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Paying respects at the site of death. Why?

lokiju

lokiju

Lifer
I see this all the time. Fresh flowers on the side of the road and a cross to mark where a loved one died in some kind of wreck.

When I was younger a car full of kids my age that I knew (some of them at least) that was driving fast late at night, lost control and 6 of the 8 kids died, this happened over a decade ago yet I still see flowers there on that spot and from time to time there are cars parked up on the median where the crash happened and people paying their respects.

I see it all over though, not just that spot and it made me wonder the other day, why?

Why not just go to where they're buried?
 
Originally posted by: lokiju
I see this all the time. Fresh flowers on the side of the road and a cross to mark where a loved one died in some kind of wreck.

When I was younger a car full of kids my age that I knew (some of them at least) that was driving fast late at night, lost control and 6 of the 8 kids died, this happened over a decade ago yet I still see flowers there on that spot and from time to time there are cars parked up on the median where the crash happened and people paying their respects.

I see it all over though, not just that spot and it made me wonder the other day, why?

Why not just go to where they're buried?
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I don't understand it, either. I forget where, but I read a story about a town or city banning roadside displays b/c they were a distraction.
 
to most it's a memorial/tribute to those who died at that particular scene. for me i guess it's more of a grim reminder that something occured there, and to be careful. at least that's how i view it.
 
Originally posted by: lokiju
I see this all the time. Fresh flowers on the side of the road and a cross to mark where a loved one died in some kind of wreck.

When I was younger a car full of kids my age that I knew (some of them at least) that was driving fast late at night, lost control and 6 of the 8 kids died, this happened over a decade ago yet I still see flowers there on that spot and from time to time there are cars parked up on the median where the crash happened and people paying their respects.

I see it all over though, not just that spot and it made me wonder the other day, why?

Why not just go to where they're buried?
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Because people believe all kinds of fucked up shit? For instance, talking to dead people.
 
Originally posted by: aircooled
Dead is dead. Why not just stay at home and have good thoughts and memories of the departed.
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I 100% agree.

I don't personally agree with even having a grave site as it's just a place to dwell on a loss IMO, but at least I can understand that more than my OP question.
 
Those left behind are attempting to immortalize the dead person's last moment of life, and cannot find a way to move on. It doesn't seem to be very healthy.
 
Though it is not the deceased's final resting place, it is where the spirit left the body and moved on. It is at this point where one can be in touch with the dead's spirit.
 
It's the Princess Di effect. Google it. There has been some quality research done on the phenomenon. Myself, I believe that public grief is symptomatic of a much larger issue I'm not in the mood to flesh out or really discuss here. :0
 
everybody mourns and grieves differently. If that is a place where they find comfort, then let them be. Sometimes people just need a 'place' where in their mind their loved one is, or last was - a place where they can go to and hold onto past emotions. Putting up a memorial for someone is part of the process of instilling the idea that the person is really dead - its the same idea with having a funeral, its a mental confirmation that this really is/did happen.
You say, 'dead is dead', but some people think differently and do what they can to hold onto some sort of attachment to the deceased. Most people move on and transition into a lifestyle without the deceased, while others may never make the transition.
Either way, its normal, and if someone wants to put up a memorial for their loved one, then so what? Its something they think they need to do.
 
Originally posted by: nerp
It's the Princess Di effect. Google it. There has been some quality research done on the phenomenon. Myself, I believe that public grief is symptomatic of a much larger issue I'm not in the mood to flesh out or really discuss here. :0
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this has been going on long before princess diana died.
 
Originally posted by: rasczak
Originally posted by: nerp
It's the Princess Di effect. Google it. There has been some quality research done on the phenomenon. Myself, I believe that public grief is symptomatic of a much larger issue I'm not in the mood to flesh out or really discuss here. :0
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this has been going on long before princess diana died.
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Do the reading, please.
 
Originally posted by: nerp
Originally posted by: rasczak
Originally posted by: nerp
It's the Princess Di effect. Google it. There has been some quality research done on the phenomenon. Myself, I believe that public grief is symptomatic of a much larger issue I'm not in the mood to flesh out or really discuss here. :0
Click to expand...

this has been going on long before princess diana died.
Click to expand...

Do the reading, please.
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I was told there would be no homework.
 
Originally posted by: 1sikbITCH
Those left behind are attempting to immortalize the dead person's last moment of life, and cannot find a way to move on. It doesn't seem to be very healthy.
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I was going to say, the "loved ones" can't move on. They don't understand that mourning the death for so ling is not healthy for them. Instead of going back to the death site, and getting all teary eyed that they are gone, the loved ones need to celebrate the good things that the dead person gave to them.
 
Originally posted by: randay
because they are sad.
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This.

Every single person grieves differently. If it helps a person feel better about losing a loved one and doesnt cause harm who cares.
 
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