Please post your nsfw haiku and limmericks here :)

[LilPima]

Please keep it R, not x as I don't want this to be a ban/lock fest! 😉

 

[hiromizu]

so violence is ok but not love making? what a funny world we live in.

 

[biggestmuff]

You son of a bitch
You stole my Eggo waffles
Syrup-board him now!

 

[LilPima]

good stuff 🙂

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
so violence is ok but not love making? what a funny world we live in.

No one said anything about that.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

Originally posted by: biggestmuff
You son of a bitch
You stole my Eggo waffles
Syrup-board him now!

:laugh:

 

[ScottyB]

Becky likes the cock
She rubs them against her frock
Then she has sunblock

 

[oiprocs]

His hole was once small
Then he met a big black man
Hole no longer small

 

[BoomerD]

There once was a man from Nantucket...

 

[oiprocs]

Vaginas are gross
Stinking like shit from a horse
Man I love haikus

 

[Steve]

Haikus are real fun
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

 

[ggnl]

fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap splat

 

[darkxshade]

You touch yourself at night
Sometimes with a fleshlight
With a bottle of jiffy lube
And assistance from redtube
When the parents are out of sight

 

[dr150]

Originally posted by: darkxshade
You touch yourself at night
Sometimes with a fleshlight
With a bottle of jiffy lube
And assistance from redtube
When the parents are out of sight...

....But get caught by your 7 yr old daughter in horrid fright
Who tells your wife of her plight
You get grief with no end in sight
With the marriage over, you might as well die tonite

:laugh:

 

[AstroManLuca]

Originally posted by: darkxshade
You touch yourself at night
Sometimes with a fleshlight
With a bottle of jiffy lube
And assistance from redtube
When the parents are out of sight

Too many syllables in the third and fourth lines for it to be a limerick. Those should be:

"With a bottle of lube
and help from RedTube"

 

[dr150]

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca

Originally posted by: darkxshade
You touch yourself at night
Sometimes with a fleshlight
With a bottle of jiffy lube
And assistance from redtube
When the parents are out of sight

Too many syllables in the third and fourth lines for it to be a limerick. Those should be:

"With a bottle of lube
and help from RedTube"

Doth quoth the Professor.

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: dr150

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca

Originally posted by: darkxshade
You touch yourself at night
Sometimes with a fleshlight
With a bottle of jiffy lube
And assistance from redtube
When the parents are out of sight

Too many syllables in the third and fourth lines for it to be a limerick. Those should be:

"With a bottle of lube
and help from RedTube"

Doth quoth the Professor, "Nevermore".

 

[oiprocs]

Originally posted by: dr150

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca

Originally posted by: darkxshade
You touch yourself at night
Sometimes with a fleshlight
With a bottle of jiffy lube
And assistance from redtube
When the parents are out of sight

Too many syllables in the third and fourth lines for it to be a limerick. Those should be:

"With a bottle of lube
and help from RedTube"

Doth quoth the Professor.

Yea, quoth the raven instead.

 

[oiprocs]

Timewarp travel rocks
Stealing threads and posts galore
Flux capacitor

 

[oiprocs]

How did this thread die
It started off so nicely
Oh - then I posted

 

[Nik]

lol you guys are very creative. and entertaining 😀

 

[sandorski]

Lotto won by Joe
All spent on Hookers and Blow
Friends call him Schmoe

 

[silverpig]

There was a young fellow named perkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His father said perkin
Stop jerkin your gherkin
Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin

 

[CZroe]

The Famous Mr. Ed.
A horse is a horse, of course.
Of course, I'm no horse.

 

[Leros]

I wrote this haiku
'cause LilPima told me to.
Oh, and you guys suck.