parents having a huge fight, someone please help me out...

[Ernieb]

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: Aceshigh
My parents divorced when I was a toddler.

ditto and my dad died when I was 5

 

[Chaotic42]

I don't know what to tell you, but my prayers are with you man.

Take care.

I wish there were a sadder icon than

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: Balthazar
Or you could firebomb the wacko nutjob "shrinks" cars. I love that "you are unable to love yourself"....wtf kind of crap is that?
I LOVE the way shrinks work, you have some problem, which isn't earth shattering, just need some counsel, goto a shrink, they tell you that you are screwed up so bad you wont be right for the next decade. Great way to drum up business. I tell you what, shrinks are the WORST people around, screw lawyers, they just take your money, shrinks take your sanity.

"I think we should contnue this on a weekly basis, in time you will learn to love yourself again." good lord, no other "profession" make me so violently ill as that.

Dont get me wrong, SOME people do need it, but not NEARLY as many people as they'd love you to believe.
And not nearly to the levels which they propose....

Good luck with everything man....sorry to hear you've got a bit of a crisis going on....

yeah i hear you on this one. i dont know exactly what the guy said to her...i told you everything i know. i know for sure though that my mom is basically unable to feel good about herself and probably because of tons of things. i dont know why exactly but i guess it has built up so long that she doesnt remember what it was like to love my father, or maybe she is just really messed up by the shrink now...?

too many unknowns i guess. thanks again to everyone and the PMs i have received are great.

 

[PlatinumGold]

OMFG I hate quack shrinks like that. they try to impose an ideal world in an imperfect situation.

Truth is NONE of us lives in an ideal world. NONE of us can love ourselves PERFECTLY or our spouses PERFECTLY. the fact that this quack shrinks gave her the message that she is incapable of loving herself OR her spouse is INEXCUSABLE.

You don't know how much this pisses me off.

She has to deal FIRST with the fact that she has RESPONSIBILITIES and any recovery she feels she needs can ONLY come about in the context of that REALITY.

Love isn't just feelings, part of love is JUST STAYING.

Sorry for ranting, but modern quack shrinks have really done a lot to destroy families and it really pisses me off.

 

[alkemyst]

Sorry to hear, but there is nothing for you to do really. Just stay impartial and listen and let them work it out.

"Shrinks" (i hate that word) seem to use the same references for 90% of the world's problems....maybe that's the way it is, but I saw one once and whenever they started going down a tangent I knew was not why I am me, I cut them off.

Now, looking back, I could have gotten all the advice that doctor gave me just reading...but people want to be spoon-fed and they mostly just want answers and a solution to feel good, whether or not it's really the right one.

 

[gotsmack]

you ever watch the movie "War of the Roses"?

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
OMFG I hate quack shrinks like that. they try to impose an ideal world in an imperfect situation.

Truth is NONE of us lives in an ideal world. NONE of us can love ourselves PERFECTLY or our spouses PERFECTLY. the fact that this quack shrinks gave her the message that she is incapable of loving herself OR her spouse is INEXCUSABLE.

You don't know how much this pisses me off.

She has to deal FIRST with the fact that she has RESPONSIBILITIES and any recovery she feels she needs can ONLY come about in the context of that REALITY.

Love isn't just feelings, part of love is JUST STAYING.

Sorry for ranting, but modern quack shrinks have really done a lot to destroy families and it really pisses me off.

i dont know if it makes me that angry, but yes i indeed do hate what this guy did too. i dont have any clue about what was said or if it was right...but she thinks she has no hope for anything and you are right, it is effecting our whole family.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Just try to stay calm and realize that this is about who they are, and their relationship. The uncertainity must be scary, but remember that their problems have to be worked out by them. It may take a while, but in the end, your parents will improve the situation.

 

[Ornery]

I don't know about MrDudeMan, but a few of you seem to be overlooking the fact that a mental illness may be involved. I'm not saying for sure that it is, or that it can't be dealt with favorably if that's the case, but this situation will NOT improve on it's own if mom does have this type of problem.

I've personally known two families impacted by schizophrenia or other mental illness. The one without schizophrenia is undiagnosed as of several years ago, the last time I saw her. Personally, I don't think any amount of counseling or "time alone" could set them right. Some type of medication is the only answer for folks like these.

 

[AnitaPeterson]

luvly is right.

Women need attention and protection.

 

[rufruf44]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
OMFG I hate quack shrinks like that. they try to impose an ideal world in an imperfect situation.

Truth is NONE of us lives in an ideal world. NONE of us can love ourselves PERFECTLY or our spouses PERFECTLY. the fact that this quack shrinks gave her the message that she is incapable of loving herself OR her spouse is INEXCUSABLE.

You don't know how much this pisses me off.

She has to deal FIRST with the fact that she has RESPONSIBILITIES and any recovery she feels she needs can ONLY come about in the context of that REALITY.

Love isn't just feelings, part of love is JUST STAYING.

Sorry for ranting, but modern quack shrinks have really done a lot to destroy families and it really pisses me off.

Amen to that. These type of shrink only cares about how much $$$ they can get paid, and how often they can get the patient for a 2nd,3rd,...100th visit.
Is there any longtime friend of your mom than she can confide and console with? She might not be comfortable with her own family for right now, so her friends is very important for support and advice.