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Please critique my resume!!

purbeast0

purbeast0

No Lifer
I'm going to submit it to a few companies I found on monster.com just for shlts and giggles to see what kind of offers I can get, then I may go to my current boss and ask about a raise (or even switch jobs). Here's my earlier thread discussing my current position.

Here's my current resume.

Updated "Work Experience" section

Updated resume attempt #2

UPDATED FINAL VERSION

I had another job on there before but it wasn't computer related at all, it was at a grocery store. I had it for 8 years (through HS and college) but I took it off since I now have real world experience.

So I'm looking for any and all criticism that could make this look better before I submit it to the companies.

Oh yah, and of course, those smudges are there for a reason 😛
 
I don't like that format.....its very basic and universal, and I don't think recruiters/employers want to see that same format for the 10000th time, they want something that looks different and sexy. You have to much white on your page also, you have big areas of white on the page that could be taken up with more descriptions about your skills and knowledge. Your bullet points for your 2 experiences need to be more descriptive and in depth in my opinion also. These companies don't know what you did and if you elaborate more and give more details about what you did you sound more important. :0

 
Please take out the word "scratch". Sounds like you have a pretty good job, but your resume makes you sound unimpressive.
 
Originally posted by: ScottFern
I don't like that format.....its very basic and universal, and I don't think recruiters/employers want to see that same format for the 10000th time, they want something that looks different and sexy. You have to much white on your page also, you have big areas of white on the page that could be taken up with more descriptions about your skills and knowledge. Your bullet points for your 2 experiences need to be more descriptive and in depth in my opinion also. These companies don't know what you did and if you elaborate more and give more details about what you did you sound more important. :0
Click to expand...
:thumbsup: thanks

friend I just showed it to also sai the samet hing about the bullet points - to make them more "action" oriented and more descriptive.

for instance, instead of "lead developer" say somethign like "Lead Developer for the complete life cycle of xxxx which was the best selling version to date" (which it was).
 
Originally posted by: poopaskoopa
Please take out the word "scratch". Sounds like you have a pretty good job, but your resume makes you sound unimpressive.
Click to expand...

😕

but yes the whole point of me posting this on here is to get criticism to make me look more impressive since I haven't done the job just yet 🙂


Originally posted by: tfinch2
Are those honors from high school? Ditch them...
Click to expand...

yah they are. that's another thing I wasnt sure if I should put on there or not...
 
Originally posted by: purbeast0
Originally posted by: ScottFern
I don't like that format.....its very basic and universal, and I don't think recruiters/employers want to see that same format for the 10000th time, they want something that looks different and sexy. You have to much white on your page also, you have big areas of white on the page that could be taken up with more descriptions about your skills and knowledge. Your bullet points for your 2 experiences need to be more descriptive and in depth in my opinion also. These companies don't know what you did and if you elaborate more and give more details about what you did you sound more important. :0
Click to expand...
:thumbsup: thanks

friend I just showed it to also sai the samet hing about the bullet points - to make them more "action" oriented and more descriptive.

for instance, instead of "lead developer" say somethign like "Lead Developer for the complete life cycle of xxxx which was the best selling version to date" (which it was).
Click to expand...


Exactly, here is a few bullets from my resume:

? Attended weekly improvement meetings regarding client satisfaction, develop new computer skills, and reviewed rules and training

? Mastered Clarify support software by creating cases for client issues, logging lab problems and answering email support questions

Yes its all BS, but as one friend told me......You have to make it sound SEXY!
 
Originally posted by: ScottFern
Originally posted by: purbeast0
Originally posted by: ScottFern
I don't like that format.....its very basic and universal, and I don't think recruiters/employers want to see that same format for the 10000th time, they want something that looks different and sexy. You have to much white on your page also, you have big areas of white on the page that could be taken up with more descriptions about your skills and knowledge. Your bullet points for your 2 experiences need to be more descriptive and in depth in my opinion also. These companies don't know what you did and if you elaborate more and give more details about what you did you sound more important. :0
Click to expand...
:thumbsup: thanks

friend I just showed it to also sai the samet hing about the bullet points - to make them more "action" oriented and more descriptive.

for instance, instead of "lead developer" say somethign like "Lead Developer for the complete life cycle of xxxx which was the best selling version to date" (which it was).
Click to expand...


Exactly, here is a few bullets from my resume:

? Attended weekly improvement meetings regarding client satisfaction, develop new computer skills, and reviewed rules and training

? Mastered Clarify support software by creating cases for client issues, logging lab problems and answering email support questions

Yes its all BS, but as one friend told me......You have to make it sound SEXY!
Click to expand...

Format wise ... I am not sure how to change it so it doesn't look generic. seems that every design for a resume now a days seems generic and rehashed. This wasn't taken from any template or anything either, i did it up myself.
 
I think you can fix your objective to be less repetitive. Come up with something unique, most HR personal have seen that line one too many times.
 
Originally posted by: purbeast0
Originally posted by: poopaskoopa
Please take out the word "scratch". Sounds like you have a pretty good job, but your resume makes you sound unimpressive.
Click to expand...

😕

but yes the whole point of me posting this on here is to get criticism to make me look more impressive since I haven't done the job just yet 🙂


Originally posted by: tfinch2
Are those honors from high school? Ditch them...
Click to expand...

yah they are. that's another thing I wasnt sure if I should put on there or not...
Click to expand...

Do I confuse you? I'm talking about one of your projects from 2003. It's cool that you made a 3D fighting game, but you make it sound like you were making biscuits.

Basically, you need to brag more. If you did something, you don't just say you were responsible for it. You say you led a project that did This and That for the company
 
There's a reason why that format is popular - it works. I wouldn't change the format. I would shorten your objective and eliminate "where I can ... my skills" - it's not necessary and doesn't add to anything. Also, I would eliminate the honors section since they appear to be from high school.
 
Originally posted by: Accipiter22
move working experience to the top
Click to expand...

I think only work experience and skills should be switched. The most popular order for new hires is Objective, Education, Experience, then whatever.
 
Originally posted by: Accipiter22
move working experience to the top
Click to expand...

I was told you shouldn't do that until you have been working in the industry for atleast 10 years.

Also, thanks a lot for the tips. I will soon display a pic of my updated "bullets" for my work expeience.
 
Originally posted by: ScottFern
I don't like that format.....its very basic and universal, and I don't think recruiters/employers want to see that same format for the 10000th time, they want something that looks different and sexy. You have to much white on your page also, you have big areas of white on the page that could be taken up with more descriptions about your skills and knowledge. Your bullet points for your 2 experiences need to be more descriptive and in depth in my opinion also. These companies don't know what you did and if you elaborate more and give more details about what you did you sound more important. :0
Click to expand...

The thing is, the format SHOULD be plain. usually they areput into a computer and scanned for keywords, so the resume should be able to be copied/pasted into a .txt file and still maintain the format. I would remove the line across the top, and put your titles above the bullets instead of in a column off to the side. there is a lot of wasted space there.

include your college GPA also, unless it sucks. if it isnt on there, they will just assume its missing because it sucks.

edit: heres my resume
 
Originally posted by: ucdbiendog
Originally posted by: ScottFern
I don't like that format.....its very basic and universal, and I don't think recruiters/employers want to see that same format for the 10000th time, they want something that looks different and sexy. You have to much white on your page also, you have big areas of white on the page that could be taken up with more descriptions about your skills and knowledge. Your bullet points for your 2 experiences need to be more descriptive and in depth in my opinion also. These companies don't know what you did and if you elaborate more and give more details about what you did you sound more important. :0
Click to expand...

The thing is, the format SHOULD be plain. usually they areput into a computer and scanned for keywords, so the resume should be able to be copied/pasted into a .txt file and still maintain the format. I would remove the line across the top, and put your titles above the bullets instead of in a column off to the side. there is a lot of wasted space there.

include your college GPA also, unless it sucks. if it isnt on there, they will just assume its missing because it sucks.
Click to expand...

Well I was told from various people, that once you graduate college and have a full time position in the real world, GPA no longer needs to be there. It's above a B, but not by much.
 
Originally posted by: purbeast0
Originally posted by: ucdbiendog
Originally posted by: ScottFern
I don't like that format.....its very basic and universal, and I don't think recruiters/employers want to see that same format for the 10000th time, they want something that looks different and sexy. You have to much white on your page also, you have big areas of white on the page that could be taken up with more descriptions about your skills and knowledge. Your bullet points for your 2 experiences need to be more descriptive and in depth in my opinion also. These companies don't know what you did and if you elaborate more and give more details about what you did you sound more important. :0
Click to expand...

The thing is, the format SHOULD be plain. usually they areput into a computer and scanned for keywords, so the resume should be able to be copied/pasted into a .txt file and still maintain the format. I would remove the line across the top, and put your titles above the bullets instead of in a column off to the side. there is a lot of wasted space there.

include your college GPA also, unless it sucks. if it isnt on there, they will just assume its missing because it sucks.
Click to expand...

Well I was told from various people, that once you graduate college and have a full time position in the real world, GPA no longer needs to be there. It's above a B, but not by much.
Click to expand...


ahh yeah then i guess its up to you. if its a selling point, might be worth it to throw it in if you have the room. i edited my prior post with a copy of my resume. the woman at our career resource center recommended i use something like that.
 
I hadn't read the IT part, but that part needs to get fixed too. All three of them. #1 guy? "trouble shoot"? That 2nd part is confusing. You weren't a messenger, right? It sorta sounded like you were, though. You make the third part sound like a chore rather than an accomplishment.
 
I'd change some of your wording. Such as "Was the #1 guy on location...." To something like "Was the primary technition...." Or "Had to install..." to just installed.

Also I think you should type out the number two in letters where you say you used two languages.

I would also change "Found and fixed many bugs" to just Debugged, or Performed product debugging.
 
Originally posted by: cRazYdood
I'd change some of your wording. Such as "Was the #1 guy on location...." To something like "Was the primary technition...." Or "Had to install..." to just installed.

Also I think you should type out the number two in letters where you say you used two languages.

I would also change "Found and fixed many bugs" to just Debugged, or Performed product debugging.
Click to expand...

Yah I'm having trouble with what to put for bullets in the IT description. I mean all you really do is one thing - install hardware/software and solve problems. that's not really my field but it was a tech related intern I had so I definitely keep it on there.

I'm not sure what other stuff to put really rather than the main bullet on there (with some rewording).
 
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