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Please check out this college essay...

What is the purpose of the essay? (what is Emory Scholars?) Also, check for typos in the quote and a few awkward sentences.
 
Conclusion... Relevance... What kind of a prompt was this? Also, it's fairly long for a college essay (many schools like essays 500 to 700 words or less), although I don't know the Emory Scholar Program's specific requirements. Other than not seeming to have anything to do with anything besides the X-Files, it wasn't a bad piece of writing.
 
This seems more like an article about how conspiracy's are formed than an actual essay about something. Actually, maybe something out of a It also shifts between empiricism and opinion.

Conclusion is weak, but I know those arre damn hard to do.

Not bad. Not sure if I can do better of course. Be good to know the objective.
 
The prompt was to write about something that interest you

I think the conclusion is weak also but I dont really have any ideas on how to improve... any help would be appreciated I am sure!
 
I did my essay about playing HS football, and I got in to the school of my choice.

Not a good esay in my opinion, but I am a College Senior.
 
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