It seems to be an unwritten rule amongst the online hardware community that you?re simply not a real computer expert unless you?re an overclocker. Running your system as the manufacturer recommends is for girlies and you must be a newbie if you haven?t pushed your computer just that little bit further. To join the ranks of the self-proclaimed self-satisfied hardware gurus found lurking on every newsgroup and forum on the net, you must go through the sacred rites of voltage increase, lapping, blow-hole creation and peltier installation. Only then will you have reached the giddy heights of the hardware god. Newbies throughout the web will bow down to your divine received wisdom and shower your forum posts with sycophantic and self-deprecating praise.
And it?s not helped by the online hardware sites. No motherboard or processor review is complete without detailed ?analysis? of the overclockability of the system. A motherboard that can?t overclock is summarily dismissed with contempt as a budget board (for the technically illiterate, they might as well add). Few processor reviews even care how well a processor performs at its rated speed ? the question every reviewer wants to know is ?how well does it overclock??.
A whole industry has built up around the hardcore overclocker, shrouded in a heady blend of science, pseudo-science and marketing techno-babble. Aluminum heatsinks. Copper heatsinks. Aluminum-copper heatsinks. Square heatsinks. Cylindrical heatsinks. Orbs. Orb 3?s. Super-Orbs. Blue Orbs. Golden Orbs. Heat pipes. Shims. Deltas. Volcanoes. Artic Silver. Artic Silver II. Artic Silver III. Heat spreaders. Water coolers. Peltiers. There's egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam. It?s an overclocking zoo out there, and don?t expect to earn any respect on the net unless you?re a fully paid up member of the extreme hardware posse.
Overclocking is a singularly male obsession ? a testosterone-fueled quest to become the leader of the pack. Don?t expect your wife or girlfriend to show the slightest interest in your memory bandwidth or the CFM your HSF pushes at max RPM. Overclocking is the expression of the 21st Century geek?s biological drive to become the dominant male. Machine machismo. Processor envy. To blow or to suck, that is the question. It?s the hAcKEr?z version of playground penis comparison and equally pointless. After all, as any woman will tell you, it?s not the size that matters but what you do with it.
Nor does overclocking require any great technical prowess. The rules are simple: maximize the cooling, up the voltage and tweak the BIOS. Overclocking success is a simple function of the quality of your components with a large dollop of chance thrown in. The more you spend on cooling, the more you can overclock. Until the processor burns out. It?s easy and you could teach your grandmother to do it.
But overclocking is an ultimately futile and depressing experience. The overclocker is never quite satisfied. Just one more case fan and the FSB is sure to get past the magic 203MHz. A little more lapping on the base of your PolarIce 6500GLX 16v heatsink and you?ll get your Celeron 400MHz running at 2.6GHz like that guy on the overklockerz.com forums. Only you probably won?t and you?ll then feel a little more inferior than when you started. Processor envy. And at what cost? Overclocking is rarely speed for free ? a decent heatsink and fan is $50, three or four case fans will be another $30, $5 for ArticSilver ? a total of $85, the difference between buying a Duron 1.1GHz and an AthlonXP 2100+! And that $50 fan almost certainly wouldn?t have bought you a 1GHz overclock. Furthermore, processor architecture aside, running a Duron at 2.1GHz will not be the same as running an AthlonXP 2100+. All that cooling is very loud and unless you?re very unusual, all that noise will soon begin to irritate. What?s the point in buying the latest 96 kHz 24-bit soundcard with digital speakers, only to be deafened by six fans pushing air through your case like a demented vacuum cleaner? Anything other than modest overclocking will also inevitably impact on stability, how ever hard you try. Even if it doesn?t there?s always that nagging doubt when you get that occasional blue screen of death ? is it a driver problem or that extra 5MHz?
Given that there are few applications that tax even a modest 1.2GHz Duron the whole emphasis on overclocking seems misplaced. What is the point? More thought should be placed on the whole computing experience. Silence is golden and I?d much rather have a silent computer than achieve an extra 10% out of my processor that I can?t notice anyway.
I recently removed all my case fans and just have my processor running at its stock speed. The computer?s performance ?feels? identical and yet the room is quiet and I can at last enjoy my Audigy soundcard and Digital speakers. I never want to poke around in SoftMenu III again. It?s like kicking an addiction, and it feels great to be clean. I thoroughly recommend it.