• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Please critique this monologue!

S

slackerinabox

Lifer
Hey guys,
I'm in a theater direction class and the first assignment is to write and perform (yikes!) a true-life monologue using one object as a metaphor for my life... I'm terrified because I'm pretty shy and can't imagine acting in front of really hot drama majors.. Regardless, please be honest and make any suggestions.. This is a draft so I have a week to fix this...

Thanks!
Short performance - html format (Txt)
 
Grab a hammer and "bust $hit up"
Click to expand...

the parts where you break stuff, pretty cool, and other wise its not bad, maybe cuz i read it with a flat tone of voice, and didnt; realyl put the emotion and sarcasm you would in your voice

Dogg
 
thats nice.

Grab a hammer and "bust sh!t up"

SAM
I discovered drugs..

I smash a card

SAM
Alcohol

I smash another card

SAM
And cute goth girls and ravers

I smash a card and then just reflect for a second

SAM
Actually, that's not really a
negative

I grab some tape and mend that card back.
Click to expand...

:beer: 😀





hey, not bad, esp. for a newbie to the course.
 
Originally posted by: PunDogg
Grab a hammer and "bust $hit up"
Click to expand...

the parts where you break stuff, pretty cool, and other wise its not bad, maybe cuz i read it with a flat tone of voice, and didnt; realyl put the emotion and sarcasm you would in your voice

Dogg
Click to expand...

Thanks- you're right, my tone has a lot to do with the success or failure of the monologue.. I gotta work on that!
 
hai hai yaar. how can you do this!? vat will your relatives think! you truly bring utter shame to indians. you should ve studying computers (or medicine), not breaking them!

😛 😛

me likes btw. what class is this for? college class?
 
i like it. what will really make the difference is how you will present it. depending on that it's either very cynical or just the funnay. (oh well i like cynical stuff, but i found out that a lot of people don't get it or get it the wrong way around...)
 
Originally posted by: Aharami
hai hai yaar. how can you do this!? vat will your relatives think! you truly bring utter shame to indians. you should ve studying computers (or medicine), not breaking them!

😛 😛

me likes btw. what class is this for? college class?
Click to expand...

Hahaha, my parents shall never see this 😉 It's for a college level drama class- Theater direction to be exact.. I'm a film major but I thought it would be nice to take a drama class or two..
 
Originally posted by: Luagsch
i like it. what will really make the difference is how you will present it. depending on that it's either very cynical or just the funnay. (oh well i like cynical stuff, but i found out that a lot of people don't get it or get it the wrong way around...)
Click to expand...

Yep, you're right.. I GOTTA practice the delivery.. I might do it in a monotone- kinda what you'd imagine Holden's voice would be (from Catcher in the Rye).. Cynical is what I'm going for.. Cynical and kinda charming.. but that's hard to pull off...
 
Creativity, a little out-of-the-ordinary, and nice rhetoric.

As long as you deliver the monolouge with the emotion you felt while writing it, you'll be fine.

Good luck! It's a great monolouge!
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Hey guys,
I'm in a theater direction class and the first assignment is to write and perform (yikes!) a true-life monologue using one object as a metaphor for my life... I'm terrified because I'm pretty shy and can't imagine acting in front of really hot drama majors.. Regardless, please be honest and make any suggestions.. This is a draft so I have a week to fix this...

Thanks!
Short performance - html format (Txt)
Click to expand...
Talk about your vagina. I heard this works. Oh wait, you don't have a vagina? Talk about someone else's then...

 
Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Hey guys,
I'm in a theater direction class and the first assignment is to write and perform (yikes!) a true-life monologue using one object as a metaphor for my life... I'm terrified because I'm pretty shy and can't imagine acting in front of really hot drama majors.. Regardless, please be honest and make any suggestions.. This is a draft so I have a week to fix this...

Thanks!
Short performance - html format (Txt)
Click to expand...
Talk about your vagina. I heard this works. Oh wait, you don't have a vagina? Talk about someone else's then...
Click to expand...

Dude, you should have been there when this gorgeous girl in my class did her presentation on how donuts represent the guys that she's been in relationships with... When she was lushly eating one of the donuts named "Phil" one guy in the class literally shouted "Best monologue... ever!" a la the comic book guy (her forgetting to wear a bra and wearing one of those very low cut 70s "swoop" shirts added to the.. drama)..... But, yeah, I'll resist talking about vaginas.. At least, during my monologue..
 
By the way guys, please let the comments come rolling in.. Particularly from the children of immigrants... My friends are all "whiteys" so they all like it but can't really relate.. I know that's not what the project is, but I want to be sure not to offend... Thanks 🙂
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
By the way guys, please let the comments come rolling in.. Particularly from the children of immigrants... My friends are all "whiteys" so they all like it but can't really relate.. I know that's not what the project is, but I want to be sure not to offend... Thanks 🙂
Click to expand...
LOL, you bash your parents but you care about that subject?😉
and cynical stuff may be very contrevers (i just love the look in some people faces when they don't get it), so don't care. and you put everything in perspective by the broken pieces falling out of the case in the end.
the bashing with the endresult somehow reminded me of the monologue in "the 25th hour" (it's not cynical but the feeling i get about the character's state is comparable to it (it's a different level of the same feeling to it) (if that helps (?)).
 
Originally posted by: Luagsch
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
By the way guys, please let the comments come rolling in.. Particularly from the children of immigrants... My friends are all "whiteys" so they all like it but can't really relate.. I know that's not what the project is, but I want to be sure not to offend... Thanks 🙂
Click to expand...
LOL, you bash your parents but you care about that subject?😉
and cynical stuff may be very contrevers (i just love the look in some people faces when they don't get it), so don't care. and you put everything in perspective by the broken pieces falling out of the case in the end.
the bashing with the endresult somehow reminded me of the monologue in "the 25th hour" (it's not cynical but the feeling i get about the character's state is comparable to it (it's a different level of the same feeling to it) (if that helps (?)).
Click to expand...

Haha.. i guess you're right... Mostly jewish kids in my class so I should get away with a little healthy indian bashing 😉 I shouldn't care if I do offend someone either, nothing like a bit of controversy to help boost one's grade ... Nice monologue from 25TH hour- never saw the movie but that reminds me of "Taxi Driver" for some reason - you know, the "you talkin' to me?" monologue.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Luagsch
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
By the way guys, please let the comments come rolling in.. Particularly from the children of immigrants... My friends are all "whiteys" so they all like it but can't really relate.. I know that's not what the project is, but I want to be sure not to offend... Thanks 🙂
Click to expand...
LOL, you bash your parents but you care about that subject?😉
and cynical stuff may be very contrevers (i just love the look in some people faces when they don't get it), so don't care. and you put everything in perspective by the broken pieces falling out of the case in the end.
the bashing with the endresult somehow reminded me of the monologue in "the 25th hour" (it's not cynical but the feeling i get about the character's state is comparable to it (it's a different level of the same feeling to it) (if that helps (?)).
Click to expand...
Haha.. i guess you're right... Mostly jewish kids in my class so I should get away with a little healthy indian bashing 😉 I shouldn't care if I do offend someone either, nothing like a bit of controversy to help boost one's grade ... Nice monologue from 25TH hour- never saw the movie but that reminds me of "Taxi Driver" for some reason - you know, the "you talkin' to me?" monologue.
Click to expand...
yeah it does, even though the result in 25th hour is very different, ending in a self-reflection.
Monty: No. No, fvck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb fvck!
Click to expand...
but that was also the charm of taxi driver, you just could feel how he trapped himself.
i love good monologues cause they show so much of the characters motivation and the relation of the character to himself and the world in that special moment in time. i guess SXMP's recommandation fits it perfectly.
 
Originally posted by: Luagsch
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Luagsch
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
By the way guys, please let the comments come rolling in.. Particularly from the children of immigrants... My friends are all "whiteys" so they all like it but can't really relate.. I know that's not what the project is, but I want to be sure not to offend... Thanks 🙂
Click to expand...
LOL, you bash your parents but you care about that subject?😉
and cynical stuff may be very contrevers (i just love the look in some people faces when they don't get it), so don't care. and you put everything in perspective by the broken pieces falling out of the case in the end.
the bashing with the endresult somehow reminded me of the monologue in "the 25th hour" (it's not cynical but the feeling i get about the character's state is comparable to it (it's a different level of the same feeling to it) (if that helps (?)).
Click to expand...
Haha.. i guess you're right... Mostly jewish kids in my class so I should get away with a little healthy indian bashing 😉 I shouldn't care if I do offend someone either, nothing like a bit of controversy to help boost one's grade ... Nice monologue from 25TH hour- never saw the movie but that reminds me of "Taxi Driver" for some reason - you know, the "you talkin' to me?" monologue.
Click to expand...
yeah it does, even though the result in 25th hour is very different, ending in a self-reflection.
Monty: No. No, fvck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb fvck!
Click to expand...
but that was also the charm of taxi driver, you just could feel how he trapped himself.
i love good monologues cause they show so much of the characters motivation and the relation of the character to himself and the world in that special moment in time. i guess SXMP's recommandation fits it perfectly.
Click to expand...

Yes, taxi driver's ending is just classing.. I should rent 25th hour someday- I always thought of spike as a slightly less talented, younger scorsese (sp?)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top