Only In Canada

[toph99]

in light of the recent Canada threads, here's an email i got a while ago(hope it's not a repost)

> ONLY IN CANADA ?
> >>
> >>1. Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
> >>ambulance.
> >>2. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a
> >>skating rink.
> >>3. Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the
> >>back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy
> >>cigarettes at the front.
> >>4. Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large
fries,
> >>and a diet coke.
> >>5. Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
> >>pens to the counters.
> >>6. Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the
> >>driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
> >>7. Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and
> >>then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want
> >>to talk to in the first place.
> >>8. Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns
> >>in packages of eight.
> >>9. Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
> >>process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
> >>'bloodsucking creatures'.
> >>10. Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
> >>lettering.
> >>
> >>You know you're from Canada when ...
> >>
> >>1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
> >> 2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
> >> 3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
> >> 4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
> >> 5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
> >> 6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at
> >>Christmas.
> >> 7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one
meter
> >>above the ground.
> >> 8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
> >> 9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in
> >>with snow.
> >>10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with
only
> >>8 buttons.
> >>11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
> >>12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2
> >>pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
> >>13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing
plant.
> >>14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
> >>15. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
> >>16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
> >>17. You head south to go to your cottage.
> >>18. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't
prowl
> >>on your deck.
> >>19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
> >>20. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
> >>21. You find -40C a little chilly.
> >>22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
> >>23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest
jewellery
> >>and your Sorrels.
> >>24. You can play road hockey on skates.
> >>25. You know 4 seasons: winter, Still winter, almost winter and
> >>Construction.
> >>26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
> >>27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
> >>28. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada."
> >>29. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian
> >>friends because they'll get them too. Plus you send them to your
> >>non-Canadian friends because they're not Canadian and you want to make
> >>them jealous

 

[woodly6]

Thats funny EH!

 

[N8Magic]

So true! So true!

It's what being a Canadian is all about!

 

[yllus]

<< 28. You perk up when you hear the theme from &quot;Hockey Night in Canada.&quot; >>

Da da na da da... Love it!

 

[AnitaPeterson]

I swear I've seen that ONLY IN CANADA before, but the country was the United States !

Anyway, this is old, and it has been going around on the Net for a while...

As for the popular image of cold, don't forget that 80% of our population lives withing 100 miles from the U.S. border, which is not even close to Arctic conditions. I mean sure, you can go live in some Godforsaken place, with the polar bears, but it's your choice - you must really like it there.

 

[Javelin]

And some people still don't think we have a national identity! What more do they want?

 

[JohnnyKnoxville]

Funny even though I'm not Canadian

 

[FrogDog]

OK this has been bugging me for a while. When someone gets a diet coke, it's not because they're looking to avoid the 6 calories, it's because of the god damn SUGAR. It does a number on your teeth, and that's why someone might order a double cheeseburger, large fries and a diet coke. And even if they were buying it for the reduction in calories, so what? If it tastes the same to you, why not?

OK I'm done.

 

[Atlantean]

Thats pretty funny, even though I am a Canadian, and I have warmer summers than some places in the states... Does anyone else here think that Canadians are more patriotic than americans?

 

[bozo1]

<< Does anyone else here think that Canadians are more patriotic than americans? >>


I do, by far. I've spend a lot of time in Canada on business and even experienced a number of Canada Day's - puts the US 4th of July to shame.

 

[Zab]

Hehe only in Canada

 

[StageLeft]

To add to frogdog's post: I WILL smack the next person who whines at me for ordering a junky meal and getting diet pepsi/coke with it! They always say &quot;You're eating so many calories anyway, whats the problem with a few more?&quot; Hows about I'm already putting on 8 pounds with this meal I don't need an extra 300 calories?

I used to hear this all the time when I'd mix my rum with diet pepsi. Same old argument, but when you're putting down 6-8 drinks in a night thats like 900 calories!

Anyway some people do prefer diet pepsi to regular anyway

 

[lamplighter]

Haha I like the Halloween ones (it is true in Edmonton where I used to live but not here in Toronto). October 31st was like the first day of snow there.

I've lived in Canada and the States, and its hard to compare. Americans are more patriotic simply because they think they are the center of the world. Canadians, especially on the net, have to be very patriotic not to get overshawdowed too much. However, there are a ton of Canadians who think the States is a lot cooler and would rather live there (mainly teens/twenties). July 4th is bigger than July 1st I found, every little town in America has fireworks and everyone has flags.

 

[StageLeft]

Only reason I'd personally move to states is cause I could start making a real salary and when you guys start talking about all your fancy cars you're buying I don't have to think what I can get after the US exhange and our taxes and non tax deductible mortages, etc. etc.

 

[lamplighter]

Oh, and when immigrants come to America they become Americans (melting pot) while in Canada they are encouraged to keep their culture, so they become Canadians second.

 

[lamplighter]

<< Only reason I'd personally move to states is cause I could start making a real salary and when you guys start talking about all your fancy cars you're buying I don't have to think what I can get after the US exhange and our taxes and non tax deductible mortages, etc. etc. >>



I checked out DeVry to see if it was for me (found it was exactly what I wanted to learn but decided I needed the full university experience). They had average starting salary in Canada after graduating from DeVry to be $35,000 and in the States, $40,000 (or $60,000 CDN). Huge difference but I'll stay Canadian even if I do stray to the States for a few years.

 

[Atlantean]

Sorry but canadians are more patriotic than americans, even thought we don't &quot;think we are the center of the world&quot; as someone said earlier.

 

[Zab]

Only in Canada can you kill someone and not get the death penalty

 

[N8Magic]

Only in Canada can you kill someone and not get the death penalty

That may be the case, but when we last had it, it was no wimpy lethal injection or electric chair, it was by HANGING.

 

[DukeN]

Hockey sux like monica lewinsky, and I'm not ashamed to say that either (I'm canadian too).

Not to mention those idiots doing 'hockey night in canada' are a bunch of racist hillbillies, especially Don Cherry. A disgrace to this country.

 

[kami]

DukeN, you are the disgrace here.