Plane's going down, only one parachute

[jonks]

So it's you and your spouse* and only one parachute. Grab it and go, or sacrifice yourself?


- would it help the nitpickers if a suicidal gunman remains aboard planning to go down with the plane and gives you the choice of either taking the parachute or giving it to your spouse?

- would it further help if the gunman is god and you can't beat him up or sneak up on him to get the gun?

- would it be more specific to add that take it as a given that you do love your spouse?

- just answer the question claire, we can always find loopholes





*For the purposes of this question assume the controlling jurisdiction recognizes marriage equality, no need to be bigoted in hypotheticals. (Or maybe there is! next thing you know hypos will be about whether you or your dog gets the parachute! anarchy!)

 

[hanoverphist]

i put spouse. assuming we didnt get divorced already, it would ahve been an easy decision. now that we are not together, its an easy decision to take it and jump. but id probably try to tandem jump it or something before leaving her (even ex wife her) to die.

 

[KeithTalent]

I'd give it to my spouse, without hesitation.

KT

 

[keird]

Shout, "Remember the Alamo!" and then throw out the Mexican.

 

[AmberClad]

Give the chute to the heavier person, other one holds on for dear life?

 

[Cheeseplug]

Attach the parachute to the plane!

 

[actuarial]

Easily give it to spouse, though I'd definitely at least try to hold on.

 

[ggnl]

Originally posted by: AmberClad
Give the chute to the heavier person, other one holds on for dear life?

that

if keanu can do it so can i

 

[dainthomas]

This scenario is extremely unlikely under almost any conceivable situation. The vast majority of plane crashes occur during takeoff or landing, so a parachute will do no good. Even if you knew it was definitely going to crash with enough time to find a parachute and put it on, you couldn't get the door open mid flight.

That said, I voted me.

 

[Zolty]

land the plane in the Hudson
/thread

 

[JulesMaximus]

Tandem jump FTW!!!

 

[OCGuy]

Rock. Paper. Scissors.

 

[joesmoke]

stance of dominance dictates that there is only one correct answer...

 

[darkxshade]

I suppose in your hypothetical situation, jumping tandem with one chute is out of the question? Because it's doable.

 

[Jeeebus]

close my eyes and hope to god the plane lands on a treadmill.

 

[silverpig]

I'd put it on, then use my belt to tie her to me, then get her to wrap her arms and legs around me, wrap my arms around her, then jump.

 

[imported_Imp]

Voted for self-bailing, but honestly, I'd give it to the spouse. I'd rather be dead than live with the guilt trap of having essentially killed my spouse.

However, I'd probably try to jump 2 with one chute. Tandem jump? Hold on tight, baby.

 

[frostedflakes]

Originally posted by: darkxshade
I suppose in your hypothetical situation, jumping tandem with one chute is out of the question? Because it's doable.

Yeah that was my first thought as well.

If it was an either or decision, though, would probably give it to the spouse. What's the point of living if everybody knows that you're the asshole who let your wife die in a plane crash? Not to mention I find the whole idea of going out with a bang kind of cool. Better than dying of a heart attack or something boring like that, at least this way you would be remembered and honored as a hero.

 

[dainthomas]

Originally posted by: darkxshade
I suppose in your hypothetical situation, jumping tandem with one chute is out of the question? Because it's doable.

How? Could you hold on to the outside of a car going 100+ mph that slams on its brakes?

Maybe if you both had belts on and looped them around each other.

 

[Zenmervolt]

I would give my spouse the parachute and I would hold onto her while we tandem jumped. That way, I don't automatically die, but if grip is lost during the tandem jump, she would stay safe.

ZV

 

[Gooberlx2]

Heh, I'd give it to my spouse. Then she'd probably slap me and give it back....this would go back and forth until we both perished in a hot, fiery mess of metal and jet fuel.

 

[darkxshade]

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: darkxshade
I suppose in your hypothetical situation, jumping tandem with one chute is out of the question? Because it's doable.

How? Could you hold on to the outside of a car going 100+ mph that slams on its brakes?

Maybe if you both had belts on and looped them around each other.

I've read the solution to surviving this situation in some worst case scenario survival manual years ago... basically it'll break your arms but you'll live. Something to do with how you interlock your arms to the straps of the chute.


found a link in case you're skeptical:

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive...arachute-Fails-to-Open

 

[frostedflakes]

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: darkxshade
I suppose in your hypothetical situation, jumping tandem with one chute is out of the question? Because it's doable.

How? Could you hold on to the outside of a car going 100+ mph that slams on its brakes?

Maybe if you both had belts on and looped them around each other.

Just hug as hard as you can and interlock your legs? May break or dislocate some bones when the chute deploys, but at least you'd still be alive. Tie yourselves together with something on the plane as a failsafe.

I don't know much about skydiving, though, so maybe it's not quite that simple.

 

[CRXican]

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
I would give my spouse the parachute and I would hold onto her while we tandem jumped. That way, I don't automatically die, but if grip is lost during the tandem jump, she would stay safe.

ZV

pretty good answer

after seeing my friends skydive last weekend I know the tandem shutes are larger and have a drag shute

two people on a single person shute wouldn't slow you down as well but clearly it's better than no shute

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

If you were in a vat of vomit up to your neck, and could only sit down or stand up, and a big bag of shit was being swung towards you, would you take the bag of shit in the face, or duck down into the vat of vomit?