On crime and punishment - Misdemeanor cat abuse

[Hayabusa Rider]

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

It's not going to help if you are a professional or not. A suggestion is not to frame it with an indefinite. "We will see if" means "Maybe you won't get the kitty back ever"

If this has been going on for a while, you have made your point. Is there real benefit from extending it further? She knows you are in control. Make sure you explain the rules AND reinforce them with reminders and encouragement when she does well.

 

[alchemize]

Originally posted by: WinstonSmith

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

It's not going to help if you are a professional or not. A suggestion is not to frame it with an indefinite. "We will see if" means "Maybe you won't get the kitty back ever"

If this has been going on for a while, you have made your point. Is there real benefit from extending it further? She knows you are in control. Make sure you explain the rules AND reinforce them with reminders and encouragement when she does well.

I don't think my wife is dragging it out - my daughter is talking it through. She has a personality that she really wants to talk about these kind of things after they happen.

I can see your point on the indefinite time frame. Maybe we'll tell her tomorrow "the cat is going to be gone for 2 days. During this time we are going to work on your responsibility and being caring for animals"

 

[aplefka]

Fvck no you're not. She needs to have a little more respect for living things and if she's not mature enough yet then you and your wife will just have to take care of the cat by yourself for a while. If you let her get away with something like this now, she'll grow older thinking this sort of stuff is okay.

 

[Specop 007]

Originally posted by: aplefka
Fvck no you're not. She needs to have a little more respect for living things and if she's not mature enough yet then you and your wife will just have to take care of the cat by yourself for a while. If you let her get away with something like this now, she'll grow older thinking this sort of stuff is okay.

Well, this sort of thing IS ok.
Provided said kitty is sitting on your brand new E55 AMG one morning as you step outside.
God help the cat when I find his little ass sitting on my car. Only thing I find are the incrimintaing footprints. Theres like 9 cats on the farm so i dont know which to blast on, and I dont want to kill an innocent cat.
But when I find said guilty party.....:frown:

Not of course that the cat is sitting on an E55 in my case. But nontheless......

 

[Yossarian]

how are you going to keep the cat away? give it to the grandparents or something? keep it in the dumpster?

 

[Darilus]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

In addition to placing an inappropriate responsibility on a kid that age, I think your punishment techniques are also age inappropriate. Does this kid even understand what she did is wrong? Does she know her own strength? Does she know the cat might be hurt? And at that age, is she even able to make the connection between doing something "wrong" and having her cat suddenly disappear. It all seems pretty crazy to me. But then, you're a conservative, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

Do you have ANY experience with children at all? A 5 year old is very capable of understanding that it is not okay to throw your pets. She is also perfectly capable of understanding the connection between throwing the cat and it being taken away.

Him being a conservative has nothing to do with the fact that you don't know a damn thing about children, but are willing to say that everything is too strict. Go spend some time around kids before you start lecturing.

 

[DaWhim]

give her back the cat.
beat her with a stick or something like that and tell her not to do it again. nurture > nature, period.

 

[Nitemare]

Should have asked her how she would like to be thrown down the steps.

I say take the kitten away for a week and when you do give it back, let her know that if it happens again she will not have a pet again until she can drive to the pet story and get one herself.


At the age of 5 she should know better.

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Should have asked her how she would like to be thrown down the steps.

I say take the kitten away for a week and when you do give it back, let her know that if it happens again she will not have a pet again until she can drive to the pet story and get one herself.


At the age of 5 she should know better.

Dont forget to beat her real good too.

What the hell are people going to suggest if she does something really bad? Draw and quarter?

The point is to make a point.

Damn people are over reacting.

 

[Gurck]

You're not being strict enough. If you don't teach her how to treat living beings, who will? I blame weak-willed parents who don't discipline their children for many of society's ills...

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: alchemize

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: alchemize
For Christmas we let our daughter, who will be five in April, keep a little stray kitten that wandered into our garage. We've been very clear that this is her cat, and she bears the responsibility of cleaning the litter box, feeding it, etc. (with our help of course).

She's been OK - but she's had a problem with "treating it like a toy". i.e. swinging it around, being too rough with it.

Well, tonight she went overboard and threw it down the stairs. After discussion with my wife, we decided we would "take the cat away" for a while. We explained to her that the cat was going away for a while, and we would think about if she could have the responsibility again. She was devastated. I mean sobbing like I've never seen her cry before. It was heart wrenching 🙁 🙁

So my question is - are we being too strict? How long should we keep the cat away?

PS I usually post in P&N. I'm a bastard rich elitist neocon.

In addition to placing an inappropriate responsibility on a kid that age, I think your punishment techniques are also age inappropriate. Does this kid even understand what she did is wrong? Does she know her own strength? Does she know the cat might be hurt? And at that age, is she even able to make the connection between doing something "wrong" and having her cat suddenly disappear. It all seems pretty crazy to me. But then, you're a conservative, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

Forgive me if I take any of your advice with a very large grain of salt...

you're forgiven. 😀

 

[Lyfer]

GIve her the cat.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

Interesting, I'd never have expected someone like you to hook up with a smart woman..

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Should have asked her how she would like to be thrown down the steps.

I say take the kitten away for a week and when you do give it back, let her know that if it happens again she will not have a pet again until she can drive to the pet story and get one herself.


At the age of 5 she should know better.

I agree with Nitemare... 100%.

IMO.... if not being aware that swinging a cat, or throwing it down the stairs is wrong, then the child is too young to have a pet.... if she knows it is wrong and does it anyway... well, that is a whole different can of worms that will require much more than two days without a kitten.

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

Interesting, I'd never have expected someone like you to hook up with a smart woman..

can you be just a tad bit more insulting?

 

[Atomicus]

Take a lesson from Meet the Fockers; teach your kid to self-sooth.

Also, tell her what she did wrong by switching the situation around. Ask your daughter how she would feel if someone threw her down the stairs.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Lyfer
GIve her the cat.

Kill the cat. That'll learn her.

 

[alchemize]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

Interesting, I'd never have expected someone like you to hook up with a smart woman..

She also has a master's degree in public health, and was accepted (but did not attend) the Air Force Academy. I only hold a single masters so she's got me there...

She's also a red-haired irish and the daughter of a marine and police lt. Kinda blows away your stereotypes there eh?

 

[lavagirl669]

Originally posted by: alchemize

Originally posted by: WinstonSmith

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

It's not going to help if you are a professional or not. A suggestion is not to frame it with an indefinite. "We will see if" means "Maybe you won't get the kitty back ever"

If this has been going on for a while, you have made your point. Is there real benefit from extending it further? She knows you are in control. Make sure you explain the rules AND reinforce them with reminders and encouragement when she does well.

I don't think my wife is dragging it out - my daughter is talking it through. She has a personality that she really wants to talk about these kind of things after they happen.

I can see your point on the indefinite time frame. Maybe we'll tell her tomorrow "the cat is going to be gone for 2 days. During this time we are going to work on your responsibility and being caring for animals"

I think this is a good idea

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: alchemize

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

Interesting, I'd never have expected someone like you to hook up with a smart woman..

She also has a master's degree in public health, and was accepted (but did not attend) the Air Force Academy. I only hold a single masters so she's got me there...

She's also a red-haired irish and the daughter of a marine and police lt. Kinda blows away your stereotypes there eh?

Interesting. Does she share your general political outlook?

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: WinstonSmith

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Should have asked her how she would like to be thrown down the steps.

I say take the kitten away for a week and when you do give it back, let her know that if it happens again she will not have a pet again until she can drive to the pet story and get one herself.


At the age of 5 she should know better.

Dont forget to beat her real good too.

What the hell are people going to suggest if she does something really bad? Draw and quarter?

The point is to make a point.

Damn people are over reacting.

Lack of discipline is the reason why this generation of kids are going to be worthless.

 

[Viper GTS]

Originally posted by: Atomicus
Take a lesson from Meet the Fockers; teach your kid to self-sooth.

Also, tell her what she did wrong by switching the situation around. Ask your daughter how she would feel if someone threw her down the stairs.

Better yet, give her first hand experience.

😀

Damn I'm going to hell.

Viper GTS

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: alchemize
For Christmas we let our daughter, who will be five in April, keep a little stray kitten that wandered into our garage. We've been very clear that this is her cat, and she bears the responsibility of cleaning the litter box, feeding it, etc. (with our help of course).

She's been OK - but she's had a problem with "treating it like a toy". i.e. swinging it around, being too rough with it.

Well, tonight she went overboard and threw it down the stairs. After discussion with my wife, we decided we would "take the cat away" for a while. We explained to her that the cat was going away for a while, and we would think about if she could have the responsibility again. She was devastated. I mean sobbing like I've never seen her cry before. It was heart wrenching 🙁 🙁

So my question is - are we being too strict? How long should we keep the cat away?

PS I usually post in P&N. I'm a bastard rich elitist neocon.

In addition to placing an inappropriate responsibility on a kid that age, I think your punishment techniques are also age inappropriate. Does this kid even understand what she did is wrong? Does she know her own strength? Does she know the cat might be hurt? And at that age, is she even able to make the connection between doing something "wrong" and having her cat suddenly disappear. It all seems pretty crazy to me. But then, you're a conservative, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

dunno why... but for some reason.. your reply reminded me of a joke I read online...

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican?

What with elections coming up, we should all decide. Question: How do you tell which you are? The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a large caliber hand gun, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does my gun have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 ? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer: BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


sorry if i took this thread off topic... but your questioning and comments about politics made me think of this.

 

[alchemize]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: alchemize

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: alchemize
I can hear them (mom and daughter) having a conversation on it still over the baby monitor. They've been talking for almost an hour.

BTW my wife has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has read about every child development book on the planet, but applying these things IRL is always tough. I often defer final judgement to her.

Interesting, I'd never have expected someone like you to hook up with a smart woman..

She also has a master's degree in public health, and was accepted (but did not attend) the Air Force Academy. I only hold a single masters so she's got me there...

She's also a red-haired irish and the daughter of a marine and police lt. Kinda blows away your stereotypes there eh?

Interesting. Does she share your general political outlook?

For the most part. She's a liberal turned conservative as well. Spending a few years in social work counseling mistreated kids turned her, as did 9/11.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Should have asked her how she would like to be thrown down the steps.

I say take the kitten away for a week and when you do give it back, let her know that if it happens again she will not have a pet again until she can drive to the pet story and get one herself.


At the age of 5 she should know better.

I agree with Nitemare... 100%.

IMO.... if not being aware that swinging a cat, or throwing it down the stairs is wrong, then the child is too young to have a pet.... if she knows it is wrong and does it anyway... well, that is a whole different can of worms that will require much more than two days without a kitten.

I must be getting soft for anyone to agree with me...must try harder...
🙂