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People who live for today only

Miramonti

Miramonti

Lifer
A few examples:

People who live paycheck to paycheck, not because they have to but because they choose not to think of foreseen or unforeseen financial needs ahead. Perhaps they think of the obvious future events like rent or a car payment, but little else, and waste any extra spending money on things that aren't necessary.

People who frequently eat out because they usually 'don't have anything to eat' in the home, usually craptastic fast food.

People frequently are washing their clothes the night before or even hours before they go to work because they 'don't have anything to wear.'

People always complaining about work but never do anything about their circumstance.

People who don't carry jumper cables or a gas can in their trunk.

People who aren't interested in learning to fish but just want the goddam fish, now.

And when sh!t happens to this type of people, they're usually quick to play the victim.


Some of this is simple immaturity, common in youth that's taken much for granted growing up. But it's a illusion to think all people will grow out of it. I find it frightful to see people like this go thru life never changing, never growing, choosing to never learn from their experiences.

I also find it useless to help this type of people - certainly when they don't ask for help (they'll resent the offer or get defensive) - but even when they do ask. :\
 
you've stated your point op...what do you want us to say? I dont see a question


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I find these types of people probably the most frustrating I've ever had to deal with in my life. It's one thing to distance oneself from them in the work place, but it's another ball game when they are family and you care about them.
 
I thought the majority of Americans live payceck to paycheck? The government likes it like that, it makes for a consumer society.....otherwise they'd ensure personal financial management was an essential course in highschool along with s3x ed.
 
jjsole said:
Some of this is simple immaturity, common in youth that's taken much for granted growing up. But it's a illusion to think all people will grow out of it. I find it frightful to see people like this go thru life never changing, never growing, choosing to never learn from their experiences.
Click to expand...

You're missing another one - some people simply don't have the opportunities that you and I have, either materially or intellectually. I'm from the south and there a lot of just plain poor people down there. People who might not have the capacity or cultural training to get themselves out of their circumstances, where hourly type of jobs are the best they're able to do and where making ends meet is extremely difficult. We live in an extremely blessed society, but not everyone is afforded the same blessings. And so some people really struggle financially and are forced to live paycheck to paycheck, or perhaps have worldviews that were hardcoded into them by their families, such as eating out all the time.

There's a lot more to the story than just an outwardly-visible yolo attitude. Habits are another big one. I had a buddy who finally moved out of his folk's house in his mid-20's. His mom had convinced him that he was, to quote, "a pile of garbage" and had absolutely wrecked his self-esteem. He had no concept of finances and couldn't even boil a pot of water, but he pushed through it and has been living on his own for awhile now. But it was a HUGE struggle for him to overcome his circumstances and learn how to support himself, how to get prepared like the things you mentioned with laundry & car stuff, etc. So it can be a pretty complex thing.

But yeah, a lot of people are just lazy whiners too :awe:
 
mammador said:
People live as they choose. And?

It's cliche, but we only control ourselves in life.
Click to expand...

There's a certain instinct in people to act and let them know when you see someone driving towards a brick wall without paying attention, especially if you care about the person. It doesn't even have to be that extreme tho. The fact we can only control ourselves in our own lives is very true, altho that doesn't necessarily make it easier.

poohbear said:
I thought the majority of Americans live payceck to paycheck? The government likes it like that, it makes for a consumer society.....otherwise they'd ensure personal financial management was an essential course in highschool along with s3x ed.
Click to expand...

There's a truth to this, but I think it goes beyond finances for this type of people. It's about considering the future, even if that means as far as thinking about tomorrow, instead of just pacifying the moment.
 
Kaido said:
You're missing another one - some people simply don't have the opportunities that you and I have, either materially or intellectually. I'm from the south and there a lot of just plain poor people down there. People who might not have the capacity or cultural training to get themselves out of their circumstances, where hourly type of jobs are the best they're able to do and where making ends meet is extremely difficult. We live in an extremely blessed society, but not everyone is afforded the same blessings. And so some people really struggle financially and are forced to live paycheck to paycheck, or perhaps have worldviews that were hardcoded into them by their families, such as eating out all the time.

There's a lot more to the story than just an outwardly-visible yolo attitude. Habits are another big one. I had a buddy who finally moved out of his folk's house in his mid-20's. His mom had convinced him that he was, to quote, "a pile of garbage" and had absolutely wrecked his self-esteem. He had no concept of finances and couldn't even boil a pot of water, but he pushed through it and has been living on his own for awhile now. But it was a HUGE struggle for him to overcome his circumstances and learn how to support himself, how to get prepared like the things you mentioned with laundry & car stuff, etc. So it can be a pretty complex thing.

But yeah, a lot of people are just lazy whiners too :awe:
Click to expand...

You said the key word...LEARN. That was his choice. I have respect for that guy already because he's made that choice once he recognized the need.

Everyone comes from different places, and many from a ton more difficult places than I've come from, but at some point that excuse wears thin when one chooses not to learn and not grow from the place they were at when they became an adult. It's not that someone is poor, its that they still live life like they are 18 when they are 40+.

I don't want to refer to extreme situations and difficulties tho. Circumstances can be very damaging and these aren't people I'm at war with in my frustrations.
 
jjsole said:
You said the key word...LEARN. That was his choice. I have respect for that guy already because he's made that choice once he recognized the need.

Everyone comes from different places, and many from a ton more difficult places than I've come from, but at some point that excuse wears thin when one chooses not to learn and not grow from the place they were at when they became an adult. It's not that someone is poor, its that they still live life like they are 18 when they are 40+.

I don't want to refer to extreme situations and difficulties tho. Circumstances can be very damaging and these aren't people I'm at war with in my frustrations.
Click to expand...

Yeah. I think most people reach a point where they realize they have the power to decide for themselves. For one of my uncles, it was when he hit 50...he finally stopped acting like a punk teenage kid, grew up, and started a family. Amazing turnaround. Some of us are late bloomers. And yeah, I know what you're saying, ah, target-market wise 😉 Best advice is that you can't change people. It will only make you more frustrated. The formula is simple, really: if they don't already want to change, then they don't want to hear it. If they do, then they'll just...do it. Anyone can pick up a Dave Ramsey book and dig themselves out of debt, or get a Dummies book on whatever topic they need help on, whether it's cooking or cars or whatever.

It's not so much about the act of changing as it is about the motivation to change, i.e. the desire, or in layman's terms...you have to want to. I listened to a really good audiobook on motivation awhile back, and the author made a really good point: we already know the "how-to" portion of it...everyone knows how-to eat healthy, how-to use an exercise bike, how-to go to bed early. The problem is that they lack the motivation to do it, and to do it on a consistent basis. If your mom offered you fifty bucks to do the dishes as a kid, I'd imagine you'd have been a lot more motivated to do the dishes than if you were just starting at them, dreading the job. Anyway, point is, people will change when they want to change, and until then, you're just annoying them and they'll fight back because they don't want to yet.

btw that audiobook was pretty good, mostly a collection of academic research presented in a human-understandable format, but a lot better than the typical self-help motivation stuff that gets you pumped up while you listen to it and has no real lasting value:

http://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Secrets.../dp/1596590300
 
jjsole said:
A few examples:

People who live paycheck to paycheck, not because they have to but because they choose not to think of foreseen or unforeseen financial needs ahead. Perhaps they think of the obvious future events like rent or a car payment, but little else, and waste any extra spending money on things that aren't necessary.

People who frequently eat out because they usually 'don't have anything to eat' in the home, usually craptastic fast food.

People frequently are washing their clothes the night before or even hours before they go to work because they 'don't have anything to wear.'

People always complaining about work but never do anything about their circumstance.

People who don't carry jumper cables or a gas can in their trunk.

People who aren't interested in learning to fish but just want the goddam fish, now.

And when sh!t happens to this type of people, they're usually quick to play the victim.


Some of this is simple immaturity, common in youth that's taken much for granted growing up. But it's a illusion to think all people will grow out of it. I find it frightful to see people like this go thru life never changing, never growing, choosing to never learn from their experiences.

I also find it useless to help this type of people - certainly when they don't ask for help (they'll resent the offer or get defensive) - but even when they do ask. :\
Click to expand...
"When you die, you can't take your money to heaven with you."
Or so I've been told by such people...

To one of such people, I responded back: "What makes you think that you're going to heaven?"
 
Kaido said:
Yeah. I think most people reach a point where they realize they have the power to decide for themselves. For one of my uncles, it was when he hit 50...he finally stopped acting like a punk teenage kid, grew up, and started a family. Amazing turnaround. Some of us are late bloomers. And yeah, I know what you're saying, ah, target-market wise 😉 Best advice is that you can't change people. It will only make you more frustrated. The formula is simple, really: if they don't already want to change, then they don't want to hear it. If they do, then they'll just...do it. Anyone can pick up a Dave Ramsey book and dig themselves out of debt, or get a Dummies book on whatever topic they need help on, whether it's cooking or cars or whatever.

It's not so much about the act of changing as it is about the motivation to change, i.e. the desire, or in layman's terms...you have to want to. I listened to a really good audiobook on motivation awhile back, and the author made a really good point: we already know the "how-to" portion of it...everyone knows how-to eat healthy, how-to use an exercise bike, how-to go to bed early. The problem is that they lack the motivation to do it, and to do it on a consistent basis. If your mom offered you fifty bucks to do the dishes as a kid, I'd imagine you'd have been a lot more motivated to do the dishes than if you were just starting at them, dreading the job. Anyway, point is, people will change when they want to change, and until then, you're just annoying them and they'll fight back because they don't want to yet.

btw that audiobook was pretty good, mostly a collection of academic research presented in a human-understandable format, but a lot better than the typical self-help motivation stuff that gets you pumped up while you listen to it and has no real lasting value:

http://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Secrets.../dp/1596590300
Click to expand...
I'm blown away your uncle changed when he was 50. That's very encouraging. I concluded it's a mental handicap, ie some form of autism...perhaps not.

Some people may take an experience as a need to change or grow, yet others can take the same type of situation as another example of how they unjustly keep getting screwed by others, yada yada. It's a personal choice, and it unfortunately seems it's actually a whole lot of choices, all in the same self-destructive direction.

Thanks for the link. I'm going to forward it to some people I know need it. 😉😛 Bookmarked.
 
Sounds like someone I know: a hoarder and a "world traveler". She even likes to lecture me about how I'm a loser for not blowing my money like her -- don't get me wrong, I am, but not for those reasons🙂.

According to her, life could end tomorrow, so you should live in the moment. Never does she answer me when I ask her, "what if you don't die tomorrow?". What happens if you have to live for another 50 years and lose your job a few times along the way...
 
Imp said:
Sounds like someone I know: a hoarder and a "world traveler". She even likes to lecture me about how I'm a loser for not blowing my money like her -- don't get me wrong, I am, but not for those reasons🙂.

According to her, life could end tomorrow, so you should live in the moment. Never does she answer me when I ask her, "what if you don't die tomorrow?". What happens if you have to live for another 50 years and lose your job a few times along the way...
Click to expand...

It's all about having balance. I have plenty of nice things and a good bank account to go along with it. I could blow a lot more money than I do.

The way I see it you have 2 scenarios. You feel "at peace" (feels weird putting it that way) for the greater majority of life and if you end up feeling like you wasted some of what you could do via money near the end, or feel "on edge" most of your life hoping nothing happens and you have enough to make it by, and THEN have problems and wonder what you could have done 🙂
 
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