Paying for your date?

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TechnoKid

Diamond Member
Feb 12, 2001
5,575
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It depends, I would like to be the "cool" guy to all my friends and offer to pay(whenever I could spare it). I wouldn't feel like I'm being taken advantage of, more of I'm extending my helping hand to my friends.

When I go out with my friends or we are all out somewhere, the worst feeling is not being able to enjoy the time with your friends because you have no money to grab some food or whatnot. So, this is part of the reason why I'd pay for my friends or offer to pay, because we're out to enjoy each others company, and I know the favor would be returned sometime.

If I'm taking out one or some of the ladies, I definately try to offer to pay, (gotta impress the ladies, it's a must:p), but sometimes they pay. If I am on a "date," then I'd definately pay, or try to. If I'm out with a group of a bunch my guy friends and girl friends, then we usually pay for ourselves, or share the food.
 

thomsbrain

Lifer
Dec 4, 2001
18,148
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i think it's best to just trade off treats. that way each person gets to be treated, but doesn't have their wallet catch on fire.
 

sygyzy

Lifer
Oct 21, 2000
14,001
4
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I always pay or at least heavily insist to. But I think after you are in a relationship you have to put your foot down.

My ex-roommate was such an ass to his gf and she loved it. He would actually say "I took you out to dinner the other week, you are paying tonight". She would look a bit sad but sure enough, dinner was on her. As a guy, having a gf is really a big monetary drain, especially if you are a gentleman. So you need to put your foot down early to get some respect...and save some dough.
 

xEDIT409

Banned
May 17, 2003
2,326
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On many of my first dates, we usually go to a nice restaurant and everything... any who, they usally don't end well because of this:

*Waiter brings bill*
me: I'd like for you to split the bill in half
waiter: Of course sir, one moment please
biatch: umm, I thought you'd be paying for me?
me: why would I?
biatch: Cuz i'm a girl :eek:
me: you're point?
biatch: Umm... I dont have any money
me: well... looks like you'll be washing a few dishes tonite, doesnt it?

*me pays, and leaves. Girls stays and washes :)*


Thazz right biatch, I aint yo money supply.
 

BD2003

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
16,815
1
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I dont mind paying the first couple dates, but if she doesnt offer to pay after we've been going out a week or two, I'm starting to wonder whats up. Although honestly it depends on the situation. If youre trying to bag her, and she's a superficial biatch, yeah, youre stuck paying. If youre actually dating someone who will likely become your girlfriend in the future, get her to pay now or you'll be paying forever. You dont have to outright say it in order to pull it off... For example, on line at the movies, stand behind her, and give her the opportunity to go up to the ticket counter first. Or let her know how much your wallet is hurting at the moment etc etc. Or just let her know that "youre taking her out" tonight, as if it isnt the norm.

Maybe its just me, but I cant date a girl that wont pay on a date. I'm sorry this is the 21st century, not the 1950s. It doesnt work like that anymore. I'm down for holding doors and all that, but thats just being a gentleman. Expecting me to subsidize her personal life isnt gonna happen, although of course, it depends on the situation. She doesnt have to split everything halfway down the middle, but if I pay for dinner, she'll pay for the movie etc. Although honestly we usually just throw down what we have and dont haggle over every little dollar. At the very least make her buy you some damn ice cream afterwards.

Although honestly I usually just cook for her, cheaper, and way more fun. Spending 5-10 bucks and a little time cooking saves a ton of dough, way more romantic, and chicks dig guys who can cook.

Then again, maybe my girl is just different. But its not about putting your foot down like she is the enemy. If she is a girl worth having, you wont have this problem to begin with, as long as you dont act like an fool and pretend you can afford taking her out every time to impress her. If you want to be that guy, you reap what you sow.
 

geckojohn

Diamond Member
Nov 28, 2000
4,679
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Originally posted by: nativesunshine
Originally posted by: PipBoy pay for her until either she offers to pay, or you become certain that you ain't gettin' any.
yea..and as soon as you start getting any....you stop paying all together. She'll really appreciate that.
rolleye.gif

hahah... just be open with her and ask her to tradeoff paying for meals or activities. Slowly start to work her in - let her pay for lunch a couple times and then ask for her to pay for some dinners. If she's really into you, then she shouldn't mind paying... especially if she has a job.
 

BlamoHammer

Platinum Member
Sep 21, 2002
2,259
0
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On our first date, I got stuck in traffic on the way to her place so my girl went to the theater (about 5 minutes away) and picked up the tickets for the movie. I in turn bought ice cream later but I still felt "wrong" about it because of the standard that guys pay for the first date.

 

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
34,528
1,695
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Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Do you think less of the woman? Does her willingness to help out malke her less desirable?

No, not really. I honestly don't know how I'd react, I would be kind of dissapointed, but I certainly wouldn't call it a make or break thing.

 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
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www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Do you think less of the woman? Does her willingness to help out malke her less desirable?

No, not really. I honestly don't know how I'd react, I would be kind of dissapointed, but I certainly wouldn't call it a make or break thing.

So a woman extending herself finanically when her partner isn't as well fixed is serious enough to make it a consideration as a "make or break thing"?
 

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
34,528
1,695
126
Originally posted by: Geekbabe


So a woman extending herself finanically when her partner isn't as well fixed is serious enough to make it a consideration as a "make or break thing"?

No, no, I wouldn't call it a make or break thing. It would just be... weird. It would be like opening a door for a woman and her refusing to go through it, or getting up to let her sit down and her refusing to sit.


 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
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www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Originally posted by: Geekbabe


So a woman extending herself finanically when her partner isn't as well fixed is serious enough to make it a consideration as a "make or break thing"?

No, no, I wouldn't call it a make or break thing. It would just be... weird. It would be like opening a door for a woman and her refusing to go through it, or getting up to let her sit down and her refusing to sit.

I dunno,I can think of a lot of ways to describe a woman who see's the specialness of a man to the point that she carries the load fiscally for awhile and "weird" isn't on my list.
 

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
34,528
1,695
126
Originally posted by: Geekbabe

I dunno,I can think of a lot of ways to describe a woman who see's the specialness of a man to the point that she carries the load fiscally for awhile and "weird" isn't on my list.

Well, it's weird relative to the way I was raised. I was raised to:

-Always pay for dates
-Always open doors for women
-Always get up to let women sit down
-Always stand when a woman leaves the table
-Never curse infront of a woman
-Always call a lady ma'am and a gentleman sir

To fail to do any of these would be against the way I was raised. I can deal with letting a girl pay for dates, but do fail to do any of the others is a slap in the face to decency.
 

Tonix

Senior member
Aug 5, 2000
237
0
0
When I dated,
If I'm the one asking the lady out - I always pay.
If something we mutally decided together - I always offer to pay - if she offers to split or treat, I let her.

Chaotic42...that's the way I was raised too :D

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Originally posted by: Geekbabe

I dunno,I can think of a lot of ways to describe a woman who see's the specialness of a man to the point that she carries the load fiscally for awhile and "weird" isn't on my list.

Well, it's weird relative to the way I was raised. I was raised to:

-Always pay for dates
-Always open doors for women
-Always get up to let women sit down
-Always stand when a woman leaves the table
-Never curse infront of a woman
-Always call a lady ma'am and a gentleman sir

To fail to do any of these would be against the way I was raised. I can deal with letting a girl pay for dates, but do fail to do any of the others is a slap in the face to decency.
 

SithSolo1

Diamond Member
Mar 19, 2001
7,740
11
81
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
What do you all think about a woman who pays for everything?

I don't like it. I was raised to pay for the woman.

Do you think less of the woman? Does her willingness to help out make her less desirable?

I was raised the same way. But what I don't like is when I know my partner is financially strapped and still wants to pay. I just can't get over that. I mean come on, the meal was only $20 or so combined, I think I can take care of it. Even then I do not less of here. Money has no place ruling a relationship.

OT: I was also raised to make the money for the household and left the woman stay home. Now granted now a days that doesn't apply so when I do find "the one," I'll let her do whatever she feels like doing. I'm not gonna force her to stay home.
 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
I used to think that I should pay for everything, until I actually got into a long-term relationship - when a man pays for everything, he better have a well-paying job or else he'll be hurting for money eventually, especially as a college student.

I'll pay for a date or two, but anything beyond that requires some equity.
 

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
1
81
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
What do you all think about a woman who pays for everything?

I don't know if I'd go for that too long. I'm happy paying my own way. Now if she was uber rich and wanted to do something out of my financial grasp, I'd let her.