird..I hadn't really known about it before, but it's quite complex..
Another incidental happening..I have trichotillomania (pull eyebrows/eyelashes) -- my mother and I, as well as some other people, think it's stress-induced. When we were in NJ, I was fine...but now, they're shot to hell. Coicidence? I doubt it.
They're on their way to counseling now -- she's so stressed that her back hurts...please pray for them and the counseler -- if this can be fixed, that it will be fixed..but if that it can't, that it's resolved in the best way for everyone. If he can change (probably doubtful), then great..but if not, I don't know exactly what will happen. He has mentioned divorce...I never dreamed my parents would get a divorce, but I can see what's happening now, and I would understand 110%. From looking at the situation, an anullment should be easy to get as well..
Cliff notes: This is important and probably life-changing to my family and I..please read it..
If it would, that would make things easier..
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