Perpetuating that old myth about the neverending turkey...muahaha!

[unxpurg8d]

As I'm sitting here waiting for the big ol' extra turkey I buy every year 'cause it's "only thirty cents a pound, darn it!" I was wondering - how many of the rest of you parents pull this on their "you mean there's MORE turkey leftovers!?!?!?" moaning kiddies?


Seriously, every year I get an extra turkey and then about the third day when the initial supply of the stuff is running low I get up in the middle of the night and covertly cook the spare! It's funny that the kids've never gotten suspicious.....but then I always take care to dispose of the extra drumsticks before they wake up so even if they DO get paranoid there's no real proof. Ha! Even THEY probably know a turkey only has two drumsticks. Sigh.


So, anyone else? And if not, your parents do it?

 

[convex]

you bastards, i take it there's also truth to the rumor that there is no santa?

 

[unxpurg8d]

LOL I really was wondering if anyone else does this....check with YOUR mom. I bet she grins.....

 

[BiggieN]

that's just crazy...and mean. stop toturing your kids. i thought you loved them?

 

[unxpurg8d]

Hey, I love 'em....but the turkey was on salllllllllleeeeeeeeeeee!!


hehehe think back to when you were a kid, how long did the turkey last at YOUR house????


Besides, one of the small joys of parenting is pulling evil stunts like this on your kids that they don't find out about until years later. Kids always think their parents are so boringly well-behaved. It's not that, it's that we're MUCH sneakier about being rotten!


EDIT: Quirky recipe tip for even quirkier Mday - the roast chicken flavor packets in ramen make EXCELLENT gravy if you mix 'em with water then throw a little cornstarch/water paste in until it thickens! Ha!

 

[Farbio]

lol, unxpurg8d, you're really quite proud of this aren't you?? you devious littl devil you

 

[unxpurg8d]

Hehehehe Yeah...I kinda AM, Farbio. You have a lotta spare time on your hands when you're being the bad mommy and plotting against your children in the middle of the night.


SOMEbodyelse's parents had to've pulled this kinda thing on 'em when they were younger....or was just MY family twisted!?!?!?!


My dad had us and all the neighborhood kids convinced we had an invisible pet in a hampster cage...he called it a "schwartz" and ran the treadmill with really thin fishing line. The moms around the neighborhood made him stop 'cause all THEIR kids wanted one too! LOL

 

[BiggieN]

boy...yes, you did have a twisted family. that thing your dad did prob takes the cake. got any more good tricks i can play on my future kids?

 

[Farbio]

i thought the schwartz was on a ring that had a sword come out of it???

or is my schwartz bigger than yours?

and unxpurg8d, i think it was only your family that's twisted, although i'm sure that when gf reads, she'll agree with you, cuz we all know she's twisted too

 

[unxpurg8d]

Oh sureeeeeeeeeee, pick on us poor little psychotic chicks.


Note - it was usually DAD doing evil things to us kids. Like wiring an old Army field phone to the front door knob...sigh. OUCH. Convinced us that whole dehydrated red chili peppers were going to taste like chewy red licorice once. Hey, I never said we were the BRIGHTEST kids on the block...lol. Btw, he did draw the line at anything that was permanently injurous. But I have my suspicions that might've been motivated by a serious fear of MOM.

 

[Farbio]

lol, unxpurg8d, i think u need to read cheaper by the dozen, your dad sounds just like the dad in that book....

but you know, hearing about family life like that does explain alot about some of the women i know

 

[unxpurg8d]

Well, life with Dad was never boring, at least - hazardous, but at least interesting.


Hmmm.... to be fair though, Mom had her moments. I remember coming home from school one day to find Mom smashing all the dishes with a hammer while muttering about people breaking everything she owned so she'd just fix it so there was nothing to break.

When she stomped out of the house and drug me with her I was soooooooo scared - then the nutcase got around the corner of the house out of sight and collapsed giggling. When she finally stopped laughing enough to talk, she told me she hadn't touched the GOOD stuff but that she bet DAD didn't know the difference...LOL

Parents.

 

[BiggieN]

u must've had a fun time during your childhood. i wish i had more fun when i was younger. i miss my youthful days.

 

[Farbio]

/me begins to back away....it will be alright unxpurg8d, it will be alright....

/me turns to run, run far, run fast

 

[Yeeny]

and unxpurg8d, i think it was only your family that's twisted, although i'm sure that when gf reads, she'll agree with you, cuz we all know she's twisted too

Oh sure, I go to sleep and mind my own business, and the next thing I know, I am being picked on. Innocent me? How rude!

unxpurg8d: My family was just as twisted as yours. My father was a big irish guy, who loved to take me grocery shopping and yell at me with an Italian accent. "Wassa matter you, you gotta no respect." The store owners all knew he was irish, so that drew alot of stares. So yeah, I am just as abnormal with my kids, though I have to say, that turkey thing is just cruel! I will have to try that next year.

 

[creedog]

Your kids are lucky to have turkey. Turkey is great! Better a nutritious homecooked meal than a can of dinty moore beef stew!

 

[Farbio]

see?!?!! see?!??! i told you gf would agree to being twisted

 

[ltk007]

hey farbio, change ur sig

 

[ratkil]

So what you are saying unxpurg8d is that similiar to how most people have a fund for college for their kids, you maintain a fund for future therapy bills?

 

[thebestMAX]

I didnt have any turkey this year and was going to ask Unxpurg8d for a meal but after those stories, Im afraid to.

Did you Dad say "Pull my finger" too?

 

[perry]

My mom still holds a secret about one Christmas, and she'll probably take it to her grave. We were in Ireland one year for Christmas, and my sis and I still got perfectly wrapped presents. I've never been able to figure out how the presents got there without my nosey sister finding them. We just woke up Christmas morning, and they were there. Everyone was in one hotel room and we got to Ireland several days before Christmas.

Yea, sneaky parents. Gotta luv em.

Never did figure out the tooth fairy either. My tooth would always be under my pillow when I went to bed, and I'd wake up and there would be a dollar there.