Parents of ATOT, soon to be dad needs some advice!

[Mr N8]

We're having our first child in Sept, and I need some advice from parents. I have a lot of ideas, but I'm hoping to gain some new wisdom from the parents here.

1. What things should I absolutely have for when the baby comes home? A lot of our friends have asked us if we are registered, so we're thinking we might register for some things we'll need at Target and maybe Kohl's.

2. Where are the best (cheapest) places to get good clothing for a baby?

3. What things should I do / get for my wife? I want to make sure she's taken care of, too, and also want to do something special for her once she is home.

4. What were the big adjustments you had to make to your life once you had your first child?

 

[MisfitsFiend]

Nice questions! It's really good that you are thinking of your wife also - I think a lot of the times the focus is all on the baby (as it sould be) but we forget about mom. Sorry, no kids so I don't have any advise, but I am looking forward to reading the answers.

 

[Doggiedog]

1. Maybe a diaper genie, Baby Mozart video (I hate them but they do work), lots of wash cloths.

2. Your friends and relatives who have already had babies.

3. Maybe one of those rocking chairs. Also, she will probably have gone without certain things for a while ie. sushi, alcohol, etc. If she likes any of that, maybe a nice dinner with it or something.

4. Get your sleep in now! You won't get any for at least 3 months. Expect a cranky wife who you may need to pamper.

Congrats and good luck!

 

[aidanjm]

One thing might be to stop demanding sex from your wife for a while. She might need a little time to herself, occasionally, without something or someone hanging off her breasts.

edit: this advice courtesy of an Oprah episode I watched 😉

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: Mr N8
We're having our first child in Sept, and I need some advice from parents. I have a lot of ideas, but I'm hoping to gain some new wisdom from the parents here.

Having my second in September as well.

1. What things should I absolutely have for when the baby comes home? A lot of our friends have asked us if we are registered, so we're thinking we might register for some things we'll need at Target and maybe Kohl's.

Crib/bassinet. You may want the baby in your room so a little bassinet is good.

Lots of diapers, wipes, baby bottles. A mobile for the crib. I highly recommend something like
this and this.

Register at Target and Babies R' Us. Both registeries can be accessed online from Amazon.com.

2. Where are the best (cheapest) places to get good clothing for a baby?

Seriously, consignment shops. You can get baby clothes for just a couple of dollars. Friends and relatives who have had kids are good too.

3. What things should I do / get for my wife? I want to make sure she's taken care of, too, and also want to do something special for her once she is home.

The something special is up to you but just make sure she has her favorite goodies and a clean house.

4. What were the big adjustments you had to make to your life once you had your first child?

I had to learn patience (I have none whatsoever). Also had to learn to budget my time and work it around the needs of the baby and wife.

Also, check around with your local grocery stores and register for whatever baby programs they have. You'll get free coupons and stuff. You can also register on Pampers, Huggies, and others websites to get free stuff and coupons.

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: Doggiedog
1. Maybe a diaper genie, Baby Mozart video (I hate them but they do work), lots of wash cloths.

I'd forego the diaper genie and go with the diaper champ. It is cheaper and you don't have to buy the special expensive bags for it. You can just use the plastic bags leftover from grocery shopping.

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: Mr N8
We're having our first child in Sept, and I need some advice from parents. I have a lot of ideas, but I'm hoping to gain some new wisdom from the parents here.

1. What things should I absolutely have for when the baby comes home? A lot of our friends have asked us if we are registered, so we're thinking we might register for some things we'll need at Target and maybe Kohl's.

Car seat
crib/cradle
My kids loved these vibrating bouncer seats. It was one of the few place my daughter was occasionally content.
Those wind-up swings are nice - make sure you get one with a reclining seat for an infant.
Baby bottles/formula/etc. in case nursing doesn't go well or your wife decides not to nurse.
diapers
mylicon drops - helps with colic & etc.
pacifiers
friends & relatives to give you a break 😛

2. Where are the best (cheapest) places to get good clothing for a baby?

Abosolute cheapest is yardsales - you can find alot of barely used really nice stuff for next to nothing.
Beyond that, walmart/target/etc.

3. What things should I do / get for my wife? I want to make sure she's taken care of, too, and also want to do something special for her once she is home.

Hopefully you're in a position finacially/careerwise so that she can stay home with the baby full time for at least a month or so.

4. What were the big adjustments you had to make to your life once you had your first child?

Lack of sleep
Lack of freedom
Lack of money

 

[new2AMD]

for baby clothes....think hand me downs. For newborns especially. They grow out of them so fast and if you have family or close freinds who had kids and are done then they dont need them anymore.

 

[Queasy]

Oh, if your wife plans to breast feed and pump milk, I highly recommend the Medela Pump In Style. We were able to get one new off of eBay for about half of what it costs retail.

A Boppy is also good to make breast feeding more comfortable for the wife and child.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Mr N8
We're having our first child in Sept, and I need some advice from parents. I have a lot of ideas, but I'm hoping to gain some new wisdom from the parents here.

1. What things should I absolutely have for when the baby comes home? A lot of our friends have asked us if we are registered, so we're thinking we might register for some things we'll need at Target and maybe Kohl's.

2. Where are the best (cheapest) places to get good clothing for a baby?

3. What things should I do / get for my wife? I want to make sure she's taken care of, too, and also want to do something special for her once she is home.

4. What were the big adjustments you had to make to your life once you had your first child?

1.) Babies don't need anything but their parents for the first year. No toys, clothes, etc. are as important as your time. If you can arrange to take 3-4 weeks off you will be doing yourself, your wife, and your child a great favor.

Practically speaking pretty much the only requirement is a car seat.

2) Don't overdo it on the clothing, they grow incredibly quickly and you'll be replacing everyting on a virtually monthly basis... and for god's sake don't buy shoes for someone who can't walk and who you'll be carrying everywhere.

3) You should get her your time if it's at all possible. It's a big adjustment for all three of you.. go slowly and gently and you'll all be fine. If she was regimental about not having caffeine or something like that during her pregnancy... get her a starbucks card... or a box of chocolates... show her you remember she's an individual and not just a baby factory\care unit.

4) You now have to be everything you think a ggod parent should be. There's no going back. You're in it for life.

 

[StageLeft]

Cheap clothes can be had on Ebay, seriously.

In regards to what to prepare for, forget about having much free time. Actually it's rough the first couple of weeks in terms of sleep and scheduling, but soon enough you realize that babies mostly just sleep all the time, so besides the nightly waking up, it's not really so bad. As they get older their sleep adjusts more to yours, and unless you baby sit them in front of the tv you will find your free time is even more sparing.

The baby einstein DVDs are useful to pacify a child, but be warned there have been some not surprising references made to watching these things and ADD. At least with skoorbaby they are crack and shut her up, but something bad has to be happening in there 🙂

 

[djheater]

Btw, we all understand where you're coming from and I know there's no way you can hear this right now... just remember:

No amount of preperation will make you any less anxious

You're anxiety and desire to resolve it through purposeful action are normal but won't really help...

You'll be fine, the baby will be fine, and your wife will too. Millions of babies are born all the time, in the end it's really not that big of a deal 🙂

 

[woowoo]

Originally posted by: Skoorb


The baby einstein DVDs are useful to pacify a child, but be warned there have been some not surprising references made to watching these things and ADD. At least with skoorbaby they are crack and shut her up, but something bad has to be happening in there 🙂

Please do not let your child watch TV.
Educate yourself of the dangers.......

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: woowoo

Originally posted by: Skoorb


The baby einstein DVDs are useful to pacify a child, but be warned there have been some not surprising references made to watching these things and ADD. At least with skoorbaby they are crack and shut her up, but something bad has to be happening in there 🙂

Please do not let your child watch TV.
Educate yourself of the dangers.......

Please don't take a hard-line stance on how to raise a child
Educate yourself on how not to be an assh0le

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: Mr N8
We're having our first child in Sept, and I need some advice from parents. I have a lot of ideas, but I'm hoping to gain some new wisdom from the parents here.

1. What things should I absolutely have for when the baby comes home? A lot of our friends have asked us if we are registered, so we're thinking we might register for some things we'll need at Target and maybe Kohl's.

2. Where are the best (cheapest) places to get good clothing for a baby?

3. What things should I do / get for my wife? I want to make sure she's taken care of, too, and also want to do something special for her once she is home.

4. What were the big adjustments you had to make to your life once you had your first child?

1. Diapers and baby wipes. Don't try toilet paper, it causes more problems than it solves. 🙂

2. I have no idea, my wife is a bargain shopper so she handled this. I believe she used consignment shops alot, since the baby quickly outgrows everything.

3. Anything you can do to take the normal household load off her will help immensely (laundry, groceries, cleaning, cooking, etc.), but it will never be enough, because she delivered the baby and you didn't. However, when her body, mind, and emotions have returned to normal, she'll look back and thank you for everything you did to help.

4. Sex. First, it takes 6 weeks or more for her "gear" to heal up. Meaning, don't even bother trying, unless she's generous with the handjobs. Thereafter, she's going to feel exhausted and unattractive for a few months, so she still won't want to do it much. The worst part is that her boobs will double in size, so you'll want it more than ever but she'll want it barely at all. Another of God's cruel jokes.

Most importantly, just calm down. The REAL problems appear between ages 2 and 3, and they make the first 2 years look EASY. So don't worry...yet.

 

[woowoo]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: woowoo

Originally posted by: Skoorb


The baby einstein DVDs are useful to pacify a child, but be warned there have been some not surprising references made to watching these things and ADD. At least with skoorbaby they are crack and shut her up, but something bad has to be happening in there 🙂

Please do not let your child watch TV.
Educate yourself of the dangers.......

Please don't take a hard-line stance on how to raise a child
Educate yourself on how not to be an assh0le

Children can't speak for themselves
Someone has to.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: woowoo

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: woowoo

Originally posted by: Skoorb


The baby einstein DVDs are useful to pacify a child, but be warned there have been some not surprising references made to watching these things and ADD. At least with skoorbaby they are crack and shut her up, but something bad has to be happening in there 🙂

Please do not let your child watch TV.
Educate yourself of the dangers.......

Please don't take a hard-line stance on how to raise a child
Educate yourself on how not to be an assh0le

Children can't speak for themselves
Someone has to.

You're not qualified to tell Skoorb how to raise his child, and you'll never convince anyone that you are.

 

[DrPizza]

forget the tons of baby bottles, sterilization, etc.
Just get the bottles that have the disposable bags that go in them... much much much easier.

Clothes: buy new if you feel like throwing away your money. We received a lot of new clothes when our first son was born; he outgrew them before he had a chance to wear most of them. Think ebay, garage sales, family and friends; heck, even salvation army or goodwill store. Most baby clothes have been worn only a handful of times before the babies outgrow them.

biggest adjustments: you need to plan well in advance to do anything that will require a babysitter.
The two of you can't just suddenly decide, "hey, let's go to a movie"

 

[rh71]

* marked, for a few years from now. :thumbsup:

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
Clothes: buy new if you feel like throwing away your money. We received a lot of new clothes when our first son was born; he outgrew them before he had a chance to wear most of them. Think ebay, garage sales, family and friends; heck, even salvation army or goodwill store. Most baby clothes have been worn only a handful of times before the babies outgrow them.

QFT. We have four bins of boy baby clothes (one large, two med size, and one slightly smaller than the med size). We bought very few of those clothes. If our next child is a boy, I'm just going to tell people who want to give us clothes to give us money for the baby's education instead. If the next child is a girl, I'm getting rid of all those clothes and cutting up my mother-in-law's credit cards.

 

[anno]

you want to talk to your friends that already have babies.. a lot of the things that are ::must have:: things for tiny babies you really only need for a few months, so if you can borrow them, do. 🙂 like an automagic baby swing.

you may get lucky and have a baby with a happy digestive system, but if you have one with even a touch of colic, you're going to be tellin' all the prospective parents you meet for ever after that that swing is the one thing you couldn't do without. 🙂 even if you're lucky, most babies like to swing.. and even if the baby doesn't like to swing, it gives 'em somewhere to sit and look around without havin' to worry about the cat walkin' on 'em. but.. if the baby has a touchy tummy, that swing may save your life. or at least your sanity.

get first aid stuff.. infant tylenol and a thermometer and a jug of pedialyte at a minimum. those are the kind of things that when you need them, you need them now, and it'll probably be the middle of the night and you will be so glad you don't have to run to the store.

you'll want a stroller or a baby carrier.. backpack/frontpack/sling.. or both.. so you can leave the house and not have to carry the baby all the time. sometimes you need your hands.

you'll want lots of onesies. lots. one piece wigglesuits with feet too, it'll be getting chilly soon, for a september baby.. socks and booties are cute but clothes with the feet in already don't get kicked off at the mall or lost in the wash. start saving the plastic bags the newspaper comes in now, to keep in the diaper bag. babies produce all sorts of hazardous waste. 😛

consignment shops, thrift shops, yard sales, friends and relatives are all good places to get baby clothes. if you want new ones, target is good. always check the clearance racks.

give your wife some time to herself.. a couple hours on the weekend.. I used to go to the library on sunday afternoons. it was quiet there 🙂. an hour in the tub with a glass of wine and a good book in the evening is restorative in so many ways. pick at least 1 night a week to be responsible for dinner, and make one night a week official take-out night. fill the freezer with casseroles and easy dinners and the pantry with chunky soup before the baby comes. you get the hang of having a life and a baby at the same time eventually but initially it's hard to even find the time (or energy) for a shower.

that baby is going to change your life completely. but for the most part, you won't care. 🙂

 

[StageLeft]

As drpizza mentioned, we had the same experience with some clothes skoorbaby basically unable to wear because of growing out of them, plus everybody seems to buy baby clothes, instead of clothes to fid toddlers and what not. We bought almost nothing for her for the first while.

In regards to TV skoorbaby watches little of it. It doesn't take a double blind to know that sitting a kid in front of the tv for three hours/day is bad. However, there are times when it's invaluable, such as when making dinner or taking a shower or something.

I can also second the swing. For the first several months it was a great way to get skoorbaby asleep!

 

[JulesMaximus]

Boppy
Car seat (one for each car)
Basinet (these are handy for the first three months and keeps baby out of your bed)
Changing tables are nice, get one of those convertible pack & play models you can take with you
Lots of diapers and a diaper bag
The usual baby wipes, bottles formula etc.

I cannot stress this enough, do NOT let your baby sleep in your bed with you if at all possible. If you do you'll have a difficult time transitioning him/her to a crib later on. Our pediatrician let her son sleep with them as a baby and he's still in their bed at 3 years old. She regrets that decision.

 

[woowoo]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: woowoo

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: woowoo

Originally posted by: Skoorb


The baby einstein DVDs are useful to pacify a child, but be warned there have been some not surprising references made to watching these things and ADD. At least with skoorbaby they are crack and shut her up, but something bad has to be happening in there 🙂

Please do not let your child watch TV.
Educate yourself of the dangers.......

Please don't take a hard-line stance on how to raise a child
Educate yourself on how not to be an assh0le

Children can't speak for themselves
Someone has to.

You're not qualified to tell Skoorb how to raise his child, and you'll never convince anyone that you are.

I apoligize for sounding harsh
I never meant to attack anyone
I work in the biz (public tv) and know the dangers
I am also a parent of a five year old.
Nuff said........
Back to your reguraly scheduled thread

 

[pancho619]

I thought about starting a similar thread, our baby is due mid-August. Thanks to the OP for posting and thanks to the rest of you for such helpful advice.