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Please help!!! I need ideas on how to slowly disable a computer...

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Kill 2 birds with one stone.

Put on SETI@Home. Hide the program so it doesnt appear in the task bar and set it at high priority.

That should mess her up.
 
Originally posted by: csiro
Replace the guts from the old computer from the new one. Keep the old case, hopefully she won't notice...
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There is a difference in form factors, the new mobo prolly wouldn't fit, What I would do: Put cd-rom and hard drive on same channel, let it be like that for a while, then remove some memory so she has the absolute minimum, never defrag the hdd, for the final blow I would take the Heat sink off the processor, and underclock it to like 125 or so, this will keep it from burning up too quickly, but after a while of running it will just die.
 
Originally posted by: SloppyB
Some good ideas. I am going to start slowly and try running some programs in the background. Then I will follow that with a noisy fan. And finally removing the heat sink from the CPU.

As for her psycho reasoning for not using the new computer? It wasn?t the new OS or computer, she just told her self that if anything bad happened to her family over the first weekend that she had the computer she wouldn?t use it. Son gets kidney stones?so the computer must be possessed. And why doesn?t she get fired (I wish)? She works about 40 to 50 hours a week and only turns in about 10 hours. She is a total freak and literally jumps when her boss calls (I?ve seen her trip over stuff running to his office). Another funny note, the other secretary noted what she wore to work over about a 30 day period?the same damn outfit EVERY DAY! She is totally PSYCHO!!!
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Wow...just wow..what a nut, does she do good work? I mean she sounds so nuts that it doesn't seem possible she could function properly...
 
I'd go with the Ram. Replace her ram with the smallest capacity stick you can find, hopefully 2 mb or so. also, turn of virtual memory so no swapping to the hd. finally fill up her hd with GIFs or MP3's or whatever is handy. that will sufficiently cripple the computer so that it will be unusable.
 
I don't know if removing the heatsink would necessarily kill it (at least in a timely manner). I did the same thing to a P133 once - removed the HS and ran prime95 on it 24/7 for several months, and the thing would not die. It wouldn't even crash from the heat. Although maybe the extra 17 Mhz would make a diff, I'm not sure.
 
Well, I went by today and only had time to mess with her computer for about 30 seconds. I loosened the heat sink and if that doesn?t over heat it I will start with other apps running in the background. But as someone above said she will use it pretty much forever regardless of how slow it is.

During my time there I told her that she was lucky that she didn?t get fired. She then went off on some tirade about how I just don?t understand women (like anyone does but what does that have to do with it) and that she doesn?t give a damn what other people think. After that she just started mumbling and became incoherent. I might have made here cry.
 
First, this has to be one of the stupidest threads ever. Your client is the boss right? Fire the secretary.

Originally posted by: apoppin
Back everything up and then infect it.
What's wrong with a virus? It's obviously not on a network (pull the networking out if it is). Something really evil that will shut her down in a very short time.
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Your also an idiot. First, it is actually illegal to do what you suggest. Second, are you willing to be responsible for any damage after the virus winds up on the other machines in the company?

Bill


 
Originally posted by: bsobel
First, this has to be one of the stupidest threads ever. Your client is the boss right? Fire the secretary.

Originally posted by: apoppin
Back everything up and then infect it.
What's wrong with a virus? It's obviously not on a network (pull the networking out if it is). Something really evil that will shut her down in a very short time.
Click to expand...

Your also an idiot. First, it is actually illegal to do what you suggest. Second, are you willing to be responsible for any damage after the virus winds up on the other machines in the company?

Bill
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Actually, YOU're the idiot. Learn to read (carefully - if that is possible). First, I did mention pulling the networking plug (although it had nothing to do with my post) . . . the original poster mentioned he would NOT use a virus . . . . my "humor" obviously went way over your head -<< "Something really evil that will shut her down in a very short time. That or you can use Microsoft's Windows updater. 😀" >>
 
Actually, YOU're the idiot. Learn to read (carefully - if that is possible). First, I did mention pulling the networking plug (although it had nothing to do with my post) . . . the original poster mentioned he would NOT use a virus . . . . my "humor" obviously went way over your head - "Something really evil that will shut her down in a very short time. That or you can use Microsoft Windows updater. 😀" (dumb @ss)
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Actually, I did read your post. Your suggestion remains moronic.

> Back everything up and then infect it. What's wrong with a virus? It's obviously not on a network (pull the networking out if it is). Something really evil that will shut her down in a very short time.

There are other ways for viri to spread than the network. I'd be more concerned about her taking documents off that machine after it's infected but before she realizes it.

> That or you can use Microsoft's Windows Updater.

This is the only place you, poorly, made an attempt at humor.

Bill



 
Originally posted by: SloppyB
I would just yank her computer...but then she would freak (like I said...she is whacked). But if the computer looks like it has problems she would be more willing to use the new one.

I NEED IDEAS!!!!!
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You're too kind. I'd fire her. YOU'RE the boss, SHE'S the employee. SHE does what YOU say. How the heck does a company survive like this? Management needs to get it's anatomy straightened out and take charge here.
 
Originally posted by: bsobel
Actually, YOU're the idiot. Learn to read (carefully - if that is possible). First, I did mention pulling the networking plug (although it had nothing to do with my post) . . . the original poster mentioned he would NOT use a virus . . . . my "humor" obviously went way over your head - "Something really evil that will shut her down in a very short time. That or you can use Microsoft Windows updater. 😀" (dumb @ss)
Click to expand...

Actually, I did read your post. Your suggestion remains moronic.
> Back everything up and then infect it. What's wrong with a virus? It's obviously not on a network (pull the networking out if it is). Something really evil that will shut her down in a very short time.

There are other ways for viri to spread than the network. I'd be more concerned about her taking documents off that machine after it's infected but before she realizes it.

> That or you can use Microsoft's Windows Updater.

This is the only place you, poorly, made an attempt at humor.

Bill
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You're really too dumb (and/or humorless) to waste my time further replying to. No one else here has a problem with my post.
 
Bust one of the color pins on the video card output. Everything will be a nice shade of pink/purple or yellowish. Then the boss can simply tell her that it will cost more than the machine is worth to fix and we already have this other one......etc.

You could also snip a couple caps off the mobo that smooth the voltage from the voltage regulator. That should cook the processor slowly.

If you want a big flashy/stinky show for her. Push a pin through the the body of any cap (powersupply would be pretty showy...........😀)
 
I have a silly question.

Does she really need a newer machine?

The boss is getting 50 hours of work and paying for 10. Maybe he should just humor her and leave her with the old PC.

(Give me the newer one - I already have kidney stones.) 🙂
 
well, it sounds like she's doing plenty of work.. I also have to ask, why bother changing her pc?

But here's a thought - set it to 16 color mode. That can get pretty annoying, pretty quick.
 
Put a bare install of linux on it... no GUI.

If she asks, refer her to tech support. Caution tech support to tell her that old computers do this after awhile.
 
Put the video hardware acceleration to the lowest. It takes forever to load things up. Then put it on 32 bit color with super resolution and about 50 Hz. It should add to her headaches. 🙂
 
I don't remember much about Word or Windows, but here's an idea:

1. Create a script that displays a message saying "The tech staff don't want you to use this old computer anymore. Please use the new one. Every time you open Word, your computer will slow down a little more, until it is unusable." and starts another instance of MoSlo set to 5% and adds it to Startup.
2. Embed it in Word's default template.
3. Remove the heatsink and overclock.
4. If all else fails, put a smoke bomb in the case with the fuse stuck somewhere that can get hot enough to light it. It might do some damage, but the smoke pouring out of the case will definately freak her out.
 
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