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One morning @ breakfast time (Another stolen Brutuskend JOKE)

B

Brutuskend

Lifer
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I'm driving."
 
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I'm driving."
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10/10. My mom and younger sister do that while driving. Drives(no pun intended) me crazy.
 
i didn't laugh, in fact, i broke out into tears 🙁 So relatable, you got straight to the heart brutuskend :beer:
 
Originally posted by: Mik3y
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Mik3y
1/10 because you forgot to tell the funny part. 😛
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Don't drive with women in the car much, do ya?
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eh, i'm only 18. i wouldnt understand yet i guess.
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When I was 16 (and since then), it was my mother saying I was too far to one side of the lane or the other, or that I was going around tunrs too fast, or going too fast in general.

When I was 18, it was my girlfriend telling me not to speed.

If you're old enough to drive, consider yourself lucky to have not experienced this yet. 😀
 
True, because that's how my mom and dad are. Pisses me off. I'm going to videotape me driving my mom somewhere one of these days, it's hilarious. Every turn, she grabs the door handle with one hand and the dash with the other, and she always tells me to drive the speed limit when the flow of traffic is 15 mph above it.

One time, in rush hour, she got mad at me and yelled cuz I got cut off by some guy and didn't slam on the breaks so I was all "Jesus Mom, what do you want me to do? Take your pick: Me slow down and stop really close to the van that cut me off or get rear-ended as I slam on the brakes and panic like a little girl? You know, Dad and I aren't bad drivers, you just need to calm down. It's people like you they're talking to when they say not to panic in tense situations, and this one wasn't even tense."
 
heh 10/10

I hate driving with my mother-in-law. she always complains about it. EVEN if i am doing the speed limit! She hates to drive so she always ask me to driver her (well to like airports, takeing her husband to the VA clinic etc. shopping is fine for her). Last time she complained we were comeing back from the Brookfield zoo when i pulled over and got out. Told her to drive and i would sit in back. heh she refused so we sat there for 20 minutes before i drove again.


That has started to shut her up.
 
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