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Overused corporate buzzwords/phrases you hate

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Most corporate buzzwords, LEAN, sustainability, efficiency, project coordinator, etc. Most things that come out of the mouths of certain managers and supervisors.
 
Had a brief stint as a management consultant

"strategic plan"

"stakeholders"

"dashboard"

"balanced scorecard"

"benchmarks"

"vision statement"

In my current position, this one person always finishes their emails to me with "please advise." Drives me nuts.
 
Not a corporate buzzword really but an annoying phrase I've heard at work a lot recently: Things relating to plates, like "he has a lot on his plate"

Fucking heard plates mentioned like five times in one meeting recently. I thought about using a paper plate from lunch and piling shit on it and setting it on my desk, so if someone came in they'd be like "oh your plate is real full huh".

I hate lean, green, leveraging, transformation, touching base, synergy...
 
The thing I love about companies that espouse "six sigma" is that if they truly followed that practice, nothing would ever leave their factories.
 
proactive
mitigate
golden parachute
think outside the box
solution, i.e. calling a hard drive a 'storage solution'
paradigm


recent political overused phrases:

earmarks
maverick
my friend(s)
change
 
Originally posted by: Chiropteran
Originally posted by: hungfarover
how much is ON YOUR PLATE
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My boss uses that one every day, in multiple forms.

"I know you already have a lot on your plate, but could you take a look at this in your spare time."

"So what do you still have on your plate that needs to get done?"

"You have a lot on your plate so I'm going to try to take care of this myself first before I bother you with it"
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Just tell him you're full. Or that he's full... of you know.
 
As many have already said, synergy! That was annoying in the 80s and it hasn't gotten any better.

Originally posted by: preslove
I just applied to a job at a community college that required a writing sample answering the question of "what is your concept of a learning-centered college." I ended up referencing a journal article with the title of "From teaching to learning: A new paradigm for undergraduate education," along with two books on the subject. My little paper was full of buzzwords like "Learning Paradigm," "facilitators," "learning environments," "learning experiences," and the like. But, that paper pails in comparison to the bullshit I had to write in a leadership course. The "leadership" field is basically only made up of empty buzzwords.
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The education field is just as bad as business when it comes to jargon. :disgust:



Originally posted by: JC
recent political overused phrases:

earmarks
maverick
my friend(s)
change
Click to expand...

To that I'll add "This is America..." or "We are Americans..." (then plug in empty phrase to finish)."
 
I finally remembered what this thread reminded me of
MEYERS
I have figured out how to rejuvenate the show. It's so simple, you egghead writers would've never thought of it! What we need is... a new character! One that today's kids can relate to!

The writers look at each other, uncertain.

OAKLEY
Are you absolutely sure that's wise, sir? I mean, I don't want to sound pretentious here, but Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad.

KRUSTY
Hey, this ain't art, it's business! (to Meyers) Whaddya got in mind? Sexy broad? Gangster octopus?

MEYERS
No, no. The animal chain of command goes mouse, cat, dog. (to the writers) D-O-G.

WEINSTEIN
Uh, a dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?

EXECUTIVE
In your dreams. We're talking the original dog from hell.

OAKLEY
You mean Cerberus?

EXECUTIVE
(pause) We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.

KRUSTY
So he's proactive, huh?

EXECUTIVE
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

MEYER
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. I'm fired, aren't I?

MEYERS
Oh, yes.

MEYERS
The rest of you writers start thinking up a name for this funky dog; I dunno, something along the line of say... Poochie, only more proactive.
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